December 2015

Tip of the Month.......

 
Do You Want To Learn About Canadian Christmas?

Please check out this video:

Twelve Days of Christmas

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 Here is some Holiday Humor that you may not have heard:

The Santa Claus at the mall was very surprised when a young lady about twenty years old walked up and sat on his lap.

Santa doesn't usually take requests from adults, but she smiled very nicely at him, so he asked her, "What do you want for Christmas?"

"Something for my mother, please." said the young lady.

"Something for your mother? Well, that's very thoughtful of you,'' smiled Santa. "What do you want me to bring her? "

Without blinking she replied, "A son-in-law!"
 
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On the same Topic:

Why are Men Like Christmas Trees?

For the past thirty years, our family has the same tradition.

 We go on a road trip, to a tree farm. There we spend hours looking for the "perfect tree" so we can have the "perfect Christmas". We would get cold and tired. Mother would insist that we need the "perfect tree".

One year my sister got angry and said: "Mom, you need a reality check. The perfect tree does not exist. Looking for a tree is like looking for a man.

Be happy that you do not find one that is dead, has too many bald spots and is straight!"

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Christmas VS Hannuka
Now, if anyone asks you what the difference is between Christmas and Hanuka, you will know what and how to answer!

1. Christmas is one day, same day every year, December 25.
Jews also love December 25th. It's another paid day off work. Go to movies and out for Chinese food and Israeli dancing. Hanuka is 8 days. It starts the evening of the 24th of Kislev, whenever that falls. No one is ever sure.
 
2. There is only one way to spell Christmas.
No one can decide how to spell Chanukah, Chanukkah, Chanukka, Channukah, Hanukah, Hannukah, etc.

3. Christmas is a time of great pressure for husbands and boyfriends. Their partners expect special gifts.
Jewish men are relieved of that burden. No one expects a diamond ring on Hannukah.

4. Christmas brings enormous electric bills. Candles are used for Hanukkah.
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Some New Year's Thoughts:
     
What Does it Mean If You Were Born In September?
That your parents started the new year with a BANG!

Youth is When You're Allowed to Stay Up For New Years.
Middle age is when you're forced to.

What Do You Call Wanting a Date for New Years Eve?
Social Security

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Newman Tools Wishes Everyone a Happy Holiday Season

Have a Great and Healthy 2016!!!