I have been very blessed in my work life that I haven't had to commute to work for years. I have been working in a home office since 1993, and so I was a "commuting innocent" until I was traveling down regularly to the Bay Area after my move.

 

I stay with my brother in the Oakland Hills and commute into my San Rafael office or to wherever I'm giving a workshop or meeting friends/family. In order to get to my office, I have to maneuver through 5 freeway interchanges, usually during the morning rush hours. Madness, pure madness.

 

Having gotten stuck in numerous traffic jams, I started noticing the sociology of traffic. There are some distinct behaviors that seem consistent whenever I'm on the road.

 

The tailgater seems to tailgate even if there is a way to get around my car. I was on a fairly deserted freeway one Saturday morning and had someone less than a car length behind me even though there were empty lanes next to me. Separation anxiety?

 

There are drivers that seem to think that if others are in the appropriate lane for transitioning from one freeway to another, that they can push themselves into that lane at the very beginning of the queue because waiting isn't for them. Entitlement issues?

 

I was seeing that some cars sit in traffic for a while, and then reach an imperceptible time limit for waiting that causes them to veer out of the lane and into someone else's without a signal. Delayed gratification problems?

 

Road warriors jockey through holes in traffic, taking it as a challenge to surpass the flow and develop their own intricate journey regardless of the safety of their fellow travelers. Control issues?

 

As you can see, the monotony of driving in traffic gets me to look at the driving styles around me with a behavior-pattern eye. It is because in my work with my clients that I am aware of patterns...that is what I'm looking for when clients are feeling stress or frustration in their money lives.

 

The article this week is about patterns I see when clients are talking about the reasons for spending money. Before you start reading, I want you to know that I agree that there are always good reasons for spending money. But do the reasons matter if the results are stress, frustration or risk to you or your family?

If you would like to explore what might be causing you stress, frustration or puzzlement in your financial life, I would love to be your guide. I'm only an email or call away.

 

Until next time,

 

sb  

Is It a Need or a Want?
By Susan Bross, Money Coach

When you were a child, did you ever have your parents ask you: "Is that a need or a want?" It usually would have been when you'd just stated something that you want to spend money on. You knew that the answer that would get their approval is that it's a need (because who could argue with spending money on a need?) so you scrambled to find the reasons that made it a need.

 

Most of us still do that to ourselves. We create the reasons that make an expenditure acceptable, trying to move it toward the "need" side of the continuum.

 

There are studies that show that we buy with emotion and justify with logic. You would only have to watch the stock market to see that in action. If there is consumer confidence, the stock market thrives and if there isn't it struggles. Confidence doesn't make the stocks any different, but it makes the emotional reaction to them different.

 

I'm bringing this up because we have "learned" that having a good enough reason means we can spend our money the way we want to. There are some patterns that I see repeated in this process that I thought I'd share with you. Remember, if you see yourself in these examples, it isn't that you're wrong or bad but rather that you use a certain train of logic in your buying process.

 

I Deserve It

This is a very powerful statement because who can argue with it? The person who creates the income can feel as though that expenditure of time, effort and skills should be rewarded. Their partner can also feel as though they can't argue with it because it's the breadwinner's income. The consideration here is whether that expenditure is in alignment with all the other financial decisions that have been made in the past and the goals that are in place for the future.   I often suggest that each person have a specific amount of money monthly that they don't have to account for which can help satisfy this "I deserve it" feeling.

 

I've Wanted It for a Long Time

You've been thinking about it, visualizing how it would add to your life, and when seeing it for the umpteenth time you go ahead and buy it. The question that I would ask here is whether or not it was saved for. If you had been wanting it a long time and it has been gaining importance for you, then you would be putting money aside for it...right? This is a good time to write those things you want into a list and then prioritize it. Your money will then be directed to those things that are most valuable to you regardless of how long you've wanted them.

 

It's on Sale

How can you pass it up? Something that you've wanted has gone on sale. My only question would be what its priority was on your "Wants List?" If it is high up on the scale and on sale then it might be a good time to purchase it if you have the money set aside for it. Otherwise, you would want to turn your energy toward waiting for what you most want to also be at a good price.

 

If I Don't Buy It Now I'll Never Get It

This sense of urgency in a purchase is usually a sign that you need to step back. The feeling that you'll never get something unless you act now is rarely true, and often played upon by vendors and merchandisers. In our culture it is extremely rare that you wouldn't be able to find something comparable in the future when you have the money for it. The sense of freedom you'll feel in not getting something that may generate a sense guilt makes it worth the wait.

 

 

Here's my point: the reason doesn't matter. If it wasn't planned for, if it wasn't saved for, if it will cause any stress or strain on your finances, then in my thinking there isn't a good enough reason for spending money on it now.

 

If you're contemplating an unplanned purchase, your reason for it is the story you're telling yourself and others to justify spending the money. The real questions are: "Does it fit our plan?" "Does it bring true lasting value?" And, "Is there money put aside for this?"

 

I believe your money life can be stress-free and rewarding. My job is to help my clients find those glitches in how they are approaching their money that cause them to trip over behaviors, decisions or systems that aren't working. Is there anything in your money life you'd like to discuss? Call me. Email me. You don't need a good enough reason, just a money glitch.

 

I look forward to hearing from you.

 

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