Understanding Your Congregation's Culture

"I suddenly realized why some women wouldn't enter the pastor's study."

"The average pastoral tenure over this congregation's 200 years of history has been only around five years!  What is going on?"

"Board members aren't ever able to make a decision when a motion is made in a meeting.  They always have to wait at least a month or so.  Why?"

"When I came here as a new pastor, people talked about how friendly this congregation is, but many newcomers have told me that I'm about the only person who speaks to them in the coffee time after worship.  Yet members have been warm to me and my family.  What gives?"

When you find yourself encountering bewildering behaviors there is almost always something going on beneath the surface.  Words may say one thing, but actions quite another. 

How do you deal with these maddening behaviors that are so often very negative?

Not quite a month ago I had my right knee replaced.  I'd had trouble with it for several years with meniscus repair, injections of WD-40 for joints, exercise, etc. to try to remedy problems.  But last fall I started having trouble with severe muscle cramps in my left leg.  I went to my doctor, described my symptoms, got an MRI and then returned to him for the diagnosis.  It seems that the presenting symptoms - the cramps in my left leg - were caused by pain in my right knee.  There was no more cartilage in the knee; it was bone spur on bone.  The knee was shot. I compensated for the pain in my right knee by depending more on left leg. There wasn't any choice.  I got it replaced.  So now I'm recuperating, taking pain killers, doing physical therapy, sleeping a lot, and getting my strength back! 

Dealing with strange behaviors in your congregation requires some scientific digging.  What are the symptoms again?  What might cause them?  Only after some good research can you hope to identify the real problem or problems and start dealing with it.

George B. Thompson, Jr., in his book How to Get Along With Your Pastor: Creating Partnership for Doing Ministry,  uses imagery of a swamp to describe a congregation's culture.  There's all that you can see - trees, plants, alligators, etc.  In a congregation you observe behaviors, decor, the general condition of facilities, attire, etc.  You hear particular expressions - music, phrases, affirmations etc - appropriate to the congregation's heritage and setting.  You may or may not understand what you see and why it is there.  In the water are what he describes as the "sayings".  These are how the congregation describes itself.  "we are friendly.  We are a Bible based church.  We are mission oriented."  These "sayings" may or may not be consistent with what you observe.

Under the water is the mud and muck.  It is there that you find the submerged beliefs.  "This submerged material consists of deeply held beliefs that have almost no religious character of their own.  Furthermore, they exist for the most part outside of the church's conscious awareness.  They are assumed to be true in a nonnegotiable way." (pp. 6-7)

How do you identify these submerged beliefs?  Or, put another way, what are the norms of your congregation?

Norms are the typically unspoken values and beliefs that guide a congregation.Every organization or system has norms, beliefs, standards, and expectations that are sometimes explicitly stated but often not written anywhere. You often find out about norms when you accidentally break one. Families have norms. My parents raised me to hold doors open for women or those older than I (although people who were born after 1980 might find that norm rather quaint). Family holiday celebrations are fraught with opportunities for a newcomer to accidentally break a cherished norm. ("Did you notice that he started eating before Daddy?!")

Sometimes norms are constructive, sometimes not. "In this family we put a high priority on studying and getting good grades!" is an example of a generally constructive norm. The belief that white people were inherently superior to African-Americans was a destructive norm that still haunts our society. I suspect you can list norms that govern your family.

Consider the examples with which I  began this article. 

#1 was a congregation where the male pastor had engaged in sexual misconduct - in his study.  The norm had become "don't trust the pastor.  You never know what he's going to do!"

#2 is a semi-rural congregation in which a few powerful families controlled everything.  When pastors began gaining enough power and credibility to challenge their dominance, they managed to get rid of them.  For all those years the norm has been "don't let the pastor get too much power."

#3 represents those congregations with the norm that one or two very powerful people must be consulted before any significant decision is made.  If those persons aren't on the board, then no decision can be made.

#4 is typical of so many congregations who maintain they are friendly.  Their real norm is "we are really friendly with each other but take our own sweet time with newcomers."

As you reflect on puzzling behavior, try writing out the norms of your congregation in simple declarative sentences.

Examples of congregational norms that I have seen or heard of include the following:

• If you have a problem in this congregation, there's no point in going to the pastor or board. They aren't going to listen to you anyway. You need to start stomping and screaming right away!
• We take care of each other when someone is really sick or hurt, but good luck if you have a minor condition. You're on your own.
• The pastor/finance chair/Mrs. Jones (who gives lots of money) controls everything.
• We don't like change.
• We handle change well if we have a chance to really talk about it.
• We are friendly to each other but not so much to newcomers. People have to be members for ten years to really become part of this congregation.
• The pastoris an employee, almost a flunky.
• The pastor is our spiritual leader.
• This congregation calls strong pastors and then fights with them!
• Our congregation sings the best classical music in the area.
• We are on the cutting edge of new worship forms.
• We have a dynamite youth program, and everything else is subordinate.
• We are a congregation of small groups, not a congregation with small groups.
• We are a poor congregation, so we don't take care of either our building or pastor.

I have found that taking time to write out norms helps me see the congregation much more clearly.   After you develop a list of norms, test your hypotheses.  You might even intentionally break one and see what happens.  (obviously you shouldn't do something to get yourself fired!) Then have a conversation with leaders about what you observe and your hunches.  Get them to develop a list of the norms they are aware of.

It is only after you identify these norms that  you can start addressing them.  First describe and affirm all the positive norms.  People love to celebrate what they are doing well.  Then you can start addressing some of the negative norms, perhaps using appropriate scriptures.  Think of all the trouble Jesus stirred up when he described the negative norms of the religious leaders of his day!  Use the scriptures as a mirror to help you and the congregation see yourselves more clearly. 

Then you can start taking measures to replace these negative norms with more positive ones.  Invite congregational leaders to take specific actions that demonstrate these positive norms.  For example, a negative norm might be "faith is a personal matter."  That belief shows up when leaders are unable to pray out loud - even for each other.  A simple practice to teach them a new norm is to ask them to pray for each other by name as they conclude a meeting.  Encourage them to be specific.  "Lord, please strengthen Sue next week as she starts her new job."  "O God, guide the surgeon's hands as she operates on Fred tomorrow."

Diagnose the situation by trying to write out the unwritten and unspoken norms of the congregation.

Explore the validity of your hunches by discussing them with leaders, even intentionally violating some.

With leaders, develop some more positive norms and discuss these new practices with the congregation.  Try new behaviors.

Good luck understanding your congregation's culture!

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