Everyone makes mistakes. 

There's no such thing as a perfect training or behavior modification session. Some of the best animal trainers show videos of themselves training a dog, beluga whale, or walrus and point out their training errors. 

The difference between a good behavior modification program and a bad one is the ability to spot these mistakes and correct ourselves, rather than punish the dog.

Distance affects reactivity. The closer you get to something you fear, the greater your level of stress. Once the stress reaches a certain level, the brain tells us to react in some way that increases our chance of survival, which can include avoidance . . . or aggression. The other thing the brain tells us is to stop wasting energy on non-essential functions in that moment. Like eating. Or thinking.

If your dog is exhibiting any type of avoidance or aggression in the presence of a dog, person, or other trigger, you are too close (early warning sign - your normally polite dog starts painfully ripping the treats from your hand). Anything you attempt at this level is only going to amount to temporary suppression of behavior, which is not the same as changing the underlying emotion behind the behavior.

Behavior modification happens at a distance the dog is aware of the trigger but not showing any negative reaction, often referred to asunder-threshold. If your dog reacts, MOVE. Get her out of the situation and to a distance that she can give you a behavior you can reward.

So, you don't like clickers because they seem gimmicky, and you don't want to say "Yes!" because it sounds silly. It doesn't matter what sound you use, but if you're going to be effective, you MUST have great timing. You will never have great timing with just the treat in your pocket.

The point of a clicker (or "yes!" or a click of your tongue, or whatever) is that you have a unique sound that marks the moment of your dog's brilliance. That sound has been consistently paired with rewards so that the moment your dog hears it, the reward centers of the brain start churning out dopamine, which feels good. So, even if you are caught digging around in the pocket of your jeans for the treat, you've still captured the behavior the instant it happened, increasing the chance that your dog will do it again next time.

Why not just use "good dog/boy/girl?" Well, because it's slower but, more importantly, you probably don't give your dog a food reward after saying it, so it doesn't have the association needed to have that feel good effect. Worse, if you say "Good boy" before patting your dog on the head, which he hates, you could be using a marker that has a bad association.

Things can happen quickly with a reactive dog and if you don't instantly capture that brilliant moment your dog looks at you the moment he spots a new dog, you're going to end up rewarding the wrong thing.

Reinforcement breaks down when people don't reward the dog for NOT doing bad behavior to begin with. I see so many dog owners out walking their dogs, completely oblivious to the fact that their dog is looking up at them, seeking some form of feedback. 

What does all this have to do with being stingy? Well, if you're only looking for perfect behavior, you're missing opportunities to reward less-than-perfect-but-still-better-than-aggressive behaviors your dog might be displaying.

Dog owners should look for two things:

• Behaviors which are incompatible with the unwanted behavior (differential reinforcement of incompatible behavior - DRI). For example, looking at you is incompatible with biting a passerby. Your dog can't do both at the same time.  
• Behaviors which are different than the unwanted behavior (differential reinforcement of other behavior - DRO). An example would be looking at another dog without barking. While your dog could bark, he's not doing so in that moment.

Now, technically, your dog biting YOU in the leg would be incompatible with biting a passerby in the leg. That's why an important part of behavior modification is teaching the dog a variety of behaviors we like BEFORE we head out in search of strange dogs or people.

The higher the rate of reward, the faster your dog will start to form a pleasant association to the presence of strange dogs or people. Stingy rewards result in stingy behaviors.

Your dog is doing really well watching kids in the playground across the street, giving you all sorts of good behaviors you can reward. So, you've decided you're ready to invite your neighbor and her three dog-loving children to your 800 square foot house for a play date to see how he does.

Dogs DO NOT need contact with the thing they fear in order for it to be a positive experience.

Dogs DO NOT need contact for socialization to occur.

Think of your favorite coworker. Do they hug you a lot? Snuggle up to you during meetings? Of course not! Positive associations can be formed without any physical contact at all.

Fifteen years ago, having a stranger feed a fearful dog was considered a good, positive approach to desensitization. However, we've discovered over the years that if a dog isn't ready to approach a person on their own, the treat is only going to mask the fear.

  Once the treat is gone, the dog is now much closer to the person than they are comfortable with. Depending on the dog, they may decide the best way to get distance is to use aggressive behavior. 

A far better approach is to start with the fearful dog at a distance from the stranger (and contact prevented by a leash or other management tool), with the owner dispensing all the treat rewards, just as we you do with a dog that was reactive to strange dogs on walks. This way, the dog is exposed to the new person, but at a distance that is safe for both dog and people.

Three seconds. That's the maximum amount of time that should be permitted for a dog to interact with a new dog or new person before calling them away. 

"1 - 2 - 3 - Rex, come!"

That's because three seconds seems to be just about right for a dog that is uncertain when interacting, but it's also not enough time for a person or dog to behave in a way that could trigger a reaction in the dog. 

A first meeting might consist of a dozen 3-second encounters, or it might consist of two. It all depends on the dog and the person or dog at the other end of the meeting.

First meetings are important, especially in behavior modification. When things are going well, it can be tempting to keep going and "see how he does," which is how many bites happen and fights start. Better the first meeting be a positive 3-second experience than a longer experience which only ends up reinforcing your dog's negative association to people or dogs.

You have permission to be rude. To turn your back on a perfectly nice person and walk away without a word. Why? Because every second you spend trying to explain to a well-meaning dog lover why your dog doesn't like their dog or doesn't want to be pet allows that person to get closer and closer.

It is better to be rude and forgotten five minutes later by a stranger than to be paying their dog's vet bills or explaining to animal control why your dog just bit someone.

Fine. You can't be rude? Here's one approach I teach clients which allows you to give your polite explanation, but gives your dog the distance he needs to feel safe.  It also turns the sharp, pointy end toward you, just in case.

Dogs Love Me: Protecting Your Dog  From Well-Meaning Dog Lovers

While ideas like the Yellow Dog Project are admirable, we're still trying to teach people not to leave their dogs in the car on hot summer days while they shop at the mall, so it's going to be a while before this becomes common knowledge.  In the meantime, you're still stuck with trying to explain to someone what the ribbon means.  Better to give your explanations over your shoulder or not at all.

If your dog is reacting in a way you don't like, he's telling you something.  He's telling you that the environment or situation you have him in is too much, that he doesn't know how to handle it.  LISTEN to what his behavior is telling you, then stop putting him in those situations where he feels the need to either escape or defend himself.  That's not training.  Training is about preparing your dog for those situations, teaching him behaviors that help him cope.  If he's relying on escape or aggression, that means he is not prepared. 

It is your job as his owner, his guardian, his leader, or whatever you choose to call yourself, it is your responsibility to keep him safe.  When he reacts with fear or aggression, that means that you set him up to fail.  Listen to your dog.  If you don't, he's going to resort to instinctive behaviors designed to keep him safe.