If you could learn one piece of parenting information, could it be how to decrease the rivalry and conflict between your offspring? This book is an oldie but a goodie that one our of therapists read and found helpful. It is easy to read and it has a comic strip for each take home point, allowing for a quick review or a brief overview.

 

The authors review the different ways parents subtly sabotage the peace in the house. From comparing siblings, to getting involved in children's battles, the authors review how parents can change their own behaviors and expectations to facilitate better behaviors in their children and between their children.

Our therapist found the book had an impact on her and her husband's parenting style at home. The most valuable piece of advice was to not get involved in the children's battles. When her boys, two and a half years apart, would begin to raise their voices, each was sent to a different room. The boys were allowed to come out once the issue had been worked out. Now that her boys are older and they have heard her talk about this book, she says the best words were said by her oldest, "Sometimes we agreed to disagree."

 

The authors have also written How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk and have a website focused on improving communication skills between parents and children.

 

Please check out their books and website and let us know what you think!

 

Farber A, Mazlish E. Siblings without rivalry. NY, NY: WW Norton & Company; 1998.

 

The Teenage Brain

The power and purpose of the teenage brain

Daniel J. Siegel, M.D.

 

Daniel Siegel, M.D., is a clinical professor of psychiatry at UCLA and has an extensive pediatric background. His most recent book, Brainstorm, The power and purpose of the teenage brain, puts this turbulent adolescent time in a positive light. He reviews the negative connotations of adolescence and upends these with an accessible review of the neurologic changes that occur during adolescence. The book is written for adolescents and adults to read.

 

The biggest take home points are the hormonal and neurologic changes that are taking place during this stage of development and how these changes affect a teen's brain and behavior. As teens develop, the levels of the feel-good hormone, dopamine, drop and the threshold for release increases, so adolescents are driven to engage in activities that are more novel to get the same baseline level of dopamine in their brains. The teen behavior that is often called impulsive, Dr. Siegel refers to as hyper-rational, noting that teens are aware of the consequences of their actions, but instead of considering the negative outcomes they become hyper focused on the chances of a positive outcome.

 

The book goes on to discuss the positive aspects and changes of the adolescent brain and also reviews attachments and how these might affect our relationships with our family, parents or teens.  

 

Throughout his books, Dr. Siegel not only gives brief, accessible neurologic information, he also provides guidance on facilitating better attachments and improved communication between parents and their offspring.

 

Please check out his books and website and let us know what you think!