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Having an opportunity to talk with people who share our retired phase is fun and rewarding. When we hear what others say about things they love about retirement and things they wish they could do, we are validated in our perceptions to this special time in our lives. Hopefully, you will become a bit introspective after reading this issue of our e-zine. We would love to hear from you regarding how you are handling retirement--loving it/hating it? and why. When we hear the stories of others, we often become stronger in our own convictions. There is no one best way to retire. For today, ask yourself, "How would you like this phase of your life look?" Can you create a picture in your mind of your ideal day? If you can, you are well on your way to creating the experience you desire. If you would like to share where you are in creating your best retirement experience, we would love to hear from you! Happy October, Ed and Gail
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The Road Not Taken
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The journey of life is not paved in blacktop; it is not brightly lit, and it has no road signs. It is a rocky path through the wilderness.
- M. Scott Peck, The Road Not Taken
Through our interviews over the past few years, we have heard a variety of reactions from those considering retirement or those already retired. Most people had positive reactions, but we wondered if others would have the same types of responses. As a result, we've decided to change the format of our interview block from covering one person each month to asking a variety of people specific questions. We are not seeking a consensus; rather we are looking for reactions to which others can relate.
This month's question is purely a speculative one.... "In hindsight, what might you have done differently in your life to better prepare yourself for retirement?" The "what" could be a decision you made, a personal characteristic you would change, a circumstance, anything that would have taken you in a different direction.
On September 20, 2015, in a Parade Magazine article, Walter Scott asked movie star Don Johnson (Sonny Crockett on "Miami Vice," then Nash Bridges on "San Francisco") a question..... "Looking back on your life, is there anything you would change?"
Don Johnson replied, "I wish I'd have become a little more aware of how full of fear, ego and ambition I was, and how I let a lot of that drive the bus."
When we asked those we interviewed what advice they would give someone about to retire, the most frequent response was "Make sure you have a plan." We then broadened our topic and asked, "Is there any part of your personal history you would like to rewrite?"
When I asked this question of a friend, she responded by sending a lengthy document listing the "What if's"in her life. "What if I hadn't taken the job with XYZ Corp.?"followed by "Answer:"and a supposition of how her road would/could have ended. She wrote three pages of "What if's." Do you have a mental "What if" list? What do you wish you would have done differently?
Two well known pieces of literature were mentioned by those asked the "What would you have done differently" question. The first is the poem by Robert Frost, "The Road Not Taken" and the second is the novel by Scott Peck, The Road Less Traveled. In Peck's book, one line in particular resonated-- "All my life I used to wonder what I would become when I grew up. Then, about seven years ago, I realized that I was never going to grow up--that growing is an ever ongoing process." That is an up-lifting thought. We are still growing and learning and making choices about our futures.
If we are truly "ever growing," why not take advantage of that thought, acknowledge what you would have done differently and then, if what you think you should have done is still a possibility, do it now.
"If we know exactly where we're going, exactly how to get there, and exactly what we'll see along the way, we won't learn anything." Now may be the time to broader our horizons and learn new lessons, but first we have to acknowledge what we would have changed. Most of us will acknowledge that we have some things we might have, with the luxury of reflection, done differently. What are those "things?"
As M. Scott Peck said in The Road Less Traveled, "We must be willing to fail and to appreciate the truth that often life is not a problem to be solved, but a mystery to be lived." That is a far more exciting way to few roads not taken, even in retirement.
As we said in our opening, we would love to hear your stories!!
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Thought for the Month
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Because we are living, on average, 34 years longer than our great-grandparents did, perhaps we should look at this part of our lives as our Third Act and utilize these precious years in a way we want to now that many pressures of life are gone.
In a recent Ted Talk, the speaker talked how we are all born with spirit that sometimes gets tamped down beneath the challenges of life. When she read Viktor Frankl's book, Man's Search for Meaning, the idea of strengthening our spirits came to her, something we all can relate to.
Frankl, a prisoner during World War II, wrote, "Everything you have in life can be taken from you except one thing--your freedom to choose how you will respond to the situation. This is what determines the quality of the life we've lived--not whether we've been rich or poor, famous or unknown, healthy or suffering. What determines our quality of life is how we relate to these realities, what kind of meaning we assign them, what kind of attitude we cling to about them, what state of mind we allow them to trigger."
Perhaps the central purpose of our Third Act is to go back and to try, if appropriate, to change our relationship to the past. If we can maintain the more positive feelings about the past, that becomes the new norm--like resetting a thermostat. Reflecting on our experiences is what makes us wise and enables us to live the life we want to life right now!
Look at your past in order to learn from it, then decide what you want to do with this one third of your life. When you do, you are then prepared to live your next best phase--Act Three!
Again, sharing is a wonderful thing! We would love to hear from you! How are you living your Third Act?
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| QUOTE OF THE MONTH Article Headline |
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CAN YOU NAME THE YEAR?
- Year end close of the Dow Jones Industrial Average was 652- Price of a gallon of gas was $ .32- Hotline established between the U.S. and Russia following the Cuban Missal Crisis- Marilyn Monroe dies of a drug overdose- Spider Man appears for the first time in Marvel Comic book- John Glenn becomes the first American to orbit the Earth- Johnny Carson begins his run as host of The Tonight Show- The Beatles record their first hit record "Love Me Do"- Jamaica gains independence from Great Britain- Polio vaccine invented by Albert Sabin
| SEE ANSWER IN NEXT BLOCK
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A BIT OF HUMOR
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Harry, a long time Catholic and personal friend of the parish priest is in a quandary. His favorite football team is playing on Sunday at the same time as the mass being said by his priest friend. He tells his friend his problem and the priest says, "Harry, no worries. Today there are recorders for viewing and listening to anything at a later time for just such conflicts as this."
Harry says, "Oh thank goodness. I had no idea you recorded mass for later viewing."
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The answer to "Can You Name the Year" is 1962
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Gail Cassidy, gail@coachability.com; (908) 654-5216
http://www.Retired-NextPhase.com
Ed Topar, edtopar@gmail.com |  |
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