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The Sunlight & Morning Breeze
by Denise Hedges
Here's a hypothetical question that isn't actually hypothetical.
Could a guy who's married, living in a nice house, at the top of his profession, working at the biggest name on Wall Street, earning several hundred thousand dollars a year doing what he loves, be happier once he finds himself out of a job, divorced by his wife, broke, house gone, and sent to prison for eight years for a crime he didn't commit?
Yes.
I was reading an article by Michael Lewis (The Blind Side ... Moneyball) in Vanity Fair this month. Without getting into the details, the guy who was unjustly sent to jail is glad it happened.
"... you become very much independent of material property and learn to appreciate very simple pleasures in life, such as the sunlight and morning breeze."
It's so completely disproportionate.
We strive, and sometimes struggle ... mightily ... to have more ... to satisfy some ambition, to achieve some dream of happiness, to make our lives more "secure." For what? To put a little whipped cream on top of the magnificent dessert we've already been served?
Let's be clear. There's absolutely nothing wrong with striving for what you want. It's human nature to want more of whatever's important to you ... love, money, influence, respect, wealth, fame, satisfaction, meaning, enjoyment, achievement, security, independence.
You name it. Virtually everybody wants more of something.
But at what point does having more of any of those things make your life materially better than it is ... or could be ... right now?
For those who have little or none, maybe having more would make all the difference. I get that, but for those who are already blessed ...
What price do you have to pay to get the imagined benefit?
After all, are your basic physical needs being met? Do you have enough food and water? Do you have adequate shelter? Are you fairly safe from harm in your immediate environment?
And most of us have far more than just the basics. Do you have indoor plumbing? A comfy mattress? Nice warm shower? Heating and air? A fridge? Washer/Dryer? A car?
If so, you live better than the richest person in the world did 100 years ago.
Do you have to work long hours 6-7 days a week just to survive? Didn't most of us grow up with the opportunities, freedom, and time to do what we wanted to?
Do we not have a wealth of technological marvels that bring us incredible opportunities for learning, and communicating, and enjoying life ... music, dance, shows, sports, travel, and a thousand other things?
We already have one heckuva lot ... the basics, plus comfort, convenience, and a connection to the whole world and everything in it, with virtually endless possibilities.
So, if you're striving to have more and loving it, that's great. Abundance is where it's at.
But if you're struggling to have more of something and it's sapping you, it might help to step back and ask whether the marginal benefit you might achieve in terms of the quality of life is worth what it'll cost you ... in terms of quality of life.
Can you afford the effects of stress on your mind and body? Can you afford to miss out on your kids and grandkids as they grow up? How smart is it to forego the things that make you happy now, because you don't have time ... because you're too busy making money ... so that you'll have the time one day ... to relax and be happy?
Don't assume that more = happier. Happiness is a state of mind, not the possession of a fixed amount of x, y, or z. You can be happy in jail.
As the message in my fortune cookie once said, "If you can't be happy with what you have now, how do you expect to be happy with more?"
You know, you and I probably have all we ever really needed ... right now. More would be lovely, but nothing's ever going to be more lovely than the sunlight and morning breeze.
Love,
Denise
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