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South Bay Mediation Newsletter

 

 

March 2015

For Families in Conflict and Those Who help Them 
This newsletter offers information and resources to assist those seeking effective resolution of divorce and family conflicts. For more information about South Bay Mediation, informative videos, and how to schedule a free consultation...Click Here...or call us now at (866) 405-2219

 

Eric Piety, MA
SPOUSAL NON-COMMUNICATION
(aka) Marital Poison

 

by Eric Piety M.A.

I recently received a tearful phone call from one of my divorce mediation clients. While that in itself is not out of the ordinary, the cause of this woman's distress provides a rather stark example of a common malady. 

 

This couple, let's call them Bob and Alice, had just decided to divorce after 15 years of marriage. With two young children, it was especially important f that this couple not only settle their divorce but begin to create an atmosphere of effective parental communication as they continue to raise their children together. A brief bit of background is in order at this point.




Alice had initiated the divorce process anxious that Bob was preparing to file and believing that he was engaged in damaging her reputation with friends and family in order to improve his prospects in the inevitable divorce proceedings. She explained to me that he had stopped communicating long ago, and though they were still living together, the relationship had become cold and distant and was affecting not only her but the children as well. In the void created an absence of communication, Alice had decided with certainty that Bob, an attorney, was quietly using his professional contacts to prepare an aggressive attack in court.  Waiting for the "inevitable" court actions to begin, Alice was becoming a nervous wreck. 


DIVORCE & FINANCIAL STRESS 
Plan ahead to avoid major financial setbacks

In This Checklist

1. Avoid conflict, if you can.
2. Add up your assets and debts and copy your financial documents.
3. Learn your rights to assets, child support or alimony.
4. Settle your final tax returns and debts.
5. Understand splitting retirement accounts.
6. Try to maximize your money.
7. Think about all your assets and taxes related to each.
8. Think about all the added costs and expenses.
9. Mediate.
10. Have a secure job.

Ten steps to take when preparing for a divorce

checkbook-pen.jpg
 

1. Avoid conflict, if you can.

Legal fees are typically the biggest cost related to a divorce. If your separation is highly contested, you can run up bills in the tens of thousands of dollars - money that gets subtracted from anything left over for you or your spouse after the divorce.

You may need the support of lawyers or a mediator, but try to keep a level head and work together on the best solution. A divorce is difficult enough without adding the additional financial strain. Do what you can to see each other's points of view and come to agreeable solutions, so you can avoid the legal back-and-forth as much as possible.


Winning Child Custody with Your Child Custody Agreement

By Hera Nelsun 

How do you "win" child custody?

Divorced parents could answer that question many different ways. Some would say that if you become the custodial parent then you have won. Others would say that if you get your way in court than you have won.
  
Winning child custody means something different to every parent because every parent has different expectations and ideas about their custody agreement. Ultimately, the deciding factor if you've won in your child custody case is if you are happy with the child custody agreement that is accepted by the court. So, how can you create a custody agreement that makes you happy and that the court will accept? Here are some suggestions.
The first thing you need to do is come up with what you want out of your child custody agreement. This will take some time, so don't hurry yourself--take the time to do a thorough job.

Effective and affordable, South Bay Mediation assists families throughout the Los Angeles area. Having been through the painful processes of litigation and divorce, I know how damaging legal battles can be. I also have experienced the power of mediation to create solutions that maintain everyone's dignity while working through painful conflicts and allowing all parties to get on with their lives. 

  

A workable agreement is always possible, even in the midst of anger and resentment. Contact us for a free consultaion. 

 

Call (866) 405-2219 or go to our website www.southbaymediation.org

 
Sincerely,

 
Eric Piety
South Bay Mediation

Special Services
military family 

Veteran Family Program

 

Divorce Services for

Los Angeles Area Vets

 

South Bay Mediation in Torrance, is offering 1 hour of divorce mediation services at no cost to military personnel, veterans and their spouses. Because mediation reduces the stress and expense of divorce for all involved, this service to military personnel is South Bay Mediation's way of giving back to those who have served.

 

Military families, like all others, face the difficulties of maintaining a marriage in our modern world and in the midst of a suffering economy and high unemployment. In addition, military families must cope with the daunting stresses that deployment and long periods of separation have on a marriage. As proud as we are of our military families and the resilience they demonstrate, marital dissolution is a reality that cannot always be avoided.  South Bay Mediation wishes to share its expert skills in order to ease the burden for those who have decided divorce is their only option.   

 

To learn more about the Veteran Family Program, or any of the services offered at South Bay Mediation, contact:

 

Eric Piety

South Bay Mediation

866-405-2219 

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