"Nightmares and Sabbath Keeping"

From time to time we all suffer from bad dreams and nightmares. We all know that dreams are usually filled with strange, jumbled up, perplexing, and often confusing imagery. It seems to me that many of us don't bother to pay much, if any attention to our dreams. For some reason we are actually afraid to consider those dim recollections with which we awaken in the morning, and by the time we've finished breakfast usually those dreams have altogether fled from our conscious minds. Unfortunately, sometimes it's through our dreams that our subconscious mind is trying to speak with us about those issues and problems in our lives that have been troubling us. And, if we don't address our dreams they may come back to haunt us in subsequent evenings.

 One night I had real a nightmare; I dreamt that after Church one Sunday I went back to the office and took off my stole and my robe only to find that I was wearing yet another full set of vestments underneath! With frustration, I proceeded to take off this second stole and robe only to find a third layer of clerical vestments on underneath them! In my dream, I kept removing layer after layer of vestments: endless processions of robes, albs, stoles, and clerical collars, with no end in sight, until my cat jumped up on the bed and woke me from my thrashing. Of course, I was tangled up underneath my covers and sweating profusely, but the dream stuck in my mind even many hours later, when I was eating breakfast and reading my "dream journal."

It's not hard to draw insight from this kind of a nightmare. There are many ways that can become smothered by the layers of work and the tangling responsibilities of our professional lives. Be we farmers, construction workers, lawyers, teachers, doctors, bus drivers, secretaries, insurance agents, preachers, or whatever, it does not matter ... we can all become so trapped in our daily routines that we cannot find a way out. This was my dilemma. It had been nearly 7 months since I had taken any substantial time off, with 30 weeks of weddings, funerals, Emmaus Walks, pastoral counseling sessions, emergency hospital visits, research and study, administrative details, Sunday school lessons, Disciple Bible Study sessions, and sermons, all piled high on top of me. The weight of the pastorate, along with the many personal crises that can come to the surface when under pressures like these, had pressed down upon me, tangled me up, and smothered me under the weight of my responsibilities. And, so, my subconscious was beginning to doubt that there was really any me underneath the layers of clergy vestments. Layer after layer of robes and stoles, and still no me to be distinguished from all the trappings of the pastorate. "Was this really true? Is there really no me, to be found under my vestments any more?" These were the kinds of questions that I was asking myself after waking up from that nightmare.

Sometimes we need to get away from our work. Sometimes we need to back away from our normal, day-to-day routine and simply spend a little Sabbath time reflecting upon our lives and the calling that God has for us. Sometimes it's a good idea to "escape" for a few days and spend time hiking in the mountains, or on a beach somewhere, building sand castles, playing in the surf, and spending hours talking with friends and family. Sometimes we need to recreate and rest and recharge our internal spiritual and emotional batteries. There is nothing wrong with this. I have known friends who have burned themselves out in ministry by being so busy taking care of others that they forgot to take care of themselves through appropriate use of Sabbath time. After that nightmare I was determined to not allow such to happen to me. So, I took off the vestments and forced myself to take some rest and retreat time. I forced myself to observe a personal Sabbath, and also take some vacation.

And, you know something, when it came time for me to put on the robe and the stole the next time ... it was easy! And ... there was only one layer.

Rev. Greg Neal

Community Spiritual Director

Dallas Men's Walk #97, Table of Luke