Were there ever a perfect candidate to enjoy retirement, the young man (only retired for two years) I interviewed today would be my choice. As to why I would make so bold a statement, it is because of that intangible but controllable factor in all of our lives--and that factor is ATTITUDE. Richard has a fantastic attitude!
Richard was drafted into the Army at age 19, went to Vietnam, met and married a beautiful Vietnamese gal who, 50 years later, is still an ageless beauty. Richard and his bride, Thuy, returned to northern New Jersey where they raised their daughter; then they made their decision to move to what they considered paradise - Hawaii. As Thuy described their home, the ocean was in the front yard and a golf course in their back yard.
Richard worked for the State of Hawaii, Department of Labor and Industrial Relations, as an accountant and auditor for the Oahu Branch and taught accounting at two local colleges.
When I asked why they left Hawaii to come to Florida, he gave four reasons:
1) Expense--Hawaii is a very expensive place to live;
2) Limited travel opportunities on the Island;
3) Being closer to their daughter, and most importantly,
4) Friends. In Florida, Thuy has a large contingent of Vietnamese friends, and Richard has a large contingent of their GI husbands.
Thuy and her friends meet frequently each week--for karaoke, cards, Vietnamese food cooking, going to art shows, local entertainment, and so much more. Likewise, Richard and his buddies hang out together--watch football, go to the movies, go to a lecture, or just hang out.
Another frequently stated necessity for a happy retirement is FRIENDS! Richard attributes a huge part of enjoying retirement to his friends. As he said, "No friends, no activity."
Richard appears to be an easy going, warm, easy-to-talk-to, good-looking man who totally enjoys being around people and doing things. He plays in a senior softball league where their pitcher is 94! He enjoys cruises because there is so much to do, so much to see, and so many new people to meet.
What Richard most values in his retirement are two things in particular: no time table and more opportunity to travel. From their early days of taking cruises on small ships, they have graduated to large, luxurious ships which they hop on whenever they can. Being flexible in order to travel is one reason Richard hasn't continued teaching college courses in the area.
The only thing he misses in his retirement are the people he worked with--what he called his "second family."
His more serious involvement is helping with the Wounded Warrior Project, a natural selection for someone who served in battle. He would also like to get back into coaching--as long as it didn't interfere with his travel, especially cruise schedules.
Richard hadn't thought about retirement until the time came. He didn't realize how different it would be being home home 24/7 and the effect it would have on his wife who was used to her freedom. Obvious adjustments had to be made.
When asked what advice he would give to those considering retirement, he said, "Enjoy yourself, and do it with friends." And he does what he advises.
OBSERVATIONS We have interviewed a number of people, and among the most mentioned pieces of advice that always seems to rise to the top are:
1) Attitude--how you choose to respond to retirement and
2) Friends--people with whom you can enjoy your retirement.
Our findings from the interviews we have had over the years are not reinventions of the wheel. Common themes constantly emerge just as constant themes arose for palliative nurse, Bonnie Ware, who wrote the book, The Five Regrets of the Dying, in which she lists the five regrets:
- Be true to yourself. Live a life true to you. (Retirement offers that opportunity.)
- I wish I hadn't worked so hard. (Make up for that lost time now-in retirement!)
- I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings. (You can now.)
- I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends. (Perfect-rekindle old friends and make new ones!)
- I wish I had let myself be happier. (Now's the time!!)
I started with the importance of ATTITUDE which Richard exemplifies, and I end with The Five Regrets you can remedy while you are healthy--with ATTITUDE!
As Wade Boggs said, "A positive attitude causes a chain reaction of positive thoughts, events and outcomes. It is a catalyst, and it sparks extraordinary results." And it makes retirement a wonderful phase of our lives!
