A Swing and a Miss (or Just Maybe a Hit!)
by Susan Bross, Financial Counselor and Money Coach
Do you feel like you're lost in a money maze, 
wandering around endlessly without a map?
Maybe it's been going on for a long time or it's one of those things that reappears annoyingly from time to time. You might feel doomed to slog through your money life without a joyful outcome.
Sometimes it's a small thing. One client, "Suzy," had changed many things in her financial life except for one...she ran up money on her overdraft account. She would work for months to pay it off, and then it would be back again. It was never a lot of money, but it frustrated her.
Another client, "David," had been making half a million dollars a year for a decade, and had only $75,000 in long term savings. He was aware that he couldn't count on making income like that forever, and he certainly wouldn't have enough to retire on if he continued doing things the same way.
These are two very different issues. What they have in common is that both people were feeling confused and hopeless about the situation. They were both very smart, successful in their fields, and yet kept running up against the same problem.
How can Suzy and David (or you) get off the path of money frustration and get on one that leads to better outcomes?
Step 1 - You need to know exactly where you are
Examine your lifestyle choices and take a moment to write down the numbers that represent what they cost. It that's not easy for you, get help. I like to get help right away with new areas that I'm trying to conquer. You may be like many others who would rather try it themselves at first. Don't guess at the amounts. It's vital that you work with the real numbers, representing the real expenses. Not just your monthly expenses, but also your irregular and "emergency" expenses.
If you've done an exercise like this before and were unable to identify the problems and make changes, you need someone with expertise to look at your numbers. My experience is that clients typically overlook at least 25% of their expenses because they are classifying them as "outside the norm." One-off expenses. Medical or dental costs are a good example of this. But on closer examination, this general category will have expenses that occur over the course of every year.
Step 2 - Clearly define your goal and write it down
Suzy's goal was to have sequential months where nothing went on the overdraft account. David's goal was to save $15,000 per year in long-term savings that wasn't touched for any reason. These are examples of clear, definable and time specific goals.
Step 3 - Enroll Your Tribe
If there are other people involved in your money life, 
enroll your tribe. Have a family meeting about the goal that you have. Ask for their input: what are their ideas about how you can reach your goal? What have they noticed that might be adding to the problem?
Hear them out, without judgment and write down the suggestions and ideas (you might recognize this as a brainstorming session). Find out which solutions they want to participate in and get their buy-in. Be sure that everyone involved knows what the expectations are and what they are responsible for. Be reasonable with deadlines and check in points. Within a month, set up a second meeting to check in on your progress and I suggest that you confirm with an email.
David had a wife and children. He had a family pow-wow, and got even the smallest child involved in thinking of ways to save more money. It became the family game to see if they could have virtually the same lifestyle on less money.
Step 4 - Tie the changes to specific behaviors
In Suzy's case, she designated one day a week for a financial meeting with herself. She would check her bank balance, calculate what bills needed to be paid and her upcoming expenses. She also checked her bank balance every morning before she left for work.
In David's case their specific behavior changes were to eat out two nights a week instead of four and chose restaurants that were less expensive. They also decided to do menu planning so that they could shop just once a week. The recipes they planned were put on the refrigerator so anyone could start dinner.
Getting specific about behavior is a very tangible way to creating change. Just wanting to spend less doesn't get the job done. When you translate the change into the behavior that's required to get there, it can be monitored easily.
At the end of the month, check in to see what effect the changes had. Are they taking you in the right direction?
Step 5 - Expect your head to sass you back
Whenever you change habits, your head is going to give you push-back. It's going to tell you that you can't do what you're doing, or it won't make a difference, or who do you think you are....conversations like that. Write them down so that you can know what has been holding you back from doing this sooner, but practice the new behaviors anyway.
Step 6 - Practice the new behaviors
My golf swing doesn't get better if I just think about it. I have to swing the club, over and over, until it feels normal. Changing behavior is much the same.
Step 7 - Celebrate the small wins
Post your results on the family bulletin board. Make a fun post-it for the bathroom mirror. We have a habit of noticing what isn't done. This is just the opposite...notice the little changes and celebrate them.
Your money issues didn't start overnight. Improvement takes time as well. This is a process not an event. If you stop, start again. If you get stuck, ask for help. Get a buddy-plan with someone who also wants to change something. Or contact an expert, such as myself, to help you work through the steps, find the path and learn how to stay on it.
One day, you'll look back and see how far you've come. You won't believe that you were able to change the "unchangeable." You can do this - one step at a time. Your swing-and-a-miss will be a swing-and-a-hit and you just might even make it a hole it one!
