Greetings!  

Barbara Cummins Ornament

It is the season of giving. For several years now at Christmas time, an artist living in a small town in Eastern Oregon has sent Jerry and me the most beautiful hand- painted Christmas ornaments. Pictures of horses and sleighs and sparkling churches; hummingbirds and flowers; an Indian flutist, serenading. Each is exquisite. This summer, a couple from Alabama made a trip to visit northwest sites of my stories and even made it to the opening of the Mental Health Museum where I spoke and I got to meet them. Later she sent me a hand-carved silver pendant with emblems of the Lord's Supper and a cross. She'd worn it and wanted me to have it. It's beautiful. A dragon-fly pin arrived from a colleague in Colorado who just recently quit her job to commit herself to writing that novel she's been hoping to write for years. Our Christmas tree is a gift from friends in Salem, OR who own a Christmas tree farm. They had the Turkish Fir delivered with the stand already attached along with a wreath and hand-canned jams.

These gifts and so many more reach out and touch us with the love with which they're sent. And they nudge at the "reciprocity factor" something I just learned about.

Some years ago a sociologist sent Christmas cards to total strangers. Six hundred of them, just to see what might happen. (I heard this on NPR.) The first year he received 250 cards back! Many contained personal notes about family life and even photos. He reported receiving cards for the next twenty years. The interviewer talked why he thought total strangers would send cards back to someone they didn't know? "The reciprocity factor" noted the sociologist.

We're ingrained as children with this factor I guess. It's the idea that "I cannot take without giving in return." (All these years I thought it was a Midwest thing!) But something about the human spirit makes us want to give back or we'll feel guilty just receiving. In some ways, that's a good thing because many good works have resulted from people wishing to pass on their good fortune, spread to others the gifts that have been given to them. But reciprocity factor takes "re-gifting" to a whole new level or motivation.

 Since Jerry's medical challenges we've received so many things from family, friends and neighbors. Meals, time, repairs, errand-running, prayers, cards just to name a few and there is that constant desire on my part of how to "return the favor" as "I cannot take without giving in return."

This morning in the early hours when sleep escaped me it came to me that this reciprocity factor is all wrapped up in the amazing gift of Christmas. Here came a gift in the form of the Christ-child, given without expectation of reciprocity. Jesus's arrival and the message that came with him and that he gave his life to share was all giving unwarranted and undeserved forgiveness and love. Grace. If I cannot receive a Christmas tree, an act of kindness, a beautiful Christmas ornament, a special pendant or pin however will I receive the greatest gift of all into my heart? However will any of us? Receiving grace is a practice for living out daily and all year long the message of Christmas, a message that can put an end to the reciprocity factor. The best we can hope to do is pass it along...but not out of a sense of "I cannot take without giving in return." Receive. Accept. Be.

This year, I hope that you will give as you are able of your time and treasure and talent; but also allow yourself to receive, to accept what others wish to share and thus practice receiving the most amazing gift of all.

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At the same time I'm responding to the queries I'm also re-reading and obsessing about individual word choices.  Should it be he lacked "drive "or that he lacked "ambition?  

Early endorsements also arrive during this time before the book goes to press in January for an April release.  This week I was pleased to receive words about  the novel from a favorite novelist of mine, Kathleen Ernst of the Chloe Ellefson Mystery Series that I've reviewed here. She began with "Jane Kirkpatrick has the rare ability to use what's known about  historical women as the foundation for compelling historical fiction." A second endorser is not a novelist but the best-selling author  of 13 nonfiction books  such as Pulitzer-prize finalist HotHouse , and bestseller Crazy: A Father's Search through Mental Health Madness .  He's Pete Earley and part of his endorsement includes "...Kirkpatrick gives a voice and face, not only to a heroic crusader, but also to Americans seldom seen or heard in our society -- those living with mental disorders."  Both of these endorsements hit on parts of the writing life that have special meaning for me:  bringing historical women to life and raising the awareness of needs of the mentally ill  which when they go unmet affect us all as recent tragedies can remind us. I hope to give voice to the voiceless.

Some years ago I heard Joyce Carol Oates speak about writing saying that a great novel needs three things: empathy for the characters; memorializing; and giving voice to those seldom heard. I think historical women are often voiceless and so are those who suffer from mental illness.  I'm honored that these professional colleagues found merit in the work. 

 

My November Story Sparks had a lot about caregiving. Just to update you...Jerry broke a second vertebra right after Thanksgiving. It's in an area of his back where there are previous breaks so we're awaiting some additional tests to see if that amazing kyphoplasty that helped with the first break can be done where this break is. And we're trying to find out why he keeps breaking bones for no good reason. Caregiving continues. 

 But I have a good model in our Cavalier King Charles Spaniel.  We have a bell on the door that the dogs can ring if they want to go outside.  Bo, the Griffon rarely uses it preferring to scratch on the door instead; but Caesar uses it all the time.  He rings it if he wants my attention in addition to wanting to go outside. 

 Recently I realized he also rings it when he thinks  Bo wants to come inside!  Caesar goes to the door, rings the bell and when I open the door in rushes Bo which is all Caesar wanted.  "A little caregiver," my friend Sandy noted. He also lies on the bed next to Jerry and makes sure he knows where everyone is in the house. Yet he still finds time to chew his favorite toy. He's a good reminder to take care of oneself while taking care of others. This is a season when we can choose to take time to appreciate the simple things, worry less about getting things right, and remember to take care of each other.

Jerry and I send prayers to all the survivors and their families of the Clackamas Town Center shootings and the terrible tragedy in Connecticut. Having lost a child we hold close those parents whose journey of mourning and grief has just begun and ask that the love of Jesus and this season will bring them one day again the awe, wonder and joy of the very first Christmas. We wish that for you as well.