Was blessed to have time by the sea once again living in our Florida pad these last few weeks ... and biking instead of driving. Time is often my own. Hubs is here but his brain is turned into a "red stitched baseball" as he announces spring training games.

 

A younger Suzanne did not fare well with time to herself. She fought and avoided it. She feared loneliness and felt cut off. It was a jail sentence of "solitary confinement." Yet the 55-year-old Suzanne enjoys it greatly. Not 24/7, no, but often. 

 

Time to oneself can be fairly nifty. What used to feel lonely now feels peaceful. What once felt scary, now doesn't.

 

Do YOU like time alone? Why or why not?   

 

In the 13 years we have owned this Florida house, I had never stayed here alone. Snippeteer Marie once challenged me to do it. After reading something related to solo time in a previous SNIPPETS, she emailed a suggestion to try it; and promised it would be nice.    

  

So last September I did. Lived here for almost a month - alone. Just a writer, her dog and her keyboard, holed up like a writer would do in the movies, in some remote cabin in the woods, as I finished writing my Little Italy book.

 

What part about being alone is nifty? It requires zippo catering to anyone's whims, personalities, needs, preferences, desires, moods, whining, or what they want to eat. Catering to others can be draining. YOU know ... you probably do it, too. Sometimes it requires "walking on eggshells" with moody hubbies and wives, grouchy teenagers, even some friends. After years of playing chauffeur, mamma, cruise director, chef, house manager, referee, nurse, teacher, school bus, party hostess, and sex kitten, time alone ain't so bad. Many hours were spent organizing group trips, vacations, orchestrating girls nights out, and planning MANY parties to fill the house with people. Always shuffling-shuffling-shuffling the people ... in and out of the front door, basement door, sliding door, garage door. Giving parties is noisy and tedious and wonderful and fun ... all wrapped up in one.

Learning to like solitary confinement was "self-taught" ... or perhaps I should say, my kids and husband taught me how. When our babies turned into teens, I spent time waiting for them to awaken, just to be with them. When the teens turned into young adults and some no longer live at home, Mamma was solo more and more. An on-the-road Hubs during our entire married life inadvertently has taught me greater independence and self-sufficiency. Had to do what I had to do with an oft-absent husband. And when my family was around, it felt like consistent conjoling, convincing, persuading, and pleading them to spend time together - activities they didn't want to do any longer.

• let's go to the beach
• who's going to church with me today?
• want to take a walk?
• how about a movie?
• will you watch this TV show with me?
• let's have a family game night
• want to go to that wine festival?
• let's have a picnic
• want to go to the coffee shop for breakfast?
• no, thanks, Mom
• no thanks, Honey
• no. no. no.
• no?
• nope
• oh rats

So I learned to stop asking. I learned to take myself to the beach, sit in church solo, walk with the dog, get my own coffee, and take control of the remote. I have even gone into movie theaters and restaurants alone - doesn't faze me. What's the big deal? It's a fabulous time to observe ... both other people and myself. Plus, if I want to chat with a human, there's always the server - everyone has a story. It's easy to make friends on the spot.

 

What do you like doing solo and why? 

 

Time alone feels content, peaceful, calm, quiet and reflective. I've learned more about myself during these quiet times. I've written good sentences in my head. And quiet time is remarkable praying time.  

 

I still like hosting guests, but I also like when they leave and my house and time are returned. I still like girlfriend time and dating Hubs and the rare time spent with our kids, even though afterwards, I can easily steer him back into his Man Cave and the kids run upstairs to hole up in their sloppy rooms, just like that writer in the cabin in the woods. Guess younger people enjoy their solo time, too.  

 

[Of course, I will accept time with my kids ANY TIME they may offer it, which is rare these days. :-( I do really miss all the time we once had together, when I was in control of which activities we did - and they eagerly went along. Family Game Night was so fun. No more. Now they are young adults busy with their own junk ... which doesn't include attending church!]

At this stage in life, it merely feels good to pamper, please and do for myself. SOLO SUZANNE. And it's okay. I'm having a fabulous time by the sea - just me, my bike and God.