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friday
april
11 
2014
 

 

reflection section

feeling happy for them 


Last Sunday I took Mamma Gina & Papa Louie to Bingo. Mamma G loves Bingo (Papa Louie, eh, not so much but he goes - for her).

And I noticed during the somewhat L-O-N-G four hours of B-15s, O-68s and N-43s, that the most common reaction resounding around the room whenever someone shouted "BINGO!" was a cacophony of moans and groans. Reactions that equated to ...
"Damn. That person won, and I didn't."

Couldn't we have clapped for the winners instead? Why did we begrudge them their happy Bingo winnings? Wasn't that a tad selfish?

As we watch others delight in their personal triumphs, it seems common for humans to feel jealous and envious of each other. We seem to claim an overall attitude of "Why does S/HE have all the luck?"

A friend loses a bunch of weight and what do we say? "Don't lose anymore, you look too skinny!" C'mon, what are we really saying??? ... "You had the gumption and drive to lose weight and here I am battling daily muffin tops squeezing into pants a size too small." (And then secretly, we bash ourselves around. We want to lose weight, too!) Couldn't we have simply clapped for her? Felt delighted? Proud? Doled out a deserved pat on the back?

Hearing someone's happy news should be about their victory. It shouldn't be - and it isn't - about us.

A family member finds a dream job, gets engaged or pregnant, has enough balls to switch careers or open up her own business, wins an award, moves to the beach ... and we think,
"Why can't that happen to ME?"

Well, first of all snippeteers, it didn't just happen to them. They wanted it. They created it. They went for it. They earned it. And they deserve to cross the finish line with us on the sidelines cheering - with cowbells and handmade signs and confetti.

Maybe it was something that WE WANTED for ourselves. Oh wow. Yet the success of someone else should have zilch to do with our achievements. Nothing and no one is stopping us from working hard toward a similar goal. Jealousy of their happy news will advance us nowhere; it just sabotages them and ourselves.

Can we be happy for others? Absolutely! Right on! And why not? Seems it would feel a whole lot better to celebrate alongside of them instead of begrudging their triumph.

Bingo.

 

Extra credit! Click to read more on the topic >>>

:~} 

5 reasons it pays to get happy  

about other people's successes 

 


 
  

Ciao, until you snippet again ...
 
Suzanne Molino Singleton  
creator of SNIPPETS
(since 2006)



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