Ahhh... hitting the Sweet Spot!
Those familiar with racquet sports or golf will know what that means. If the ball connects with the sweet spot of a racquet, bat or golf club, it flies further with seemingly less effort. The sweet spot is the place where a combination of factors results in a maximum response for the amount of effort expended.
I believe we all have a personal sweet spot. That place where we feel our best self and get our greatest results with ease. When passion meets talent and we are doing that which feels natural and aligned with who we are. American philosopher David Spangler describes this sweet spot state as a state of mind in which we experience the most joy and satisfaction in being ourselves and from that place of pleasure and joy in simply being ourselves, energy arises and flows.
Our sweet spot is when we can do our best work, and contribute the most. It's that place or feeling of ease, of rightness of BEING, of being in the effortless present. 1
3 Steps to Living in your Sweet Spot
Step 1 Discovering your Sweet Spot
Discovering your sweet spot is not just about finding what you love to do - it's in defining how you feel when you are doing what you love to do. It's about discovering how you are Being, while in the Doing. Have I lost you? Even more confusing is the concept that when you are in your sweet spot, you almost feel an absence of anything else - the struggle is gone; you feel a sense of calm, of ease, of flow.
Discovering our personal sweet spot first takes some reflection in a three-part exercise. Let's give it a whirl. Grab a piece of paper and follow along:
Part 1: Make a list of the activities, experiences, moments or times where you feel the most joy, effortlessness, passion, presence. (in business, play time, in relationships)
Part 2: Now, identify how you are being in those activities
E.g. / My answer in Part 1 would be Coaching. Then I go even deeper and analyze what activities in my coaching biz feel like I am in my sweet spot. E.g. / the systems/business part -not so much - but the inspiring, leading, supporting - those are definitely my business sweet spot activities. Then I take this further - how I am being while I am in that personal sweet spot of inspiring and leading (E.g./ I am fun, open, without holdbacks, confident, compassionate etc.)
Your sweet spot might shift in other relationships or activities - however, once you drill it down you will notice consistencies with the types of activities, situations, relationships that bring you value and that allow you to bring your best self to the table easily, effortlessly, and with appreciation.
Part 3: Check the commonality of Part 1 and Part 2 in the different areas of your life - that's your sweet spot.
I was coaching one of my highly driven entrepreneurial clients (let's call her Sue) the other day and she identified her sweet spot in business as that place where she can be creative, innovative and energetic and create 2-way connections with her staff (rather than when she has to step into a top-down managerial way of being). It was no accident that her sweet spot in her personal relationships held many of the same elements - creative, connecting and energetic. Her challenge for 2014 was to work on how she can stay in her identified Sweet Spot more often.
Step 2 Expanding your Sweet Spot
Celebration: Recognize your sweet spot and celebrate when you are in it. If that's too difficult - do it in the reverse. Make a note of the times when you are definitely NOT in your sweet spot. Be sure to note WHY it feels that way. Then, flip that over to identify what it might feel like to be in your sweet spot and then begin recognizing when you are in that place. Express gratitude every time you experience your sweet spot. Where thought goes, energy flows.
Exploration: Write a list of those common characteristics you identified of the times when you are in your sweet spot and hold those in your life vision. Think of the ways you might be able to express that commonality more consistently or frequently in all parts of your daily life.
Grow it: Seek new places for your sweet spot to show up. Be open to trying new experiences and new things to see how they feel for you. To see if they fit. Write a list of those things that you would like to do - challenge yourself to try them out.
Step 3 Staying in your Sweet Spot
Take Charge: It isn't practically possible to stay in ones sweet spot all the time. Although there may not be a magic formula to vault you into your sweet spot without having to go through work to get there, once you are aware of where you are headed it will make the discomfort or challenge of getting there worthwhile. Embrace that discomfort as it can lead you to the place where you can be fully in your sweet spot.
In my coaching conversation with my client entrepreneur Sue, we discussed what was getting in the way of her working from her sweet spot more often. As CEO of her own company, she recognized that although she will have to work outside her sweet spot as required, she does have an option to hire for her gaps, and set up her biz in such a way so that she can give her sweet spot ample time to play. Her sweet spot time will feed her and accelerate the growth of her business.
Accept the Sweet Spot Stoppers:There are countless daily Sweet Stop Stoppers that can take you out of your sweet spot. They may be situations that are not aligned with your core values, places or relationships where you don't feel self-worth, having to being around negative people or in stressful situations, illness or other life challenges. If you can change any of those circumstances, do so. If not, acceptance is the key. Resist the urge to fight and therefore create an energetic struggle. Hold the Vision of your Sweet Spot strongly and clearly and know you will be back on the path as soon as you are possibly able. Make that commitment to yourself.
1 A term coined by Roland Permutter, Neuroradiologist at Duke Medical Centre
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