It has been Spring-like here, so I spent Sunday planting some dwarf fruit trees in containers. With so many flowers and trees blooming around me, it seemed the perfect time to celebrate Nature's bounty by planting these trees.

I saw the trees at a Home show. The booth was jammed because the trees looked so healthy and had some interesting and unusual options, like pineapple guavas. Some were bare-root and some in pots, but the posters all showed these beautiful trees in blossom and then full of fruit.

Buying the trees turned out to be the easy part. Next I needed to buy large pots. Each one was at least as expensive as the tree itself.  Since the pots were such a large size, I had to buy rolling trays for the pots to sit on so that I could move them once the dirt and plants were added. Then there was the special soil mix, and don't forget the fertilizer. In all, I spent three times what the plants had cost me originally.

Does this sound at all familiar? Have you had a great idea that got more and more expensive as you went along? I think there's a natural tendency for us to look at the initial cost and consider our choices on that amount, without taking into account the accompanying costs. We may not even know what the accompanying costs will be, like with those fruit trees.

This all got me thinking about how the power of a great idea can sweep us into situations where we end up feeling powerless and out of control. Suddenly we're watching money run out the door, and all because of a great idea.

Mine was fruit trees, but I've seen this happen with more expensive options, like private schools, home buying, and remodeling. It can feel like our finances are spinning of control - like we've given our power over to the idea. Today's newsletter addresses reclaiming that power - how to notice the ways we've given it up and some ideas about how to get it back.

The fruit trees are planted and they look great. I'm looking forward to seeing them bloom next year and hopefully yield fruit (although sometimes it takes two years for that to happen). In the meantime, I'll notice all the blooms, colors and scents of Spring, and remind myself that some forces just take care of themselves. Thank you Mother Nature.

p.p.s. A special welcome to my new subscribers!  I sincerely hope you will appreciate my articles and insights!

sb  

Making Decisions to Take Your Financial Power Back

When my brother was small, he would always start some explanation for a wrong-doing by saying,  "There I was minding my own business when...." I smile whenever I hear someone using that phrase because it reminds me of the countless excuses I'd hear from him about some incident or another.

It's not so funny though when we feel like "there we were, just minding our own business," and then we begin experiencing outcomes that we never would have chosen. Or did we actually choose them? It's hard to see where it started going wrong.

The reason it's hard to see is that it is actually a series of decisions that led to these consequences. The reason I talk about getting your power back is that sometimes we make decisions that box ourselves into a corner, and then instead of changing the situation by making a new decision, we set up camp in the corner, feeling powerless.

Sometimes a series of decisions will lead to a financial life of stress and struggle. Some decisions are like a promise to a friend or loved one, something you would not wish to break.

Decisions can be about our money choices or they can be about our time choices, or sometimes they can be about both.

One client described a situation with an adult child. The original promise had been that "Jim" (not his real name) would pay for a college education. The child was now 25, had been in school for six years, and was asking for additional support to go back to school. "Jim" said he was feeling resentful that his child was continuing to request money for school, and that he was concerned that by giving the money he was actually helping to hold this child back.

In another example, I had a client say that she felt drained, and had no time to commit to her finances. The reason that she was talking with me, however, was that her finances weren't going in the direction that she wanted and so finding time for them was important.

I asked her how her time was currently committed. She was president of her PTA, on the Board of her homeowners association, and volunteered at her kids' school. She also had her own business and provided half the family income.

When I asked her what it would feel like to give up some of these commitments, she said that she was concerned that if she gave them up no one would step forward.   I pointed out that she wasn't allowing anyone to step forward because she wasn't creating the vacuum needed for them to fill.

In both of these examples, the clients were no longer feeling the same way toward the decision that they had made, but felt uncomfortable about going back on that decision.

Here's the Truth: decisions aren't final. You aren't "cursed" by a decision that isn't working out.

The power comes in owning your choices. How are you feeling about your money commitments and your time commitments? You aren't required to feel victimized by your own choices. If, on honest review, you find there are areas where you aren't thrilled with your results, then you are entitled to claim your power back.

You can reclaim your power by reviewing all of your decisions to see if you still stand behind them and you want to continue making them in the same way as you move forward.

Perhaps there are conditions you need to add to a decision or commitment you made earlier. Or, you might find that you need to alter that decision based on new conditions that weren't in place when you originally made your choice.

For instance, in the last few years many people have had to re-think a decision they made about buying a home prior to the downturn. Post downturn, their income has perhaps changed, houses aren't appreciating, and they don't have the flexibility of selling their home to recapture their investment. It isn't necessarily that the initial decision was faulty, but it was made using criteria that are no longer in place. The downturn was a game changer, and decisions made prior to it may have not worked out because the conditions now are different.

So here are steps can you take:

• Honestly review what isn't working for you. It might be something about which you feel powerless, fearful or resentful. Make a list.
• For each item on the list, trace back the history of the decisions you made that got you there.
• Check to see if you'd make those same decisions today. If yes, then no worries. Your road is toward acceptance of what is. If no, then you need to see if it's a matter of adding conditions to the old decision or re-making the decision entirely.

In the example of the client with the adult child, he chose to attach conditions: that a certain grade-point average be consistently achieved, and that all school support would end by a certain date regardless of whether or not a degree was reached.

With the client whose time was challenged, she chose to relinquish her PTA and Board commitments as soon as possible, so that she could reclaim her time and let others be of service.

You own the power of decision-making and choice. If you're not feeling that power, then go in search of it. If you want a partner in that search, shoot me an email and we'll schedule some time to talk about it. You don't have to take this journey alone.