My computer finally melted down last month. It had been limping along for a year and my computer repair guy had strongly advised me to get a new computer in place before it died. (Oops!) Undaunted by this setback, I efficiently got a new computer installed in days. Unexpectedly though, my world was then turned upside down when faced with adjusting to a change in operating systems to the much-maligned Windows 8.
As I sat at my NEW computer, not even sure how to log into the new, unfamiliar and very different operating system, I could feel my anxiety level rising. It only took 30 minutes of high techno frustration until I totally fell apart and collapsed on my desk sobbing. As I sat there blubbering, it occurred to me that perhaps I wasn't crying about the new computer system at all, and that my techno frustration was the one final thing that had released all of the other stressful stuff that I hadn't cried about all year. The computer was my pine tree - the one final thing that sent me over the edge and managed to pin me to the ground.
5 Steps to Recover when you get Pinned by your Life Pine Tree
1/ ACCEPT
Don't fight it. Breathe, grieve, breathe and accept. No matter what the circumstances that led you to that overwhelmed feeling of having had the last straw, it is important to allow the feelings out - even if they seem irrational for the situation. Scream, cry, sleep, moan or get angry. Give yourself enough time to process and feel whatever you feel. When you finally get to a place of calm acceptance and are ready to move on, take a few deep belly breaths to re-center and continue to Step 2.
2/ ASSESS
Take a step back from the immediacy of your condition and allow some perspective. Look at what led up to the meltdown. Look at the series of events that contributed to your current state. Assess where you are right now and define what is bothering you the most.
What is most important in this situation? What, if changed, would make the most difference to your situation?
3/ DECIDE
Make sure you are finished with Steps 1 and 2 and that you are ready to shift from the slammed and helpless state you are in. Step 3 starts to move the energy from a reactive, helpless victim state to a proactive, design place of empowerment. When you are ready to take back control and really decide it's time to shift, go to Step 4.
4/ EXTRICATE
Here's where you get active and make a plan. By looking forward in a non-reactive headspace, the possibilities will begin to open for you again. Figure out what you might need to put in place to help you get out from under your pine tree. Start to make a plan by using your assessment in Step 2 and then move on with the addition of Step 5.
5/ GET SUPPORT
Getting support is the critical step to making a full recovery. You need support to get out from underneath the pine tree that has flattened you, to help you recover, heal, sustain you and build your resilience for the future trees that may fall on you. Asking for support is one of the most difficult things for a high-achiever to do. And, to put it quite simply, you must do it. If you are reading this and cringing - think about how good it makes you feel to help others who are overwhelmed. Won't they feel the same way by supporting you?
Bonus Tip: Sometimes our pine trees fall on us without warning, sometimes there are signs that we didn't notice and sometimes there are signs we noticed and decided not to heed. Without judgment, assess which scenario applies to your situation and consider the benefits of taking charge and proactively setting yourself up for success next time. Timber!
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