Welcome to 2015! I have the best feeling about this year. I have decided that this is the year that I own the world! In their book, The Wisdom of Oz, Roger Connors and Tom Smith talk about the concept of renters and owners.

It is human nature to take better care of the things that we own than the things that we rent.

If we own our home or our car, if we are committed to a relationship, a friendship, or a goal that is important to us, we are investing our energy and time in order to make sure that our home, our car, our relationship or our goal survive and thrive under our watch. We are willing to sacrifice and work hard for what we own, after all, what we take ownership of is what we are most proud of, and what stands as a reflection of our accomplishments and achievements. When we are renters of an apartment, a car, a relationship or a job, we may enjoy our time spent renting, but we have the option to walk away at any moment. We are only making a partial investment for the short term. We are just not as devoted to the people or things that we rent or lease our time with; we are more invested with those people and things that we take ownership in for the long run. 

If we are renting a car, we don't take it to the car wash, we don't put in premium gas, and we don't park it far away from the shopping carts at the supermarket. Why? Because we don't own it! We are not as attached to the outcome of our actions when we rent that vehicle. For most of us, the story would be quite different if we owned that car.

Connors and Smith suggest that if we are really committed to achieving a goal, getting ahead at work, or developing and enhancing our relationships; own them, don't rent them!

I personally love this idea.Think about all the times in our lives that we have to make decisions about what is really important to us. What are the concepts or people that we want to make the most time for? When do we need to dig deep and make the investment in a job, in a goal, in a friendship? Being an owner of my decisions keeps me focused on what is most important to my business and what and who are most important to me personally. It is often the best time management tool, because my time is valuable. Deciding where to best invest my time clarifies my attachment to not only the problems in my life, but to the solutions as well. This is because as an owner, I want to invest my resources into the people and things that have the greatest value to me since I will most likely see a return on my investments over time. Although there are many points in our lives where renting may make the most sense, taking ownership of the important things aligns us with our values and empowers our decisions.

Ownership is a driving force that makes us more accountable for how we show up in the world and why.

When we act as renters in our lives, we often miss the opportunities to have real and lasting depth in our relationships, in our careers and in our own growth. We have friends, but maybe not really good friends. Facebook friends may be enough for a renter because maintaining them is simple. We may get married, but never really commit to the work involved in fueling that relationship, because separation or divorce are always an option. In fact, renting rather than owning our romantic relationships may be one of the main reasons that half of all marriages end in divorce. We go to work and go through the motions, renting in our careers, because to own them outright would involve gumption and determination and real work. We can always find another job...right?

In my opinion, experiencing true happiness at our core comes with passion, and it is this passion that drives ownership.

Often, we are fearful of the responsibility of owning our decisions. What if we are wrong about something? What if we commit to being an owner in our lives and want to make changes? The good news is that even as owners, we always have options to change and to grow and to revise our goals. When we own, we always have the ability to sell. The difference is that when we do sell, we have made an investment in ourselves and in the people and things that we most cherish. The value of this is absolutely priceless and cannot be realized unless we take ownership in the first place.

Tired of renting in your life? You should not let anyone rent a space in your mind unless they have signed a lease! Owning your thoughts, allows you to own your life! We all have the option to own. Make this year the one that you invest in yourself!


In recent years, I have become increasingly aware of the series of small, almost mindless tasks that begin my day. My early morning rituals include, exercising, eating a healthy breakfast, making my bed, straightening up the house, and getting myself pulled together all before 8 AM. Although, not especially remarkable in any way, my morning "habits" serve as a warm up for a more productive, focused and energetic day ahead. On the days where my pattern of positive tasks is altered, so is my overall day. For me, a shift in these rituals translates to a shift in other areas of my life. Often, the habits we practice in one area of our lives impact how we lead our whole life. Essentially, the way we do anything is the way we do everything.

Curious if the power of positive tasking could actually make a difference in the lives of others, I decided to ask my teenage son if he would participate in a little home experiment. 

Like most teenage boys who are generally messy and disorganized, my son is no exception. His mornings resemble a fire drill from bed to bus! In so doing, he leaves in his wake an unmade bed, open drawers, towels on the floor, and all lights left in the on position. When asked why he leaves his bed unmade and his drawers open, my son is proud to share his reasoning with me, "Why should I bother to make my bed or close my drawers if I am just going to have to go into them again later?" That said, starting his day in chaos was having a negative influence on his mornings and often on his entire day. By his own admission, his days tended to be vastly unorganized, leaving him with little energy and limited motivation. He agreed to try experimenting with a pattern of positive morning habits for one week to see if it made any difference in his life.

During the first week of our experiment, my son woke up a little earlier to allow himself time to make his bed, take a shower, hang his towel, close his drawers, turn off the lights and pack up his books without forgetting anything. As his Mom, I was so happy that he was not only positively impacting his home environment, but I was delighted to know that he did, in fact, know how to make his bed! Things were going well and by day three, we actually began noticing a shift in his behavior. He began dressing better, replacing his Nike track pants, sweatshirts and sneakers with jeans, sweaters and Cole Haan shoes. He was eager to stay after school, not only for academic pursuits and clubs, but to utilize the high school fitness center to work out. His demeanor was "lighter" and more carefree and he seemed more attentive to the world around him as well as to the people in it. 

Noticing the impact that the power of positive tasking had on the start of his day, my son actually asked to continue our experiment for another week!

At the end of the second week of early morning positive habits, my son had a USTA tennis tournament. He played a tough opponent with confidence and conviction and although he did not win, he lost in a tiebreaker. The ultimate test of the effectiveness of positive tasking came when we reviewed his grades since the start of our experiment. Generally an A-B student ALL of his tests, quizzes, projects and homework assignments for this two week period were A's. He was upbeat and invested in starting his day with thought and tasking. 

When asked to recap his thoughts about our experiment he said, "Positive tasking in the morning has helped to make me more confident, relaxed and motivated because it allows me to focus and prepare for the challenges of my day. Prior to this experiment, I began each day in a fog, getting dressed and out the door thoughtlessly; more because I had to, then because I wanted to. Now, I am actually aware of the series of small patterns and steps that jumpstart my day. Early organization is very influential in how my day plays out, and I plan to continue to begin each day this way."

My son and I both have a more powerful beginning to our day when we start with positive tasking. Simply put, these small steps are the first accomplishments of the day and they start a chain reaction, setting the tone for accomplishing more. Speaking at the University of Texas at Austin 2014 graduation, U.S. Navy Adm. William H. McCraven said, "If you want to change the world, start off by making your bed. Making your bed accomplishes a task and encourages you to do another and another."

How can the power of positive tasking impact your day?

Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "All of life is an experiment. The more experiments you make the better." Here's to experimenting in your life and embracing new things in 2015!


Our relationships whether ignited by friendship, family, love or business are the connective glue that holds all the other elements of our lives together. It is the people that we connect with that provide us with the greatest compassion, spark and acceptance in our lives. No matter how independent we may each be, we all benefit from the bonds we create with others.

It is no wonder then that the word relationship is spelled with two I's. Perhaps it is to remind us that without the individual letter I's, without that connection between us, there can be no "we." Every relationship involves at least two people. The more secure that we are in our own identity, the more successful and long term our relationships can be.

We bring so much more to all of our partnerships if we have and maintain our own pursuits, friends and pastimes. Too often, we give up on who we are in order to accomodate others in our lives. It is common to make decisions to fulfill the wants of others or to maintain what we perceive is someone's expectations for us. 

What we often forget is that our relationships whether love or friendship or business based, were originally structured with a foundation built upon the 
individual nuances and personalities of each person involved. Not losing our own identity in our commitments to others is paramount in ensuring the longevity of the relationship itself.

When we neglect our own needs in our relationships, we become so set in pleasing others that we lose our own sense of self. Over time, this may lead to an imbalance both in our lives and in our associations. Imbalance leads to stress and blame and can become the undoing of an otherwise healthy alliance. So, how can we hold onto our own individuality while being a good friend, wife, husband, lover, mother, father, son, daughter or business partner? Here are the top 3 things to consider:

  1. Own your relationship with yourself: Continue to evolve and change and to develop who you are. Make a date with yourself on a regular basis. Time alone allows us to recharge and refocus. Choose activities that sooth your soul and make you happy. This also allows you to bring more to the table when you are with those you care about.
  2. Choose happy: Depending on others to make us happy may lead to disappointment. Unless our joy comes from inside us, we cannot be truly happy in any relationship. Being happy with ourselves makes us happier with others, so we need to be responsible for our own feelings.
  3. Prioritize family and friends: No one relationship should be our entire life. Make sure to cultivate  new friends and maintain the old. Each person we know provides a unique perspective and a different relationship. By balancing all the liaisons that are important to us, we enrich our lives to the fullest.




When evaluating our goals for the year ahead we often wrestle with the idea of resolutions or promises. Often, this is exactly where we become stuck, because we become overwhelmed in the process itself. During a recent coaching session, a great idea surfaced. What if we find one or two key words to define our intentions for ourselves for the months ahead?

By using only one or two words, we fine tune the resolution process and set the tone for our expectations by making ourselves accountable in the process. For instance, if our goal is to simplify our lives the word "simplify" may become our 2015 word of choice. Now, every time we need to find direction or evaluate where we are at, we can ask ourselves if we are already simplifying or how we may simplify something.

Finding the words that have true meaning to us connects us to our core values and provide us with a way to remain true to ourselves and what we most want to accomplish.

What are your words?


March 5, 2015
The Divorce Professionals Expo Event
Details to follow
Roundtable Discussion Topic:
Reinventing Your Journey From "I Do" to "I Don't"


Central School in Glen Rock, NJ
600 Maple Ave, Glen Rock, NJ
Friday, 3/27/15: 10 AM
By Invitation Only
Do I Stay or Do I Go;
Back To Work?

WEN, Women's Empowerment Network
Bergen County YWCA
112 Oak Street, Ridgewood
Wednesday, July 29, 2015
8:30-10:00 AM
Details to follow

Waldwick Library
19 East Prospect Street, Waldwick
7:30 PM
Timing It Just Right; Moving From Paralyzed to Productive Time Management

Franklin Lakes Women's Club
Monday, 11/16/15, 6:30 PM
Details to follow
Evolving Your Story: The Art of Reinvention


"Randi, I just wanted to let you know that I thought that your presentation this 
morning was wonderful! It was inspiring, informative and had great takeaways. I'm sure it was helpful to every woman in the room, including myself. You're a terrific presenter!"  ZH 

"I was very impressed with your speech. You have excellent public speaking skills. I could connect with everything you were saying, not only for the holidays, but for every day life." James K.

"Randi, you are really an inspiration. You are a walking advertisement for the power of transformation and making of your life what you want it to be." Cantor Regina Lambert-Hayut

Currently Booking 2015 Speaking Engagements

It really does make a difference.

Friends and family may give heartfelt advice, but in order for you to take action in your own life, the answers really do need to come directly from you.

Life coaching provides exactly that. When you spin your tales with spouses, or sisters or best friends, they often tell you what to do. They try to fix the situation. In the short run, that feels great, but in the long run, it leaves you empty. 


Because how often do you actually take action on things that other people tell you to do? If you take their advice at all, you often blame them if the outcomes are not what you expected. More than likely, you listen to what these important people in your life have to say, but you don't actually do anything in order to implement these actual changes into your life.

Hiring me as your life coach can actually change your life.

No kidding.

Just as an athlete works harder under a coach's watch, you work harder as my client because you are being held to your "word" which encourages you to make your objectives a reality. Through our question based sessions, you will be challenged to stretch yourself and will be motivated and committed to make changes. This is because the solutions are coming from you and not from someone else and because I am holding you to your action steps between sessions. Exploring your own solutions + accountability works!

Lose the blame, and take action on your own choices! Contact me to find out what life coaching can do for you:  

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In addition, if you have a topic that you would like to have me address in future newsletters or speaking engagements, please contact me.

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"An invisible thread connects those who are destined to meet, regardless of time, place, or circumstances. The thread may stretch or tangle, but it will never break. May you be open to each thread that comes into your life--the golden ones and the coarse ones--and may you weave them into a brilliant and beautiful life."-- Unknown