Have you ever had that experience where you think you have it all figured out, and it turns out to be something completely different?

 

That happened to me very recently. I've been dating someone steadily for several months, and it came time to introduce our two dogs. On the surface that probably doesn't sound too difficult, but these dogs are a little different.

 

My dog is a 16-pound Cairn terrier mix who was mistreated and physically terrorized for five years. I've had him for six months, and he's bitten the mail man and my sister-in-law (tearing skin, blood, the whole thing), as well as barked hysterically at any stranger. I can't take him to dog parks because he takes on all the dogs and tries to bite them.

 

My gentleman friend's dog is a 65-pound black lab who was severely beaten for two years. He's very gentle and submissive, but is unpredictable around small dogs.

 

Not exactly a formula for success. I came prepared. My dog was in his thundershirt (tight wrapping that calms a dog), his harness, short-leash, and I was carrying his muzzle.

 

It started the way I thought...hysterical barking from my dog, some lunging, so I held him close to me. We had the dogs in the same room, but apart.

 

Then things got even trickier. I thought it was going to be just my friend and I with the two dogs. Oh no. It became a people-fest, with his son, brother and his wife, and her sister and her husband. A bunch of strangers and two dogs. Yikes.

 

But after a while, when everything calmed down a bit, I noticed my dog relaxing. When someone moved or came into the room, he'd tense...but then relax again. No one was paying him much attention which gave him the chance to figure things out.

 

The real shock of the day was when these two wounded doggie souls started playing together. The big lab was on his front knees with his tail in the air, and my dog was worrying at his ears and throat. The lab would put out a paw and my guy would disappear under some piece of furniture and then venture out from another angle.

 

They had found their separate peace and become friends. My fears were for naught. I had spent time and energy thinking up strategies for what I believed was a sure disaster, and worried for days about the outcome.

 

What does this have to do with money? Nothing and everything. How many times have you worried and worried about a result, only to have things unfold in a different direction? Maybe you spent money on solutions for problems that hadn't even happened yet, or used time and energy as I had on a problem that didn't even materialize.

 

There is a difference between being prepared and being fearful about the future. You can prepare for the unknown by having emergency savings and financial safety nets, (like I help clients with), or you can fear a disaster and sit in worry. As I've become older, I've realized that worry is optional. I have the safety nets that I need in place and I know that whatever happens, I'll be okay.

 

I've also learned skills and strategies in money management that have given me the confidence that I can maneuver in whatever income I have. If you don't have that kind of confidence, life can be pretty scary. We can't control what happens, but we can control how we deal with it. If you don't have any safety nets in place, then you don't have the resources to deal with life on life's terms.

 

That's my expertise. Although my clients make good money and are often not in debt, they don't have financial security in terms of the basic safety nets that would give them financial confidence. In my mind, that's a true deprivation. In this issue, I share two examples of clients who make good money but despite "having it all figured out" still can't save money.

 

January is all about new beginnings, so this is the perfect time to schedule a strategy session - especially if you're like my clients in the article. Email me today to schedule your appointment.

 

Until next time,

 

 

Susan

 

A special welcome to my new subscribers! I sincerely hope you will appreciate my articles and insights!

sb  

JUST WHEN YOU THINK YOU HAVE IT ALL FIGURED OUT

by Susan Bross, Financial Counselor and Money Coach

 

You've got it all figured out. If you only made more money you wouldn't have money problems anymore. Here are a couple of stories that demonstrate how making more money isn't always the answer.

 

I had a client call recently whose income was in the $300,000 range. Although her income came largely from commissions, she was consistently in that range. She called me because her family couldn't seem to save money. They would put some aside only to have an unexpected expense wipe them out again.

 

They had it all figured out, using numbers from tracked expenses. Why couldn't they save money?

 

When we started working together, I realized that they were ignoring certain expenses. Their focus was on expenses that happened regularly, but they were ignoring expenses that happened less often. When I asked them about that, they said that there was no way to predict those expenses. Things would happen and they'd have to put money on the line.

 

It seems to be a normal process to eliminate things that don't fit the norm. In this case, though, it was costing them their savings.

 

I put into the formula the expenses they were seeing as one-time only in general numbers. When those numbers were included in the plan, it was clear that in order to save money, they needed to shave their lifestyle choices a bit in all categories.

 

We identified categories that they could experiment with. When they found slightly less expensive options for these categories, they saved money. As they combed out the expenses that were habit and didn't bring true value to them anymore, they saved money.

 

They now have an account set aside for irregular expenses, and regularly fund college savings and prudent reserve. When they get their next raises, they are raising the percentage they will put toward retirement. It's a process not an overnight event, but they are on the road to their destination.

 

Another couple (who made even more money than the couple above) couldn't figure out how they were going to quit working. They knew they made really good money but seemed to live right up to the limit. They had savings, they had no debt, and they thought they had it all figured out.

 

They were keeping all the pots full, but didn't know how to reset the process on the income that they'd be receiving in retirement. When we began working together, we discovered that over the years they had learned to operate independently of each other. There were conflicting goals, but they had always had the money to cover them.

 

With the income reduction that retirement represented, it was more important than ever that they come together and figure out what their mutual goals were, focusing their attention and resources on the things that were of most importance to them. I reminded them that anything is possible, just not all at the same time.

 

They started having weekly financial meetings with each other to explore their goals and their current spending. These were facilitated by me in the beginning, and later they continued meeting on their own. She's already retired now, and he found he really didn't want to retire completely but rather cut back on his commitments and hours. They are financial partners again in a future of their own creation.

 

NEXT STEPS

1. Figure out what things in your financial life are causing you stress, the more detailed the better.
2. Begin having weekly financial meetings (with yourself or as a couple if applicable) and pick one thing to work on. Shorter meetings are best (1/2 hour-1 hour max).
3. Write down your successes because as humans we focus on what hasn't happened yet. It's easy to get discouraged because changes in your financial life are a process and not an event.
4. Keep your steps small. That way you'll have more successes faster and less opportunity to hit overwhelm.

 

You can do this yourself. Or you can have a financial partner on your team who has special skills to make your process easier. When you're ready for an expert companion on your financial journey, someone who can accelerate your progress and make it more enjoyable, please sign up for my free Strategy Session. Your financial life will be more stress-free than you can imagine.

 

The Strategy Session isn't a commitment, but rather an exploration of what you want and how to get there more quickly. It's not rocket science, but in my twenty years of experience working with people just like you, I know you will get farther faster when you allow me to help you. Email me today and let's get started!