Q: P'taah, I've finally found a relationship where I can have the joy and freedom of complete satisfaction, but it's bringing up all my old fears of going back to relationships that weren't like that at all.
P'taah: Beloved, you are not the same person who had those relationships beforetime. And you will not draw into your life the same, we would say, personality facets of the people with whom you were in relationship beforetime. We are speaking of course of abusive control issues. You would not bring it forth now. That is not the frequency that you are.
Q: Nevertheless, I have brought into my life a very satisfying relationship, but one that brings up other very deep-seated fears.
P'taah: Indeed. It is almost as if the tables have turned and you are perceived to be the powerful one and the one in control.
Q: Yeah, and sometimes when we face our deepest fears -- you know, I've embraced so many at a certain level, but when I get down to people talking about their real paranoias, their real natures, how they are when they are in love, or indeed, mental illness or something, these fears seem to go so much deeper than my ability just to embrace them somehow.
P'taah: They do, beloved, and you see, they are very deep and very powerful because they are issues that have never ever been addressed.
Q: For lifetimes.
P'taah: For lifetimes. Not one lifetime either.
Q: No, no, and I know how powerful the 'Baby Me' tool is as an embracement and the breathing into it when the fears come up and everything you describe as a transformation key. Nevertheless I still feel completely unable to embrace these and transform them at those deep levels and I know many other people feel the same. Could you talk on that a little bit?
P'taah: There are two things here. One is that there is nothing to fix.
Q: Okay.
P'taah: And the other is you can only deal with what is occurring in the Now moment. You see, you look at yourself and you say "Oh dear! There is still this huge morass of black roiling energy, of paranoia, of whatever it is, that has not been resolved." Then we say to you, in your day-to-day life, in your going about your usual activities, how is it? And the truth is it is very wondrous.
Q: It is.
P'taah: And so you find yourself in a relationship and the relationship brings up this and that. And it is only in that moment of recognition that you have a choice whether or not simply to go with whatever is going on or to shut down and to behave in the old patterning.
You see, in a way, all of you have this idea of perfection, of how it should be. It's almost like what you would call a cardboard cut-out of what an Enlightened Being would look like. Well, there is no such thing. You are perfect Now. You are perfect even in your fears, in your desperation, in your addictions. You are perfect. You are Expressions of Source.
And where it is that you really yearn to be all that you can be, you understand that even in these places which seem to you to be so much less than perfect, that in fact there is nothing to fix. You can kind of relax into who you are without the judgment that you are not normal, or not as everybody else thinks you should be, or not fulfilling the pattern that has been laid down in your society of what a perfect person should look like. You understand?
Q: I do, but it's also about the pain of not being in a place of joy. It's not that it's not perfect. It's that something's not right because otherwise I wouldn't be in pain.
P'taah: Indeed, beloved. It's about judgment.
Q: Okay. Yeah, I can begin to see that.
P'taah: You see, the pain is about the judgment of you not being perfect. You may say, "Well, I do not consciously think about that, about being perfect," But you see, there is a kind of imprint, if you like, and all of you are terrified of being different from that imprint, that imprint of the collective consciousness.
Sometimes we say even that those who are on the spiritual journey suffer more from this because the ideal here is that you should be Enlightened Beings. And if you are not, then there is something wrong, something not perfect about you. So you see, it is a grand dichotomy where you are judging yourself always really to be not enough. And this, of course, creates pain and the resistance to this judgment creates pain. Does that make sense?
Q: Yes. I'll have to think on it more. I mean, for me, the personal issue is that I feel that I am being dishonest but my fear is keeping me being dishonest. And yet I am not comfortable in that because I feel I am not speaking my truth. And I can't quite equate that with having a judgment that I should speak it so much as it's just an innate feeling that I want to be so, you know...
P'taah: And so what would be the truth, beloved?
Q: I don't know. (Laughs) That I would speak my truth and not be scared to.
P'taah: You see, when you look at you, you see something very different than when I look at you.
Q: Yes, yes!
P'taah: And this judgment about the fear which you say rightly keeps you from being all that you can be, because that is the nature of humanity. However, what is most important is that you can speak the truth to you. You see?
Q: Yes.
P'taah: When you can speak the truth to you, you do not have to open your mouth.
Q: Oh, that's interesting. So you're saying that if we can speak the truth to ourselves, then who we are in that moment of being able to be truthful with ourselves shines through so strongly that people get it, even if we don't say it.
P'taah: Absolutely.
Q: Interesting. Thank you, P'taah!
Relaxation & Well-Being and Abundance. The others are Meeting with Your Soul, Journey of Connectedness, Exploring beyond the Crystalline Door and the Meditation for Wellness. We think you'll love the way it feels to immerse yourself in each of these distinct but related energies. You can order them either on CD or as MP3 downloads. 
