March 2015
       Vol 8, Issue 3    
Creative Coaching Group
 the Creative Coaching Group newsletter


It has been a rocky first quarter of 2015 with a barrage of challenges shaking my foundation and that of my friends and clients' lives and businesses. Parents passing away, illness and injury setbacks, relationship breakdowns, near-bankruptcies - 2015 has seen it all. (and it's only March!)


How easily do you recover when your world is turned upside down? Developing the critical skill of resiliency is a pivotal way to recover and recalibrate when ones foundation is rattled. Learn 3 key steps to developing resiliency in my feature article below.  If you need some extra support right now getting back on track, maybe it's the right time for some one-on-one coaching. Give me a call! 




  Jan Carley BA, CEC, PCC  

  Professional Certified Executive Coach   

  Creative Coaching Group 

Feature Article: *#%! Happens - How to Develop Resiliency 

We all have *#%! happen in our lives. Sometimes the disasters come one at a time; sometimes they seem to all land at once. Sometimes it's just a long period of nothing quite working out.The critical skill of resiliency (how we recover from the setbacks and knockdowns), will determine how easily we move through our life challenges and thrive again.  


Resiliency has become a hot topic these days as more and more of us face challenges of big proportion in our business and personal lives.  RQ (Resilience Quotient) is a term coined by psychologists Jane Clarke and John Nicholson to measure your resilience level (using psychometric testing) just as IQ measures your intelligence level. There are a host of free assessments online to measure your RQ. The good news says Clarke is that everyone can boost their RQ and resilience is a skill that one can learn. Building resiliency will positively affect both your personal well being and your personal and your business success.


3 Key Steps to Developing Resiliency



When you get hit with a crisis, disaster, or setback, it is important to give yourself the space to openly acknowledge and allow full expression of the feelings you are experiencing. Whatever the reasons for your knockdown - big or small - if you attempt to avoid your feelings they become amplified and can accelerate a further downward spiral and hamper your resiliency. Actively build some 'quiet' moments into your schedule to give space to feel and process your changing or potentially conflicting emotions that arise at different times of the day or week. Journal about your feelings. Share your feelings. Allow yourself full expression of whatever emotions your feel.  


A friend said something very wise to me the other day after I apologized to her for still being upset, 2 months after my mom's passing. She said "Hey, however long you want to talk about your mom and have it be all about you is perfectly fine." She gave me permission and space to grieve.  Have you given yourself permission to grieve your setback? Or do you think you should be 'over it' by now? There is no right or wrong way to deal with your feelings, not any prescribed time frame. Deal with your challenges how you need to. Don't deny. There is a difference between denial and transcendence.




Think of your Resiliency Capacity as a Bank Account - your RBA. How full is it? What is your Resiliency Bank Balance? Is it depleted? Overdrawn? Make a conscious effort to restore and replenish your RBA on an ongoing basis so it is full when you need to draw on it.  



How to Fill your RBA:

  • Put on your own oxygen mask: Make self-value an integral and non-negotiable part of your life. Positive thoughts, sleep, exercise, nutrition - you know the drill.  You have much more capacity to rebound when you fill your RBA by making a practice of consciously and consistently valuing your physical, mental and emotional needs.
  • Remind yourself of who you are: Your unique strengths, your brilliance, your values are the constant wealth in your RBA to draw on whenever you feel the need.
  • Acknowledge your supports: Who in your life strengthens your RBA? How can you reach out to them? Who gives you the kind of support you want? Accept that everyone cannot give you everything, yet each support can contribute in their unique way. 
  • Daily Small Comforts: Find the little things that might make the most difference for you in this period and give you the energy and resiliency to look forward again. Give yourself some daily consistency that is immovable. For example, when my client was struggling with the stresses of taking care of her parent in hospice, she gained strength by a morning ritual of visiting Starbucks for a bagel and coffee. That 'constant' routine gave her a solid start of normalcy and calm to begin each day of parent-care. Having some 'small comforts' give you a sense of structure and control and add to your RBA.
  • Develop a Gratitude attitude: Beef up your RBA daily by adopting a Gratitude attitude for everything in your life. If you have lost a loved one, remember their life and the good times you shared. Celebrate rather than shoving the memories away. If you have had a business setback, remember and celebrate your past successes and acknowledge the elements that contributed to those successes. Notice the small things and bless them daily.


Perspective: All of us get knocked down to varying degrees at some point in our lives.  As the *#$! is swirling around you it is easy to lose perspective. Is everything messed up? Or - when you take a breath and look at your life, is it mostly OK? What do you know you can hang onto? One of my coaching clients had a rough run with her business - an entrepreneur; she went from one setback and crippling challenge to another. An incredibly resilient businesswoman, she gained great strength by recalling past successes and storms she had weathered. That reminded her that she was successful and that current setbacks did not define her, nor would they destroy her. Her vision was intact. Perspective gave her the strength and power to continue.

Hold to Purpose: When you are ready, revisit your vision - your 'Big Picture'- your 'purpose' in life - and know that although the circumstances for your knockdown might feel out of your control, making the choice to build on that experience to move forward in a new way is in your control.  Move forward in the way you want, and in the time frame you want.  You are the only thinker in your own mind. Turn your focus to where you want to go. What future state (emotional, mental or physical) do you want to create? If you are open to stepping into an expanded identity and adapting to a different plan, you can use the energy of the knockdown and lessons learned to spring you upward again. The choice is yours and the timing is yours.



Book -  Resilience: Bounce Back from Whatever Life Throws at You , by Jane Clarke and Dr. John Nicholson (Crimson Publishing January 2010)

Book -  How Absorbent are your Shocks? by Marilyn Orr - A practical workbook by a coach colleague of mine that will help guide and inspire you through the process of developing resiliency. Available through     

Lightbulb of the Month 
blue bulb"Be like the bird that, passing on her flight awhile on boughs too slight, feels them give way beneath her, and yet sings, knowing that she hath wings."  - Victor Hugo, Writer
Individual Coaching with Jan - Spots now available

Jan Carley square Did you start 2015 with zeal but are now feeling blah? Are you overwhelmed or been hit by one too many challenges? Temporarily off track and needing some support to get back on track and rediscover your Mojo?  


Now is your opportunity to experience the transformational process of one on one coaching. I have a few slots available this spring and summer for individuals wanting to make a change in their lives.  


Contact Jan for a Free 30 minute coaching consultation to see if coaching is a fit for you right now.   email:   

About Jan Carley  

Jan Carley is a Professional Certified Executive Coach credentialed with the International Coach Federation. Known as a high-performance catalyst, Jan specializes in coaching individuals and teams to focus and clarify their vision and leverage their signature strengths to open possibilities and maximize their performance potential. 3rd edition of Jan's book Jan's book, Harmony from the Inside Out, has been acclaimed worldwide and is now in its 3rd printing. Jan is Associate Faculty of the renowned Royal Roads University Executive Coaching Program, a Professional Mentor coach and a certified facilitator of the Strength Deployment Inventory .  
Jan lives in Vancouver, BC, Canada, and is available for individual & team coaching, workshops and speaking engagements worldwide. PCC logo

Contact Jan at 604 873-1763    email:    

Quick Links
Jan' Coaching Company Creative Coaching Group
Jan's work with BarbershoppersInner Coach of Barbershop
Jan's popular bookHarmony From the Inside Out
If you would like to reprint any part of this ezine in your blog or newsletter, please feel free to do so as long as you include the following credit information: Jan Carley inspires possibilities and leverages peak performance by coaching from the "inside out." Sign up to receive her free 15 page report, 5 Ways to Instantly Focus for Harmony and Success, and receive a free subscription to Jan's monthly coaching e-newsletter, LIGHT ON THE SUBJECT.   Creative Coaching Group
copyright 2015. All rights reserved