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friday 
october
23             
2015
 


 
inspiration station
love how you wish to be loved

At a traffic light near Baltimore's Little Italy, there is usually a teenage boy with a Windex spray bottle in one hand and a squeegee in the other, ready and willing to wash your windshield as you wait for the light. I nod the go ahead because 1) I appreciate his tenacity to work to earn a few dollars; and 2) usually my Camaro's windshield needs a washing.

This boy's willingness to work for a buck is a different mentality than his counterparts on nearby corners standing there for hours holding cardboard signs (mentioning God and their current crucial situation), hands out, walking car to car and begging for money.

This is an observation, not a judgment.

One provides a service for your money, the other is begging for your money. And it's our choice to pay and give - or not pay and give a dollar. And that's the end of that topic.

What this reminded me of, however, was us as humans. We can stand here in life with our hands out, walking person to person, with our situations written out on our faces and hearts, and expect others to give-give-give and rescue and support us; without us choosing to give much in return. Or, we can give back, too.

Do we expect our spouses to shower us with compliments, kindness, attention and roses without ever returning the same? Do we expect our friends to come through over and over and prove the friendship, without displaying good friendship back? Do we presume our coworkers will carry the load while we sit back and play on facebook?

Are we lazy or loving?
Is it too much effort or does the loving come easily?
 
Point is, we cannot expect others to lavish upon us what we need (whatever that gift is: love, attention, time, support, care, friendship) without reciprocating in the relationship. Human interaction is a two-way street. You clean my windshield, I'll clean yours. Anything else is one-sided and unbalanced.  

On the flip side, is there someone in your life who always takes-takes-takes? (Our kids don't count! That's their right, just as we did to our parents. :-D) Admittedly, I have sacrificed friendships in my lifetime ON PURPOSE for this very reason. Have you ever done that?

In the '80s, I had a friend who took-took-took. I was a good friend to her; however, I felt that she was not a good friend to me. And so, I elected not to be her friend any longer - and I let her slip away in life. And as easily as she slipped away, proved what she might have thought of the friendship as a whole.

The small straw that broke the camel's back in that friendship was when I had lent her a beautiful Moses basket which I had used for my sleeping infants - it was a very special gift to me when I was pregnant. The basket had a beautiful delicate blue and white canopy, with a matching fabric lining. Inside was a tiny mattress covered in a white sheet. It was a lovely symbol of my precious bambini, new motherhood, and a new chapter in life with my husband, as parents together.

She borrowed the basket for her new baby and when she finally returned it (after badgering her to do so months later), the basket was in total disarray. Pieces missing, canopy broken, fabric ripped ... no regard whatsoever for the special possession that wasn't hers. No apology. No willingness to fix or replace it.

This example may seem trivial because the Moses basket is only a thing; however, to me, her action was merely another sign of the manner in which she treated the friendship. And here I am 30 years later, remembering how it felt for her disregard of the relationship - and the basket (which I still have).

What we need - we must give.

The friendship we want - is the friend we should be.

How we wish to be loved - is the way we must love.

snippeteer backtalk

 

"On the wall next to my desk I hung a quote that reads: "Know this, snippeteers ... no time period remains intact. Life keeps rolling. This, too, shall pass, and so will next week, and the next, and the year after, and the year after that. Before you know it, you're looking BACKWARDS, 10 months later, two years. And somehow it doesn't feel exasperating, painful, or frustrating any longer. You WILL get through it. You always do."  I read this every day, and take comfort in those words. Keep doing what you're doing, you inspire so many." ~ Fondly, Betty in MD

 



it's good to giggle

A nun gets into a cab and notices that the very handsome cab driver won't stop staring at her. She asks him why.

He replies, "I have a question to ask, but I don't want to offend you."

The nun answers, "My son, when you've been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say that I would find offensive."

The cabbie says, "Well then, ok. I've always had a fantasy to kiss a nun."

She responds, "Well, let's see what we can do about that. But first you have to be single and you must be Catholic."

The cab driver excitingly says, "Yes, I'm single and I'm Catholic!"

"Okay," the nun says. "Pull into the next alley."

The nun fulfills his fantasy with a kiss that would make a hooker blush. When they continue driving, the cab driver starts crying.

"My dear child," said the nun, "why are you crying?"

"Forgive me, Sister, but I have sinned. I lied and I must confess ... I'm married and I'm Jewish."

The nun says, "That's okay. My name is Kevin and I'm going to a Halloween party!"

ciao ...
until we snippet again,

suzanne molino singleton  
creator of SNIPPETS   
(since 2006) 

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books by Suzanne
   
 
A collection of reflections based on the bike section of SNIPPETS

click cover to order on amazon.com 
$7.99 paperback
$2.99 Kindle 
Little Italy book cover

A spirited history of this enduring Italian community

click cover to order on historypress.net
(also on other sites  where books are sold; $19.95 paperback. Some sites offer it lesser of retail price)