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Today's Stimuli

September 14, 2013

DOING THE WORK
GETTING CLEAR
  
In our lives, there is so much about which we are challenged to be or get clear.  So, we are encouraging all of us to repeat this exercise.

It can be difficult to get clear about what you do want until you clear out what you don't want. Unfortunately, we can become so focused on what we don't want that we obscure what we truly desire. This week our work is about getting clear.
 
     
  
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CALLING IN
THE GOOD
  
 

Using a sheet of lined paper complete the following statement 9 times. 

  

"I don't want:

_________________________.

  

Instead I choose: _________________________"




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In the spiritual perspective a boundary is a demonstration of self-respect and respect for others. A boundary is a structure, expectation, request or system put in place to define, prescribe, limit or exclude behavior, people, experiences, and or internal or external intrusions. A boundary makes and keeps us aware of how far we can go and how much we can do with and for an individual. It also makes us aware of what we can expect from and for another.
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The purpose of having boundaries is to protect and take care of ourselves. We need to be able to tell other people when they are acting in ways that are not acceptable to us. A first step is starting to know that we have a right to protect and defend ourselves. We have not only the right but the duty to take responsibility for how we allow others to treat us.

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It is impossible to have a healthy relationship with someone who has no boundaries, with someone who cannot communicate directly and honestly. Learning how to set boundaries is a necessary step in learning to be a friend to ourselves. It is our responsibility to take care of ourselves - to protect ourselves when it is necessary.
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A process to establish and/or maintain boundaries:

 

1. Inform others that the boundary exists and inform them when they have violated it.

2. Identify the properties of your boundaries (what are the definitions and parameters).

3. Create a consistent means of broadcasting the presence of the boundaries.

4. Instruct others as to how the boundary operates.

5. Remain aware of the process/action required to maintain the boundaries.

6. Inform others of the consequences of violating a boundary.

7. Warn others when they have or are about to violate the lines of a boundary.

8. Immediately activate the consequences when a boundary has been violated.

9. Be willing to forgive when a boundary is innocently or unknowingly violated.

10. Be willing to surrender the relationship for repeated violations of the boundaries.

11. Determine through practical experience whether or not the boundaries serve the intention for which they have been established.

 

Inner Visions Institute 

More information on
Spiritual Principles
 
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INDEPENDENT DEPENDENCE   
   

Dear God:

 

No matter where I am, what I am doing or what is going on, I know, accept, believe and remember that right where I am, the fullness of all You are is present.

 

There comes a day when you simply cannot endure another, "Come back tomorrow." Whether you are waiting for an answer, looking for a job, hoping and wishing that the support you need will be made available, as the need or fear or desire grows, "Come back tomorrow" becomes unacceptable.  How many times have you told God,

"I'll come to you tomorrow" Or, "I'll pray tomorrow" or "I'll do my spiritual practice tomorrow" .   

 

 
In other words, how often have you made putting off your spiritual needs acceptable in order to advance your human agenda?  The only way to achieve true, lasting success in mind, body and spirit is to believe in and rely on something bigger and more powerful than your human self today.  This is the first step toward becoming independently dependent on God.

 

As human beings it is com- monplace to rely on our own strength until we are confronted with a problem, failure or some sort of weakness.  More often than not, we go to the Creator asking for a blessing on what we have decided to do rather than asking for guidance about what to do.  Humans want to be free and independent until we don't know what to do, how to do it or wonder if what we are doing will work.  When faced with failure, disappointment or distress we fall into a reluctant state of reliance on an external force.  

 

Today is an opportunity to make another choice.  Choose today to be independently dependent on the inner presence, inner strength, inner authority of God. 

 

Rev. Dr. Iyanla Vanzant 

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I easily set boundaries with my

friends and acquaintances.

 

 

I recognize my personal boundaries and  honor the boundaries of others.

 

 

I create and maintain boundaries that protect and support me.

 

 

My time is valuable and I give myself permission to say no to activities that

take up treasured moments that I

 can use to care for myself.

 

 

I open myself to new opportunities,

stretch beyond my old boundaries

and grow into my magnificent self.

 

 

I am confident and strong as I set

clear boundaries for my life.

 

 

I am clear and respectful when

setting boundaries with others.

 

 

  


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BOUNDARIES are mental, emotional, or physical constructs that define or limit the area in which one is willing to be present.  The space or area in which one works, loves, or desires to be.

 

A lesson from Ken Kizer coach and member of the Inner Visions Institute faculty:

 
"When you don't have boundaries in your life, people will inject themselves into places in your life where you do not want them, and where they have no business being.  Boundaries are like drawing a line in the sand and saying, 'Beyond here I will not go and you cannot come.' The key is to be very clear and very committed to what you are willing to do if the line is crossed."

  

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A lack of boundaries will not only make your life uncomfortable, it helps other people in making their lives uncomfortable.

 

Where there are no boundaries the same bad decision has an opportunity to be repeated.

 

It is on [us] to draw the line in the sand.

 

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BOUNDARIES allow me to take care of myself.

 

BOUNDARIES enable others to take care of themselves.

 

BOUNDARIES create the freedom of choice.

 

To give, share, or support need not mean taking care of.

 

I can say no and still give love and support.

 

BOUNDARIES keep me in my divine, right space

 
 
  
 
Adapted from One Day My Soul Just Opened Up  
by
Iyanla Vanzant 
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Iyanla Helps a Family Break Free From Emotional Prison - Iyanla: Fix My Life - Oprah Winfrey Network
Iyanla Helps a Family Break Free From Emotional Prison
    

Iyanla Fix My Life  on  OWN
Saturdays 9/8c

 
   

  

Oct. 25 to 27, 2013 - Wonder Woman Weekend

  

If you are wanting, struggling, trying to find a deeper, more meaningful purpose in life. If you are waiting for life to become the wondrous adventure you always dreamed it could be...The Wonder Woman Weekend is for you!  For more information click here. 

 

 

 

    

 

 Something for the Men  

 

 Doctors Say Walk This Way  

 

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Want to spend more time with a physician than you get from a rushed office visit? Walk with a Doc may be the answer.
  

The nationwide program features free 30-45 minute walks in parks and malls, led by doctor volunteers who chat with participants about health, fitness or life in general. More than 70% of the walkers are 50 or older.

 

 

IV Applications     
       
Inner Visions Institute
Silver Spring, Maryland 20907