Better Solutions for Divorce                        ...Mediate...and move on...

South Bay Mediation Newsletter



November 2014

For Families in Conflict and Those Who help Them 
This newsletter offers information and resources to assist those seeking effective resolution of divorce and family conflicts. For more information about South Bay Mediation, informative videos, and how to schedule a free consultation...Click Here...or call us now at (866) 405-2219


Eric Piety, MA
Understanding the Process


by Chip Rose, J.D., California Family Law Specialist

Mediation can be described as a process that employs the neutral participation of a third person to bring two parties in conflict to a mutually agreeable settlement. 

As background to a discussion of the application of mediation to the divorce process, it would be helpful to first look at some typical relationship circumstances that tend to exist between spouses when they have reached the point where one or the other has decided to end the marriage. When marital partners begin pulling away from one another, the most obvious symptom of the growing distance is a significant breakdown or loss of trust.

As the parties literally pull back from each other (emotionally and physically), the space between them becomes a vacuum. Nature abhors a vacuum and it is predictable that something will fill that void. Given the absence of any meaningful communication between the parties, what tends to grow unchecked in that void is anxiety. Anxiety is the emotional response to "not knowing"--not knowing what the other person is thinking or feeling, not knowing what they are doing or planning to do. When no actions are taken to establish some method of constructive communication relating to the most mundane aspects of daily life (especially regarding money and bills), and left unchecked, that anxiety will eventually blossom into full blown fear. Once either party reaches this critical state, it is common to begin to take actions that are emotionally-driven and often contrary to that party's true best interests. Typical of such decisions are the following actions: canceling credit cards or charge accounts; withdrawing or transferring funds from bank accounts; changing the status of beneficiaries on life, health or auto insurance policies; and ultimately, hiring a lawyer "to look out for their rights." While these actions are seen by the party undertaking them as defensive, they are invariably experienced by the other spouse as aggressive and threatening.

What to Expect From Divorce Court 

What should you expect if you find yourself having to go to divorce court? 

The answer to this question is not the same for everyone who is faced with their marriage ending. There are various different things that you may have to do for your divorce. You will certainly want to make sure that you are doing everything that you can to make this divorce happen in your favor so that you can get you where you need to be in your life.
Try focusing on the things that you can do, the things you have direct control over, to make this struggle easier on you. Sometimes, although not often, there is a mutual agreement between divorcing parties that will allow people to settle the divorce on their own. However when things get messy between husband and wife it is important to have a qualified, disinterested, and impartial party mediate the divorce so that it goes smoother for everyone involved. This is almost always the safest way to go so that the divorce goes just as smoothly as it can for everyone and that each person gets a fair deal.

If you are fortunate enough to be getting a divorce agreement that is uncontested and a marital settlement agreement reached, then most of the time the legal documents can be filed with the court and the final judgment can be mailed to you. However, oftentimes the court will request a hearing, either informal or formal. At an informal hearing the judge has the right to ask you questions about the certain facts that are presented in the divorce paperwork. At a formal hearing, the entire divorce case will be presented right from the beginning so that all the facts are available for the judge to see and make a proper ruling.

Winning Child Custody with Your Child Custody Agreement

By Hera Nelsun 

How do you "win" child custody?

Divorced parents could answer that question many different ways. Some would say that if you become the custodial parent then you have won. Others would say that if you get your way in court than you have won.
Winning child custody means something different to every parent because every parent has different expectations and ideas about their custody agreement. Ultimately, the deciding factor if you've won in your child custody case is if you are happy with the child custody agreement that is accepted by the court. So, how can you create a custody agreement that makes you happy and that the court will accept? Here are some suggestions.
The first thing you need to do is come up with what you want out of your child custody agreement. This will take some time, so don't hurry yourself--take the time to do a thorough job.

Effective and affordable, South Bay Mediation assists families throughout the Los Angeles area. Having been through the painful processes of litigation and divorce, I know how damaging legal battles can be. I also have experienced the power of mediation to create solutions that maintain everyone's dignity while working through painful conflicts and allowing all parties to get on with their lives. 


A workable agreement is always possible, even in the midst of anger and resentment. Contact us for a free consultaion. 


Call (866) 405-2219 or go to our website


Eric Piety
South Bay Mediation

Special Services
military family 

Veteran Family Program


Divorce Services for

Los Angeles Area Vets


South Bay Mediation in Torrance, is offering 1 hour of divorce mediation services at no cost to military personnel, veterans and their spouses. Because mediation reduces the stress and expense of divorce for all involved, this service to military personnel is South Bay Mediation's way of giving back to those who have served.


Military families, like all others, face the difficulties of maintaining a marriage in our modern world and in the midst of a suffering economy and high unemployment. In addition, military families must cope with the daunting stresses that deployment and long periods of separation have on a marriage. As proud as we are of our military families and the resilience they demonstrate, marital dissolution is a reality that cannot always be avoided.  South Bay Mediation wishes to share its expert skills in order to ease the burden for those who have decided divorce is their only option.   


To learn more about the Veteran Family Program, or any of the services offered at South Bay Mediation, contact:


Eric Piety

South Bay Mediation


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