Have you ever wondered why you are the way you are? I have? I wonder why people (spouses, friends, strangers) respond to situations so differently than I do. I mull this over as I try to understand those close to me and even extend it beyond those I know, even foreign political leaders who endanger their own countrymen. Why?

The more I thought about this puzzle, the more I found pictures forming in my head of blocks of life; and from each block I saw lessons emerge. I believe it is from the lessons learned in each phase of life that we become who we are, including values and character traits.

For example, a vague memory block for me is preschool years--
hens in the back yard, moving to a row house near the trolley tracks, playing with my older, frail brother. Of course there is more, but I believe one trait I developed during this block of time was strength--playing with an older sibling but also protecting him from bullies in the neighborhood.

Elementary school included dancing school, scoldings for talking too much, and comparisons to my perfect older brother. At ten, I was the one in charge of two younger siblings--one ten years younger, one six years younger. From that I certainly learned responsibility.

It goes on: high school, college, teaching job, IBM, raising children, part time jobs, extensive volunteerism, jobs 2, 3, 4, then retirement! Within each block, lessons were learned and values emerged, values that impact who I am and how I act.

Recently I actually drew the boxes and filled them with the activities that dominated each segment of my life. Activities are one thing; lessons learned are another. From the two combined, a value or character trait emerges. In essence, I am assuming that each character trait developed in a block is why I am who I am. Of course, there are other things to consider, such as heredity, genes, parenting, circumstances, opportunities, luck, fate, etc.; but you may be surprised at what you learn about yourself, especially at this point in life.

I know I would want to know what I am holding onto that is lessening the enjoyment of my life. Once aware of a character trait you possess and why you possess it, you then have the opportunity to make the choice to change it or not. Awareness is always the first step. We all always have a choice regarding how we react to situations. If we change our thoughts, we can change our world--an old adage but very apropos.

To get started with your own personal analysis, it is sometimes easier to listen to a friend or spouse talk about times in their lives and from what they are saying, you can deduce the character trait and/or value they adopted, consciously or unconsciously.

I have a friend whom I totally admire and respect. I've known him for three-quarters of my life, and from him, I've learned through reflection a great deal about myself. While I enjoy reflecting and love to study people, he does not. From which block of life did he adopt that character trait, and why am I the opposite? Who knows.

The general areas that I learned from him include his character traits and values related to 1) Self Reliance, 2) Discipline (an area where I need a lot of work!), 3) Interpersonal Skills, 4) Independence, 5) Mien, and 6) Philosophical outlook on life.

The specifics within each category are where you find the essence of the person. For example, under the Philosophical category, some of his characteristics and values I observed were
1) What you have is what you want,
2) Accept what is; don't over analyze,
3) Be objective,
4) The past is over - look ahead;
5) Live for the future,
6) Don't let things brew.
7) Ask, "What does it matter?"
8) Do what is right and ignore what people say,
9) Have a variety of interests,
10) Analyze, then feel,
11) Don't waste time reading about what you already know,
12) The ideal spouse shares at least five of your most important values.

The point of sharing these 12 values with you is not to get agreement; the point is to recognize the other person's values and how they effect him or her. Values are only true values if the person walks his talk. This person does walk his talk, and, as a result, he enjoys what he chooses to do. He creates his own opportunities. He is disciplined. He has chosen the path he finds best for him. He is savoring this next phase!

Observation and reality are not always the same. These are merely what I observed. My friend is not perfect. He has his share of peccadilloes as we all do. The secret is not to let them take over.

What value or character trait did you adopt during each block of your life? I challenge you to sit down, draw your blocks and fill them in. See what emerges!

Everything we have in our modern world is the result of desire. Desire is the motivating force of life itself.

Desire is the generating power of all human action. The sharper, the more urgent the desire, the sooner its consummation. Starting with desire, keep in mind that with the magic of believing, you can obtain what you picture in your mind's eye. The mechanics are for the purpose of helping you to focus sharply on your desire/picture on the screen of your subconscious mind, as well as to enable you to shut off and keep out all distracting thoughts, negative ideas, or any fear or doubt projections that might otherwise penetrate to your subconscious.

Mechanics:  Find three 3x5" index cards. Ask yourself what you desire above everything else. At the top of one card write a word picture on it. One or two words may be sufficient. Then copy the same words onto the other cards. Carry one card in your wallet, one next to your bed and one taped to your mirror. The idea is to enable you to see mentally the picture at all hours of the day. Just before going to sleep at night and upon waking in the mornings, concentrate upon your thoughts with added force. The more often you can visualize the desire by this method, the speedier the materialization.

Just leave it to the subconscious mind, which has its own ways of making contacts and of opening doors and avenues that you may never have even thought of. Whatever idea(s) pop into your head, follow it. Keep a pad and pencil on a stand near the head of your bed, and when these ideas come during the night, write them on a pad.

Do not tell anyone just what the cards mean. The negativity of others can destroy your efforts. When you talk about what you're going to do, you scatter your forces. You lose the close connection with the subconscious, and may have to start all over again in your program of achievement.

Repetitive words and phrases said silently or aloud are merely methods of convincing your subconscious mind, which is extremely receptive and can be convinced of the propositions you present to it. Once they are embedded in the subconscious mind, it goes to work with all of its faculties and energies to materialize them, to make them real in life. The simpler the words to express the ideas you wish conveyed to the subconscious, the better. If effects are to be permanent, the affirmations must be continued until the desired results are obtained.

Pursue the thought unceasingly. Step by step you will achieve realization, because all of your faculties and powers become directed to that end. Repetition will be the means of driving the suggestion deeply and firmly into the subconscious mind. The subconscious mind will accept and carry out whatever it is powerfully instructed to do.

Two objects cannot fill the same space at the same time. Your mind can be compared to that space; you can't keep your mind filled with negative thoughts or doubts if you have it filled with positive, powerful, and creative thoughts. Consider your mind a room with only a single door, and you have the only key. It rests with you to decide who is to come though the door, that is, whether you are dominated by positive or negative thoughts, and which ones you are going to admit, for your subconscious mind will respond to the vibrations of the thoughts that are strongest in you.

When you permit negative thoughts of doubt or fear to enter your consciousness, it is obvious that the forceful, positive, creative thoughts will have to give way, and consequently you lose your positive state. As long as you do not permit unfavorable vibrations to reach your subconscious mind, it will not be hindered by anything you may hear, see, or experience. In other words, you must at all times keep your mind filled with positive thoughts so that their strong vibrations will ward off all negative and destructive thoughts that might come from the outside.

The mental picture or thought projection must be definite and unwavering, and that requires great practice and concentration.

Get the picture of what you want and keep telling yourself that you're going to get it. 

Don't simply retire from something; have something to retire to.
- Harry Emerson Fosdick