Answer: Yes. If you're texting, you're communicating, but you're not talking.
To be a skillful converser, you need practice with smart and skillful people.
But if you're texting or gaming, you're not talking, and without practice, your conversation skills will actually regress. In short, they'll become worse.
Here are three ways to deal with internet and technology addictions. One can cost a lot, but two of them cost little .
- The pricey one: Professional help from a psychologist who specializes in this addiction. This would be a "cognitive psychologist" whose fees would range from $150-$200 per session for a minimum of 5 sessions.
2. Withdraw into nature. Take a week at a cabin in the woods with no Wi-Fi. No laptop or tablet available for gaming. Instead, spend the time experiencing the wonders of nature. Emulate the great Henry David Thoreau by reflecting, then journaling on paper. Think things over. But also touch, smell, see, hear, and taste nature. Pick some berries. Catch a fish. Row a boat.
(If you're fortunate, you have friends or relatives who have a place they're not using for your nature week. Or you can rent one inexpensively during
the off-season.)
A mini-version would be just 2 or 3 days in a natural setting without you being "always on." Also helpful would be a "technology fast" one day each week at home, taking walks and talking without technology.
2. Join a support group. Here's a resource: www.netaddictionanon.org/ This Internet and Technology Addiction Anonymous (ITAA), a fellowship program dedicated to individuals, partners and families dealing with excessive technology use. ITAA offers hope, resources and support to persons confronting the social, economic and interpersonal problems brought about by an overuse of technology.
Just as your body requires exercise for physical health, your talking needs exercise for both social and psychological health. A full and satisfying life needs balance.
A personal note: Recently I spent a week in Hawaii to attend a wedding. During that time I didn't receive or send one email or text message. Not one. Although I am not in the "addict" group, I know I sometimes
overuse technology. Being able to see and smell the flowers (everywhere) to pick fresh limes off the tree near my door, to take beach walks in the morning and feel the sand under my feet, then to plunge into the ocean for a swim, those were all very refreshing. I experienced only slight "withdrawal symptoms" from being totally offline for 8 days.
Struggling with a spouse or a child who overuses technology? Here's a book resource that can help: "Cyber Junkie: Escape the Gaming and Internet Trap," by Kevin Roberts, 2010.
Until next week,
Loren
