There are moments when caregiving can feel so unbearable. When going without another night's sleep will just take you to the edge of tears and fears. When a nurse asks you a question about your loved one and you have no idea how to answer it. When a family member is ignoring your pleas for help. You ask yourself, "Will this ever end?"

Recently, Maryanne Fisher from Arden Courts in Palm Harbor had invited me to speak at one of her quarterly Caregiver events. We had planned for me to speak on How to be a Holistic Caregiver; which was a very popular subject.  Before the crowd came into the Community Room I had my Sacred Space displayed. I had my stones in place. I had my aromatherapy filling the room to bring calmness. I even had soft music playing while the caregivers entered the room. I was all set.

But something interesting happened as soon as the presentation began. I was feeling the energy in the room shift from noisy to restless. It was if their curiosity of the topic was lessening and their desire to share their concerns and questions was strengthening.

Maybe it was Maryanne and my intuition, but we both told the group that this is no longer a stand-up-in-front-of-the-crowd presentation; it is now a conversation and they can ask me anything they want. They loved it. Their reaction was energetic, open and supportive of each other. 

As a caregiver coach I was in my glory because the healing was happening exponentially without any of us forcing it to happen. It became natural and sweet. They wanted to share their concerns, frustrations, sadness and ask questions until the very last second remained. My favorite part was when one of the caregivers spoke up and helped another caregiver. This holistic presentation morphed into a giant support group with laughter, tears and honest moments.

The caregivers had these questions: 

"I visit my parents daily and they are driving me crazy with their demands." How do I handle my anger?

"My children invite me to see them but I'm not ready." How do I tell them?

"I can't bring myself to tell my mother a white-lie. How do I tell her the truth about her dementia?"

"Will I ever stop feeling guilty? It's making me depressed."

Sound familiar? 

These great questions brought great conversation. The whole crowd got involved. We exchanged ideas, advice, encouragement and empowerment. Many of the seasoned caregivers were sharing their experiences, which worked wonders. 

Specifically, we all agreed that caregiving takes a lot of twists and turns and we need to find consistent support and get rest on a 

regular basis.

Generally, we know caregiving can be a tough nut to swallow, but this is where we are in our lives. No one is forcing us to be caregivers, it's our choice, but we need help and support.

I have a few mantras that I say to myself to keep me on the positive side to caregiving:  

• Take on what I can and let go of the rest.
• Do a big deep belly breath before handling a stressful situation.
• Remind myself to be flexible; these tough moments can change in an instant.
• I want to be kind and loving.
• Setting boundaries is a way for me to honor myself.
• Make plans to do something fun today that makes me smile.

I hope you will consider all or any of these messages to create balance in your life and recharge your mind-body & spirit.

You are welcome to write me a note to Kim@thecaregiverhour.com anytime. Or call The Caregiver's Resource Helpline for help 24/7

toll-free 1-877-552-4950.

Warmly,