Ending any relationship you have gotten used to can be painful; especially one that is significant.  We are creatures of habit and as time continues to speed up and we live in increasingly fast paced society, we tend to find ourselves craving a sense of normalcy and stability.

Sometimes major change needs to happen so that we can continue growing and evolving.

Ending a relationship with a partner or spouse can feel especially difficult when you have cared about that person for a long time.  From a spiritual perspective, relationships are often pre-determined  - the dynamic of the relationship, its' duration, and especially, the opportunities for growth for each person.   Here are the common stages one goes through during and after a break up of significance:

 

  

Karmic Relationships.  Many relationships are Karmic.  You come into each others lives to work through unfinished business from the last time you were with this individual.  If you abused that person in a previous life, you might be the one who finds yourself being abused until you set limits, get the lesson or leave.  Another example is a parent who worries excessively every time their child leaves the house.  You are gripped with anxiety and don't know why until you learn that in a previous life, she or he was killed the last time you saw him or her leave.  I work with clients who feel less like a victim when I share with them that they abused their abusive parent (in this life), in a previous life when parent child roles were reversed.  The process of balancing karma takes place in most relationships if we look deep enough to see it or work with a gifted intuitive healer who can help us understand the dynamic and then move past it by energetically clearing the negative dynamics.

What did you learn about yourself by being with this person?  Maybe you now know you have a capacity to love you didn't realize you had.   Perhaps you learned how to not lose yourself with that person and stay in your power this time.  Or perhaps now you know that this is what you need to work on before your next relationship.

You might know a particular relationship is not healthy for you, but need to go thorough it one more time to gain the strength and clarity you need to move on.

The faster you recognize how you've grown and realize your needs have changed, the sooner you can move on.  Certain souls are attracted to eachother for a reason.  Like also attracts like and if you learn the lessons your soul agreed to, your next relationship will start from a more evolved place.

If you are having trouble letting go of the relationship with your ex, or you are still feeling victimized by your last employer and you really want to move forward, here are a few solutions that can help:

Give yourself time. It's good to mourn the end of the relationship. Whether you were together for a few months or you lived together for years, you have the right to your emotions as complicated as they feel.   

• Use this time to reflect. Write down your feelings in a journal and get in touch with why you're feeling that way, really.  Let yourself cry in bed all day if you need to.

Remind yourself why the relationship is over. It's natural for you to long for your ex and to wish he/she was still by your side--after all, you're used to having them around, even if it wasn't comforting all of the time. But its important that you stay strong and remind yourself why the relationship is over.

• Though it may hurt, try thinking of a moment when you were deeply unhappy in the relationship. Write it on an index card or save it on your phone and and carry it around with you. Look at it whenever you're regretting your decision or wondering why you and your ex aren't together anymore.

 

Stop communicating with your ex. Stop calling or texting unless it is absolutely necessary.  If so, make it minimal.  Don't try to have an awkward, mature lunch with your ex once a week when it's over. Though you may be able to be friends with your ex eventually, it needs to be after you have learned to be separate. The potential for damage at this point is great. 

 

 

• If you need to stop hanging out with your mutual friends for a while, do so. If you really want to see them, hang out with them by making special plans. You're not being cowardly by doing this--you're protecting yourself. Find new social places to hang out--there are plenty of  restaurants, parks, clubs to check out that don't have any emotional baggage.


• If you run into your ex, you don't have to run in the other direction. Be mature and say hello, but you don't need to stop to have a painful conversation.

• Don't get on social media again until the thought of seeing your ex's photo doesn't make you feel an intense spectrum of emotions.

• If you have a few things that belong to your ex-- sweatshirts, books, electronics--return them immediately. Have a friend drop them off for you to minimize the pain.

Dissolve the cords between you.   

They need to be dissolved, not cut, so that you can separate yourself energetically.  This is soooo important!   (If you need help, I can guide you through this process.)  

 

 

Remodel, redecorate, make your place your own. Especially if you had been living together, get rid of old things - even if they don't remind you of your ex. Move your furniture around, and add some plants for peace and decoration and . Do whatever you have to do to make your space feel new. It's important and healthy to try not to keep too many things from your lives together.[3] 

 

 

Take a mini-vacation.   

                

 

          

 

Find Peace on your own.

• Take walks a few times a week. Connect with nature by exploring local parks or lakes.
• Read. Get lost in a book and spend hours reading with a cup of tea.
• Write. Write in your journal, or try writing about what you want to manifest in the future, be it a relationship, a place you would like to live, a trip...Explore what will make you happy by visualizing it.   See what you can learn about yourself just by just being.

 

 

Enjoy being single for now.                                                                                                          Don't look for the next rebound opportunity when you break up. Instead, take the time to enjoy being single and doing whatever you want whenever you want to

If you have tried some or all of the above suggestions and are still finding yourself in pain, I can help you long distance or in person with intuitive counseling and more important, I can clear any remaining feelings of being victimized, hurt, traumatized by that person or the relationship ending. 

I can help you understand the lessons your soul agreed to with this person and then I will energetically dissolve any remaining difficulty you have in letting go of a relationship you know is over but you are having trouble getting past.  The same applies to all challenging relationships.

If you still have a lot of emotional charge when you think about that person(s), I will shift you from a place of charge to a place of neutrality quickly and easily.  You will feel a deep sense of relief and lasting peace which will help you feel grateful for what you are taking with you from that relationship.

Best of all, you will be able to move forward with excited anticipation of what is coming next for you! 

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