I don't know if you noticed but Share the Care has had public service announcements on WUCF related to our 30th Anniversary. The PSA is a series of snap shots of activities going on in the centers as well as of caregivers with their loved ones. I had some nice feedback from one of the caregivers included in the PSA.
The picture is of her and her husband as she is dropping him off at the center one morning. She called me to tell me that she had seen the ad several times and loved it. Her favorite part, however, was the new found fame they have achieved at church. Apparently both she and her husband sing in the choir and several members of the choir saw the PSA and mentioned it to her. Ever since her fellow choir members learned about the fact she was indeed caring for her husband, they have been very helpful. They get their robes and music for them and make sure they are comfortable etc. This is an added bonus which she truly appreciates.
Now you may be wondering the same thing I did when I heard this story. How could these other choir members have been oblivious to the needs of our caregiver prior to being "hit over the head" with a television ad? I have contemplated this and my best answer is this: it is not considered polite or appropriate in our society to announce you have a need or to ask for help with that need. Flipside - unless confronted with a need our fellow human beings are less likely to try to address it.
It is not that people don't want to help, they do. Sometimes they just need permission to do it.
Caregivers are notoriously bad at asking for help when they need it.
I am always encouraging you caregivers to be aware of the fact that yours is not a job best done alone. That awareness is just the first step. You must find ways to let those who would love to help you know that you have a need and what that need is. Imagine if someone you knew through work or church was dealing with a hardship. Then imagine that you only find out about it after the fact. Wouldn't you wish that they had shared their burden earlier, so you could help?
What will you do with this advice? Unfortunately our PSA is only 15 seconds long and cannot include all of you. Try to figure out how to get your own message out there. There are people who care waiting to help...
