September 2013    
Harris Coaching and Consulting            
Thoughts for Leadership and Life
    
In This Issue
Clarify Expectations!
Resource - The War Prayer

FAQ'S about Coaching?

Join Our Mailing List

Friends and Colleagues,


Autumn has begun with the new school year and, for most congregations, the real church year (despite what liturgical calendars say).  And many congregations do some kind of end-of-the-year evaluation of their pastors.  
 
I am troubled that many evaluations depend on the whim of whomever is on the personnel committee and aren't based on any clear expectations for the pastor.  My main article describes a process by which you may develop clear expectations for next year.  
 
This issue's resource isn't new.  In fact it's over a century old!  But it is amazingly current.
 
If you know someone who might benefit from coaching and/or my thoughts here, please use the "Forward to a Friend" button in the newsletter (that way you'll avoid problems with spam filters) 
 

Here's to clarity about how God is leading us!  

Peace,      
Bob
  



Clarifying Mutual Expectations - A Workshop 

 

I think it's very important to regularly develop mutual expectations for a pastor's top priorities. To do that you need to try to figure out what congregational members expect, but most importantly, clarify what board members expect of you and each other. How varied are the expectations? And how realistic? Are there common wishes, hopes, and needs?

 

Many pastors get into difficulty because they don't take time to have a good conversation with leaders about mutual expectations and top priorities. Pastors blissfully follow their particular interests, ignoring what key leaders think is really important. If you don't take time to clarify expectations, then you are bound to disappoint a number of key members. They will then lose trust in their pastor.

 

Conversely, when the board and pastor are clear on priorities and communicate the priorities to the congregation and the pastor spends time and energy in accordance with these priorities, then trust will build. You will be seen as a leader who both has strong character and is competent. So, how do you clarify expectations?

 

Here is an approach to clarifying priorities I have used for clients and for myself. It is best done in a half-day retreat or meeting involving both board members and other key leaders. You might invite a coach or consultant or judicatory staff member to lead the retreat.  (this is adapted from my nearly completed book aimed at pastors new to a parish so it is written directly to pastors)

 

1. Open with prayer and a trust building exercise. (15 minutes)

 

2. Ask participants to individually list what they expect you to do and to note roughly how many hours/week they expect you to spend on that task. You might give them your job description or what was developed in the pastor search process or a denominational list of pastoral responsibilities. (5 minutes)

 

3. Quickly compile the results and estimate the total number of hours per week their expectations would require you to work.  When I've done this, the total hours often top 100! (5 minutes)

 

4. Discuss what you see in their list, and then invite them to describe what they see. Note similarities and variations in their expectations. (10 minutes)

 

5. List 10 to 15 responsibilities, each on a separate sheet of 11"x17" paper, and tape these on a wall. I suggest that you prepare around 8 to 12 sheets in advance identifying typical expectations (for example, sermon and worship preparation, leadership, teaching an adult Bible class, evangelism). Also add expectations that were on the congregational profile that was prepared for the pastor search process and any you heard several identify as you interviewed leaders using the Eleven Curious Questions. (for a copy of these, email me) Invite the leaders to add other expectations to the sheets on the wall. Post them too. Invite participants to reflect on the array of expectations before them. Invite questions for clarification about the meaning of specific expectations.

 

 I encourage you to limit the sheets on the wall to no more than 15. Be sure to summarize and combine expectations that are similar. It's better to post one sheet saying "sermon and worship preparation" than two sheets with "sermon preparation" on one and "worship planning and preparation" on the other.(20 minutes)

 

6. Instruct the participants to each indicate what they think the top six priorities should be for you in your first year by writing their name on six of these sheets. I suggest that you tell them that after they make their selections, they may take a ten-minute break.

 

7. In the total group, review the voting and identify the top four to six priorities, and have a conversation about why these are most important. If the congregation did a mission/vision study during its search process or has done one recently, reflect on how study findings correlate with the priorities the board just identified.

 

Discuss what these top priorities likely mean you will and won't do in the next year (recognizing that surprises always happen). Invite conversation about how board members will respond when members complain about something they think you should be doing. For example, Mr. Jones may have expected you to visit his home-bound wife monthly, but the board and you agree that quarterly visits are sufficient, since other members are visiting her. Instead of visiting home-bound persons so frequently, you and the board have agreed that, in an effort to welcome newcomers, you will visit every newcomer to worship. Or perhaps you and the board determine that you should spend eight hours a week with musicians and a contemporary worship planning team to begin a new service or strengthen an existing one.

 

Most important, you and board members agree that if members complain that you haven't met their expectations and in fact you have been meeting these mutually agreed expectations, the board supports your focus and use of time. (30 minutes)

 

8. Discuss how your focusing on these priorities directly affects how you will work with leaders and various committees. For example, previous pastors may have been expected to attend every committee meeting. These priorities might mean that you won't normally attend the property committee meeting but that the chair of the committee will talk with you about plans and any issues they are dealing with. Perhaps you and they will explore having an all committee evening at which you will attend portions of the meetings as necessary. If there has been staff dissension and the board wants you to spend significant time strengthening staff relationships, then you might not have time to teach an adult class, and so the education committee will have to arrange for someone else to teach that class. Take time to be clear about what you expect of each other. (20 minutes)

 

9. Clarify how achieving these top priorities will be measured. For example, if you are fairly new to the congregation, board members and you might agree that the most important thing is for you to talk with most of the church members as soon as possible. Together you might set a goal that by the end of your first year, you will have had conversations with 75 percent of the active members. (20 minutes)

 

10. Request that the board pass a motion naming these priorities and that the appropriate lay leaders communicate these priorities to the congregation through varied media (e.g., newsletter, email, oral announcement). Also request that the Personnel Committee adapt its appraisal instrument to reflect these priorities.

 

If you take time to develop mutual expectations with the board and communicate these priorities clearly, then members know what to expect, thus building trust as you meet the expectations.


 

If you would like some help setting up such a retreat or simply want to grow in your leadership ability, I encourage you to consider coaching, either one on one or in a group. Most of my coaching is done by phone in order to minimize commuting, but I make exceptions.

 

If you find this article helpful and think it might be helpful to a friend, please forward my newsletter to that friend using the "Forward to a Friend" button.  

 

 

Resources - books and other resources that have been helpful  
 

Mark Twain's - The War Prayer 

 

 

I have been reading (or re-reading) some of the classic authors - Charles Dickens, Lewis Carroll, and Mark Twain - on my Kindle.  Being of Scottish descent, I welcome bargains.  I have purchased several collections of these authors for a few dollars each.  I never fail to be amazed, amused, and struck by how their insights still apply! 

 

A particularly apt example as Congress considers bombing Syria is Mark Twain's, The War Prayer.  He wrote this in 1905 as an expression of his concern about the Philippine American war.  Harper's Bazaar rejected it as "not quite suited for a women's magazine."  Since he was under contract with Harper's he couldn't publish it elsewhere so it wasn't published until after his death.  Twain reminds us all to be very mindful of what we pray for.

 

Here is Twain's The War Prayer (this is readily available in PDF form on the internet)

 

It was a time of great and exalting excitement. The country was up in arms, the war was on, in every breast burned the holy fire of patriotism; the drums were beating, the bands playing, the toy pistols popping, the bunched firecrackers hissing and spluttering; on every hand and far down the receding and fading spread of roofs and balconies a fluttering wilderness of flags flashed in the sun; daily the young volunteers marched down the wide avenue gay and fine in their new uniforms, the proud fathers and mothers and sisters and sweethearts cheering them with voices choked with happy emotion as they swung by; nightly the packed mass meetings listened, panting, to patriot oratory which stirred the deepest deeps of their hearts, and which they interrupted at briefest intervals with cyclones of applause, the tears running down their cheeks the while; in the churches the pastors preached devotion to flag and country, and invoked the God of Battles beseeching His aid in our good cause in outpourings of fervid eloquence which moved every listener. It was indeed a glad and gracious time, and the half dozen rash spirits that ventured to disapprove of the war and cast a doubt upon its righteousness straightway got such a stern and angry warning that for their personal safety's sake they quickly shrank out of sight and offended no more in that way.

 

Sunday morning came - next day the battalions would leave for the front; the church was filled; the volunteers were there, their young faces alight with martial dreams - visions of the stern advance, the gathering momentum, the rushing charge, the flashing sabers, the flight of the foe, the tumult, the enveloping smoke, the fierce pursuit, the surrender! Then home from the war, bronzed heroes, welcomed, adored, submerged in golden seas of glory! With the volunteers sat their dear ones, proud, happy, and envied by the neighbors and friends who had no sons and brothers to send forth to the field of honor, there to win for the flag, or, failing, die the noblest of noble deaths. The service proceeded; a war chapter from the Old Testament was read; the first prayer was said; it was followed by an organ burst that shook the building, and with one impulse the house rose, with glowing eyes and beating hearts, and poured out that tremendous invocation

 

God the all-terrible! Thou who ordainest! Thunder thy clarion and lightning thy sword!

 

Then came the "long" prayer. None could remember the like of it for passionate pleading and moving and beautiful language. The burden of its supplication was, that an ever-merciful and benignant Father of us all would watch over our noble young soldiers, and aid, comfort, and encourage them in their patriotic work; bless them, shield them in the day of battle and the hour of peril, bear them in His mighty hand, make them strong and confident, invincible in the bloody onset; help them to crush the foe, grant to them and to their flag and country imperishable honor and glory -

 

An aged stranger entered and moved with slow and noiseless step up the main aisle, his eyes fixed upon the minister, his long body clothed in a robe that reached to his feet, his head bare, his white hair descending in a frothy cataract to his shoulders, his seamy face unnaturally pale, pale even to ghastliness. With all eyes following him and wondering, he made his silent way; without pausing, he ascended to the preacher's side and stood there waiting. With shut lids the preacher, unconscious of his presence, continued with his moving prayer, and at last finished it with the words, uttered in fervent appeal, "Bless our arms, grant us the victory, O Lord our God, Father and Protector of our land and flag!"

 

The stranger touched his arm, motioned him to step aside - which the startled minister did - and took his place. During some moments he surveyed the spellbound audience with solemn eyes, in which burned an uncanny light; then in a deep voice he said:

 

"I come from the Throne - bearing a message from Almighty God!" The words smote the house with a shock; if the stranger perceived it he gave no attention. "He has heard the prayer of His servant your shepherd, and will grant it if such shall be your desire after I, His messenger, shall have explained to you its import - that is to say, its full import. For it is like unto many of the prayers of men, in that it asks for more than he who utters it is aware of - except he pause and think.

 

"God's servant and yours has prayed his prayer. Has he paused and taken thought? Is it one prayer? No, it is two - one uttered, the other not. Both have reached the ear of Him Who heareth all supplications, the spoken and the unspoken. Ponder this - keep it in mind. If you would beseech a blessing upon yourself, beware! lest without intent you invoke a curse upon a neighbor at the same time. If you pray for the blessing of rain upon your crop which needs it, by that act you are possibly praying for a curse upon some neighbor's crop which may not need rain and can be injured by it.

 

"You have heard your servant's prayer - the uttered part of it. I am commissioned of God to put into words the other part of it - that part which the pastor - and also you in your hearts - fervently prayed silently. And ignorantly and unthinkingly? God grant that it was so! You heard these words: 'Grant us the victory, O Lord our God!' That is sufficient. the whole of the uttered prayer is compact into those pregnant words. Elaborations were not necessary. When you have prayed for victory you have prayed for many unmentioned results which follow victory - must follow it, cannot help but follow it. Upon the listening spirit of God fell also the unspoken part of the prayer. He commandeth me to put it into words. Listen!

 

"O Lord our Father, our young patriots, idols of our hearts, go forth to battle - be Thou near them! With them - in spirit - we also go forth from the sweet peace of our beloved firesides to smite the foe. O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it - for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.

 

(After a pause.) "Ye have prayed it; if ye still desire it, speak! The messenger of the Most High waits!" It was believed afterward that the man was a lunatic, because there was no sense in what he said. ________

 

------------ 

 

 

What books or resources have you found
 helpful?  I'd be glad (with available space) to share your reviews and/or suggestions.  
Future Issues (bi-monthly)
  • November 2013 - Describe Reality and Start a Conversation!

            
  • Click here for previous newsletters 

I hope you have found this newsletter informative and helpful.  Please subscribe to continue receiving it (or unsubscribe to stop).  If you'd like to explore coaching, please email or call me.

If you have found it helpful, please forward it to friends who you think would appreciate it. (And please use the forward button on the newsletter itself.



Bob
Robert Harris, Professional Certified Coach
Harris Coaching and Consulting

703-470-9841