By Seamus Parfrey
A young accountant, straight out of college, applies for a job advertised in the Irish Examiner. He is interviewed by the owner of a small business who has built it up from scratch.
"I need someone with an accounting degree," says the man, "but mainly I'm looking for someone to do my worrying for me."
"How do you mean?" says the accountant.
"I have lots of things to worry about, but I want someone else to worry about money matters."
"OK," says the accountant. "How much are you offering?"
"You can start on fifty thousand," says the owner.
"Fifty thousand euro!. How can a business like this afford to pay so much?"
"That," says the owner, "is your first worry."
An accountant for a manufacturing group was concerned about anomalies in stock levels. He thought someone might be pinching stock but he couldn't prove it. He had his eye on one shifty-looking individual who every day drove his old truck out of the factory with the load covered by a tarpaulin.