By Seamus Parfrey
Joke 1:
The young accounting graduate, fresh out of college and of course knowing everything, applied for his first job.
The prospective employer asked him what starting salary he was looking for. "Oh, around €50,000 a year, depending on the benefits package."
"Well, how does this sound?" said the employer. "Five weeks annual leave, €80,000 salary with 20% performance bonus, paid expenses to overseas conferences every year, home telephone and mobile reimbursed and a company car replaced every 20,000 miles, say a Mercedes convertible."
The graduate sat up straight and tried not to look excited. "Wow. Are you kidding?"
"Yeah. But you started it."
Joke 2:
A fellow has been learning to be a balloonist and takes his first solo flight. Unfortunately the wind gets up, he is blown off course and is forced to land. He is in a field close to a road but has no idea where he is. He sees a car coming along the road and hails it. The driver gets out and the balloonist says, "Can you tell me where I am?'.
"Yes, of course", says the driver. "You have just landed in your balloon and with this wind you have obviously been blown off course. You are in the on Jim Murphy's farm, 12.5 miles from Macroom. Jim will be plowing the field next week and sowing wheat. There is a bull in the field. It is behind you and about to attack you."
At that moment the bull reaches the balloonist and tosses him over the fence. Luckily he is unhurt. He gets up, dusts himself off and says to the driver, "I see you're an accountant".
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