|
I Want Dat
by Denise Hedges
My granddaughter turns two next week.
Mom's throwing a pancakes and pajama party for nine or ten of her toddler friends. Can you imagine how cute that's gonna be?
It's not an overnight thing. They come in their PJs and eat pancakes. Her mother's not crazy.
We're helping. Should be a hoot. When I say we, I mean my partner, Tom, and I. She calls me Mama. What do you think she calls him?
Mama. It's hilarious. She holds out her hands for him to pick her up and says, "Mama."
My little one's growing up fast ... too fast. She's now able to tell you exactly what she wants in full sentences complete with a subject, verb, and object.
She's a doll, so she doesn't do it in a demanding way ... most of the time.
I want dat ninny. That was her first complete sentence. Her ninny is her blankie. And she made herself clear. It wasn't just any ninny. It was that ninny!
Actually, a two year old is a wanting machine. And guess what? That aspect of our nature doesn't go away as we get older. It's a big part of who we are. There's a two year old inside each of us and we want things. And I don't mean just material things.
And you know what? That's okay. It's normal and healthy.
But a whole lot of people think that it's not okay somehow. They believe, either consciously or subconsciously, that it's either not right to want things, because that makes you selfish and less than noble and pure ... or it's wrong to want things simply because you set yourself up for disappointment. If you don't have strong desires or any desires period, you can't be disappointed now, can you?
The Buddhists would say that suffering arises from the attachment to desires. I would largely agree, but notice that the key word is attachment ... not desires. Some have lost that distinction and think the key to happiness is to banish desire and not want anything ... at least not anything too big.
Can't be done! Well, unless you're a very unusual person. I can't do it and I'm guessing you can't either. That two-year-old lives inside of us.
And why would you want to? Life is for living, and living involves wanting things and enjoying the anticipation of achieving and receiving them, as well as enjoying the actual attainment. There is no shame in wanting things. It isn't wrong. It doesn't make you a bad person. If you're afflicted with the belief that it does, banish that thought now. Exorcise that demon now.
I really, really, really wanted a grandbaby, and I can't tell you how much joy she's brought to my life. The anticipation of her arrival was great. Her arrival was great, and being with her is great. Should I have not wanted a grandbaby because I would have been disappointed if she never came ... which she almost didn't? Does it seem selfish to want to be a grandma? Nuts to that.
Tom said to me one time ... "You have a lot of wants."
I said, "Thank you." Because to me, when you have a lot of wants, that means you're livin' large.
Do I still have attachments to many of those wants? Sure.
It kind of comes with being human, and that does create disappointment at times. There's no denying that, but that's a part of living too. Being happy doesn't mean your life is always peaches and cream. But mostly what I get from the simple, intentional act of wanting is richness and joy in my life.
So don't hold back. Want what you want without reservation. Ask for it. Believe you're gonna get it ... and allow it to arrive. That's how good things come to you.
If you'll do that, it'll bring you such satisfaction and such fulfillment.
And my two year old wants that for you.
Love,
Denise
| 
