Relationships may be almost as important in our lives as the air we breathe. By our very nature we are social beings. Having relationships is critical to our overall health. Studies have shown that infants die if they are not held. Even abused children have a better chance in life than children who were totally abandoned. We all need human interaction on some level.

Since Valentine's Day falls in February, it seems to be the time to celebrate loving others. It might also be a good time to show the love we feel for our friends and family in a more demonstrative way than with mere cards, flowers and candy. Making an effort to acknowledge those we cherish and to take some time to better understand and connect with them, might be a better gift of love than any box of chocolates.

Frequently I have couples sit in front of me who are unhappy with their partner. They are often harboring some pet peeve or criticism of the other. If face reading has taught me anything, it's that one of the greatest tragedies in relationships is our failure to see and understand the other person in the same way that they see themselves. The greatest tonic for any relationship is when we feel seen, heard and truly understood. Here are a few tips.

One evening at a party, a couple similar to the couple pictured here, sat down to have their faces read. Before I had gotten very far with their readings, the woman said, "What I want to know is what on his face tells you that he is always rudely interrupting me?" But, before I could respond to her, he blurted out,"Well, at least I'm not a constant nag. What on her face tells you that she wants to criticize and control everything I do?

I explained that as a face reader I didn't see either of those things on their faces. I knew that he did not see his interruptions as being rude and she would never see herself as nagging. People who have the same type of high ears and low eyebrow combination that he had are often prone to interrupt. They take in information so quickly and then process it so quickly that they are often having three or four brilliant (at least as they see it) thoughts while they are waiting for their turn to speak. Unfortunately, they may lose those wonderful thoughts if they are forced to put them on hold as even more wonderful thoughts crowd in.

Their interruptions are not rudeness in their eyes but rather a desire to participate and make a valuable contribution. They interrupt because from their personal experience they know something important may get lost if they don't blurt it out when they think it. It also may not feel like interrupting to them because they may think that they already know what the other person is going to say. If asked, a person with the high ear and low eyebrow combination may view their interruptive conversational style as merely more efficient.

In response to his question I explained that people with angled eyebrows, like hers (which I call "don't jack with me eyebrows") are often people who like to remain in control. But it is unfair to call their advice nagging. Their approach is to step back and mentally take everything into perspective to see what needs to be done. However, when they see something that needs doing they may also feel a need to mention it. From their point of view they may feel that if they don't say something, then if what they noticed does not get done it will be their fault for not bringing it up. They see their actions as trying to be helpful.

Complaining about our partner's interactive style is seldom helpful and almost never produces a positive result. Let's face it we can't change the other person, we can only change ourselves. The greatest changes come when we understand our partners on a deeper level.  For example, instead of becoming angry or critical when feeling interrupted, we could acknowledge and value our partner for their desire to contribute. Or, instead of labeling a partner as nagging to instead see that there is a true desire to be helpful. The paradox is that when we can step away from our personal judgments and instead see the other person as they see themselves, they become the person we are seeing rather than the person that we were complaining about.

Perhaps you consider yourself a romantic. Maybe Valentine's Day is one of your favorite days in the whole year. Or you may fall at the other end of the spectrum and care little for hearts and flowers. Regardless of where you put yourself on the continuum, the fact remains that humans are social beings. We all need other people in our lives for companionship, perspective and personal growth.

It has been said that wisdom comes with age. My good friend, Oletha, who just turned 101, proves that point. She recounted a piece of relationship advice that her mother gave her when she was just a young girl. She said that when she was having a complaint about someone her Mama would tell her, "Sis, it takes all kinds to make a world." Face reading makes us aware that no two people look alike. On a deeper, personal level we are all unique. We differ not just in our appearance but also in our thoughts, feelings, attitudes, preferences, beliefs, and even our degree of life awareness.  When we can accept those differences in others, we make room for all kinds of people and in the process we make a little more room for ourselves.

I know I have encouraged you time and time again to connect better with every person you meet by reading their face and understanding them. Accepting that special someone in your life just as they are, might be the best Valentine's gift you could ever give them. Try it and see.