What are you tolerating right now in your life?

The above question is tucked into a questionnaire that I give to all new clients as part of the on-boarding process. As innocuous as it might appear to be, it actually can be one of the most insightful tools to help clients uncover the root cause of what might be blocking them from achieving their goals.

Here is how dictionary.com defines tolerance:
'to endure, put up with, or allow without prohibiting'.  

A few synonyms listed are:
'let, permit, condone, pardon, suffer, disregard, endure, and allow'.  

Not a very compelling or energizing state of being for the long term, agreed?

In our practical reality, we all must tolerate something or someone at some point in our life....it's impossible to escape.   That said, though, there are limits to tolerance. You can only 'endure, put up with, or pardon' something or someone for so long.   

I propose you consider the state of being tolerant to be one that is temporary. A short term strategy, if you will, that leads you closer toward success (as you define it) and steers your thoughts from 'tolerance' toward 'acceptance'.    

Beware though, it can also be an avoidance tactic.  One that can be deceptively presented in a seemingly admirable way ("I am a very tolerant person which makes me easy to work with.") but which could lead you from 'tolerance' to 'resentment' if you are not careful.  

So, how can you use the 'what are you tolerating' question to help you know the difference?   The answer lies not so much in what you are tolerating but in why.    

If you are tolerating something as a mindful decision that furthers a greater, more expansive purpose, your answers might sound something like this:
- It creates a direct pathway to achieve a specific goal of mine.
- It directly moves me in the direction I want to ultimately be going.
- It opens me up for development that is necessary to achieve my mission.
- It doesn't hinder my ability to focus on the bigger picture.

If you are tolerating something because it somehow feeds into your own limiting beliefs or fears about yourself or situation, your answers might sound something like this:
- I am terrible at conflict or confrontation.
- I couldn't change it even if I tried.
- Why rock the boat? It will only make things worse. 
- My personal satisfaction is not really that important anyway.

Viewed the first way, your tolerance places your focus on your purpose, your power, and your goals. Viewed the second way, your tolerance places your focus on your perceived limitations and lack of control.

 Be unflinchingly honest with yourself on how you answer the followup question:  'Why are you tolerating (that)?  

Your answer will hold important clues for you to think about as you work to clear the roadblocks toward your personal goals.