A wise job counselor I went to in the 90's made a comment that helped me understand why I was never really satisfied at the successes I had achieved in my life to date. After doing several assessments designed to help me find the career that would ultimately fulfill me, he leaned back in his chair and said that I had to understand that I was playing on a longer than average football field. When asked what he meant, he said: "a normal US football field is 100 yards....for whatever reason, you have decided that you are playing on let's say a 150 yard field. So that means that when, by the actual rules of the game, you get a touchdown, you think you still have 50 more yards to go in order to score."
His comment formed the basis of a concept I developed called the "FOOTBALL FIELD PRINCIPLE" that centers on the effects of connecting our 'wins' with a self-imposed standard that affects our self-worth. There is a point where obsession with high-achievement (a longer than regulation football field) gets in our way of our happiness, joy, learning and ultimately, our life success.
The upside to having a long football field is that you are highly motivated and driven to achieve more. You keep on running, driving and forging ahead because you haven't yet crossed the elusive 'goal line'. You tend to go further, and achieve more and rarely rest on your laurels because there is still more yardage to cover.
The downside to having an extra long football field is that you never celebrate the touchdowns you do achieve...because you think you still have several yards to run. You never think you have fully succeeded. Spending your life thinking that there is something else you have to achieve in order to "make it" or living for the next 'better' result has a direct impact on your ability to be content and living in the present moment. Not being able to ever achieve your own personal touchdowns robs you of peace and contentment and rightful celebration of those victories you do have.
Not only does your longer-than-average football field affect you, it may also be affecting how you think of others. You might even project an intimidating aura to others causing them to think "oh, I could never live up to her standards".
Let me clear - in no way am I espousing mediocrity- yet I am concerned how the setting of too high standards and consistent play on an elongated football field can impact your joy and stress levels.
5 Steps to Effectively Managing Your Long Football Field
Become Aware
First you must identify the length of your field - if a normal US football field is 100 yards, how long is yours? 150 yards? 200 yards? Or is it perhaps so long you can't even see the goal posts?
Become aware of how the length of your football field affects you and plays out in your life. Do you have difficulty celebrating your successes and achievements? Do you denigrate your accomplishments by focusing on what you haven't yet done? How does your oversized football field impact those around you? Your staff, your kids, your friends. Awareness (without self-judgment) is the first step to any kind of meaningful change.
Be Open to Flexing your Vision
Creating a vision - a magnificent picture of what could be- is a good thing. When you start to do the work to live into that vision (and it does take work), the journey rarely is a straight path, nor is there one way to reach that shimmering picture. To hold off on celebration of acknowledgment until some elusive 'end' is reached is cheating yourself of the joy of the journey. A vision is not a single touchdown. It is always evolving, shifting and growing - that's what makes it vibrant and enduring. A vision is something you work toward, a changing picture - not a fixed place that you arrive at. As you journey toward your vision you necessarily achieve several touchdowns. The 'downs' achieved enroute to the final 'touchdown' are the journey.
Challenge your Touchdown Definition
A touchdown doesn't need to be of Nobel Prize winning magnitude. It can be a personal triumph like finishing a 5 mile run or as simple as getting the kids off to school with their lunches and homework intact...or perhaps the ongoing daily triumphs you experience as a teacher inspiring your students, or a singer moving your audience. I challenge you to rethink your idea of what a touchdown is. Is it possible that the daily smaller increments are touchdowns?
Celebrate your Touchdowns
Celebrate all of your touchdowns (and those of your friends and colleagues) when they occur - celebrate fully and wholly. Is there some part of your life in which you are not celebrating the many things that you have already achieved? Click here for your pdf touchdown list to remember the touchdowns you have experienced throughout your life. Remind yourself of your touchdowns on a regular basis.
Allow Someone Else to Carry the Ball Now and Then
It's okay (and even necessary) for your teammates to carry the ball now and then. You need support to be able to keep running. Develop compassion and an understanding for yourself when you drop a pass (because you will). Consider it a touchdown to pick the ball back up again. Remember, life is a team sport.
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