These jokes were kindly donated by J. Irani, who will receive the Newman Tools Swiss Army knife for her contribution to this month's newsletter.
A Couple of Sleepy Stories.....
Tom, Dick and Harry
The teacher asked Tom, "What do you think of your father?"
Tom said, "My dad is a hero - a horse ran loose down the High Street; he caught it, calmed it down and saved people from being injured, so my dad is a hero."
The teacher asked Dick, "What do you think of your father?"
Dick said, "My dad is a hero - a woman was drowning in the river; my dad dived in, gave her the kiss of life and saved her. So my dad is also a hero."
The teacher said to Harry, "What do you think of your Father?"
Harry said, "I have got to admit that my dad is a coward. Last weekend when my mother went to stay at her sisters, my dad was so frightened that he had to get the lady in from next door to sleep with him."
Why I Mow Grass
A married man, was at his home in Dallas, Texas mowing his front lawn, as he always did. A lady driving by in a big, shiny Cadillac stopped in front of his house, lowered the window and asked, "Excuse me, do you speak English?"
He responded, "Yes Ma'am, I do."
The lady then asked, "What do you charge to do yard work?"
The man said, "Well, the lady in this house lets me sleep with her."
The lady hurriedly put the car into gear and sped off. 
