Last weekend I was at a concert. The music was from the Frankie Valliand the Four Seasons era. I was really looking forward to it, both for nostalgia and because the music is hip-shakin' good. (I know, I know...each to their own.)

 

The band included two of the original Four Seasons, and three other musicians who among them had been in most of the great bands since the 70's. Sounded like a slam-dunk for a fun night.

 

The performance was at one of the Casinos which dot Oregon and the theater was spacious. The seats were great and I could see easily. All set.

 

They started playing and the music was what I expected, done with great technical excellence. The voices were also great. As one of the musicians said, "Walk like a man, sing like a girl" as most of the Four Seasons music involved a falsetto voice. The performer who did the falsetto was spot on.

 

But I didn't feel compelled to get up and dance. I didn't even feel enthusiastic about clapping and I noticed I wasn't alone. With all this perfection, what was missing?

 

Magic. That specialness that happens when performers are passionate about what they're singing and who they're performing with was missing, and it took the heart out of the concert. The music didn't feel the same and I was disappointed.

 

It got me to thinking about times when perfection isn't enough. I began thinking about clients that I've had who were in search of perfection...the perfect house, the perfect car, the perfect clothes, the perfect education for their children. And by constantly searching for unending objects of perfection, they skip right over being satisfied with what they have.

 

'Tis the season of gratitude and the article this issue is about how making gratitude a practice is a faster road to satisfaction and happiness than a search for perfection.

 

Speaking of gratitude, I would be grateful for your help.   Please let me know what you wished your parents had told you about money. I'm writing a book about what we missed in our financial education and how we can raise financial savvy kids. I want as many different perspectives as possible and your input is important to me.

 

And finally, Happy Thanksgiving! It is my favorite holiday, and I wish you a warm, grateful and abundant day.

 

  

Until next time,

 

sb  

The Fastest Road to Happiness
By Susan Bross, Money Coach

What makes you happy? Is it a new car? Is it a weekend away?Is it a new outfit? Does it involve spending money?

 

Many of my clients express fear that they will never have fun again if they change how they manage their money. Without spending significant money, they can't imagine how life could be rich.

 

The irony about this perspective is that in truth, happiness doesn't come from spending more money. It comes from being grateful for what you have. If you can't be grateful for what you have how could you be grateful for more?

 

New, Better, Brighter

We're living in a culture where we are bombarded by messages that tell us that we're responsible for keeping the economy going by spending money, that if we don't have the newest of the new we are deprived. New models come out with improved features, and these new features seem so much better than what we have.

 

The pursuit of bigger, better, and brighter is an emptier road than that of being grateful for what we have. It also leaves us with less sensitivity and access to gratitude. Like a muscle we're not using it atrophies.

 

The gratitude that I'm talking about isn't the "thank you" that you say when you get a gift or someone does something for you. It is the soul gratitude that recognizes that you have all you'd ever need with you now. Your health, your children, your job, your pets, electricity, water, education, reasonably well-paved streets, medical care, and the list goes on and on.

 

How do we get in touch with that deep, satisfying gratitude? It's a practice. Because we've drifted away from this type of thinking in our culture, it takes a certain mindfulness that you can get better and better at the more you do it.

 

Take a New Perspective

Instead of looking for what isn't working or what we don't have, the trick is to look at what is working and all the great things we do have. Shift your perspective 180 degrees.

 

I remember in Psychology 101 that the professor was talking about how we as humans notice and remember what isn't going right or is out of place. I'm sure it's a vestige of being on the alert for the tiger that's lurking in the bushes. But it doesn't serve us anymore.

 

Make it a habit to look at your day in a different way, for what is going well, what is working, and what are the good things.

 

Take a Look

When you're out for a walk with your dog, you could look around for something beautiful and feel the gratitude for having that in your life. When you talk with your children, take a moment to think about how they've grown, how you're proud of them, how your life is richer because of them.

 

When you talk with your friends, think of all the reasons that you have them in your life and all the times they've been there for you. Take a breath, take a moment to get lost in appreciation and your mood will lighten and your satisfaction will build.

 

Take a Moment

When you get smacked down during your day, consciously choose to start your day over. Grab a piece of paper and write down everything you're grateful for, and don't stop until you have at least 20 things. Pause and reflect on how good your life is.

 

Choose How You Want to Respond

We tend to react from our less evolved selves. If we can give ourselves a moment, we can re-align our head and heart to give a more constructive response.   One technique is to repeat back to the person what you heard them say.   Many misunderstandings are from miscommunication.

 

Another technique is to not say "yes" or "no" to something new for at least 24 hours if at all possible. A major way that people get over-committed and overwhelmed is by giving a response before they have the opportunity to decide what they want to do.

 

Gratitude as a Practice

We all want to have rich lives. We all want to feel satisfied and happy. None of this requires money, but rather taking the time to recognize how wonderful our lives are already. Happiness is the result of joyous satisfaction that is the result of a perspective of gratitude.

I'm grateful you're reading this. I'm grateful that for over 20 years I have been able to do the work I love with clients that I treasure.

 

It's hard to feel gratitude if struggle defines your financial situation. It doesn't have to be like that. Let me help you discover which money behavior patterns are bringing you results you don't want. Right now is an excellent time to make a change for good.

 

What would it be like for you to learn how to do your money without stress, fear or frustration and have a system that works for you now - and for the rest of your life. Call me, email me...make the choice to have even more reasons for gratitude by this time next year.

 

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