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Greetings!
Helping a friend is not always about doing the fun things, and certainly is not always about doing what we want to do. It is about doing what our friend really needs. If your friend is losing his or her independence, this can be an especially devastating time, and ensuring that he or she maintains dignity and an independent spirit is a gift you can give that will be especially valued. The story we received from a WhatFriendsDo friend is a beautiful example of helping a friend on a difficult journey in a beautiful way.
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My friend Paula was a single mother, provided a home for a special needs family member, and ran her own professional business. She was full of spunk and energy, and used to being plenty capable and fully autonomous. Then she was diagnosed with brain cancer. The disease and the treatment both made some major inroads on her ability to do it all herself. She had trouble with things like walking, and she wasn't allowed to drive. She struggled with it all emotionally as much as physically.
Her friends wanted to "be there for her," but Mary was the person Paula usually called for help. Mary has plenty of spine of her own, but she quietly did exactly what was asked of her, without question. They went to the bank, the grocery, and to "weird places." They threw a party: "Fight for the Right to Party," so Paula could be in the thick of all her 100 best friends.
The brilliant way that Mary put it later was that Paula was struggling already, and she had absolutely no energy to spare. Mary made sure when they went to buy flowers, they got just the purple pansies that Paula wanted, and read more here
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We may not be able to change the outcome, but we hope to change the journey.
The Staff of WhatFriendsDo
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