The most empowering assumption that you can make when you're on the receiving end of a nasty comment is that it's NOT ABOUT YOU!  The other person's comments may be prompted by any number of emotions or intentions including:

• Caring
• Envy
• Jealousy
• Resentment
• Ego
• Control
• Concern/Worry
• Disappointment

While you may feel bad being on the receiving end of these emotions, you might also need to remind yourself that you are not responsible for others' emotions.  Family and friends often attempt to make us the recipients of their angst, especially if their discontent is due to our choosing a different course of action than they would have chosen for us.  Hmmm... now there's a thought worth pondering! 

---------------------

[NOTE:  These same emotions may cause US to come across as "mean."  See strategies below for keeping emotions under control]

• Take deep breaths.   
• Count to 10.  Or better yet, count backwards.    
• Envision a large wart on the person's nose.  Or, anything that will distract you from your angst.    
• Picture the person as a caricature or cartoon.    
• Squeeze a muscle, preferably one that is not visible (clenching the jaw doesn't qualify; the offending person can see it).  Fingernails into the palms of the hand works.    
• Push the imaginary "mute button"; their mouth is moving but you don't hear a sound.    
• Drink some water - I'm told you can't drink water and cry at the same time.  And, you can't say something you might regret either!    
• Envision a pleasant scene - your most recent vacation, smiling faces of your kids    
• "Velcro moment" - One person told me she coped by picturing herself sticking her co-worker by his Velcro covered back onto a Velcro covered wall and leaving him hanging there.