WHAT YOU PRACTICE BECOMES STRONGER
|
In music, we know that if we want to learn a new song, we need to practice it. And, if we make a mistake, we try not to keep playing it wrong. We pay attention to the part that is giving us trouble, break it down, and practice playing it correctly. Then we put it back to together.
We do the same thing in sports or exercise. We practice lifting weights using correct form, and we get stronger and do not injure ourselves.
For some reason, this idea seems to break down when it comes to our emotional lives. We don't seem to notice or be able to control our thoughts, and so we keep practicing negative thinking. I have had coaching clients who say things like: "I will never get a decent job." "I am cynical." "I can't focus."
I hear them say out loud and to themselves statements that are not helpful and that seem to reinforce their sadness. Researchers are discovering that, "What you practice becomes stronger." If I keep telling myself that I don't have skills, then I start to believe myself. I have a hard time noticing the skills that I do have. I belittle my strengths and think that no one will be interested in what I have to offer. It then becomes challenging to get out of the hole in which I have put myself.
Meditation teachers suggest, "Don't believe your thoughts." What if my client didn't believe that she can't focus. Then perhaps she would figure out ways to try something different. She would practice doing one thing at a time for five minutes and see how that goes. After practicing that many times, she would increase the time to 10 minutes. In other words, she would do the same thing she would do if she were building physical muscles. Except this time, she is building mental muscles.
To continue reading this story click: What You Practice Becomes Stronger
|