Susan B. Geffen

December, 2014
My Holiday Recipe for Disaster

(Be sure to read through this entire email. It has a lot of important information for 2015 that can help you)

Now that you survived Thanksgiving, you may fear that your Christmas will not fare (see the play on words!) so well, but know this: just as being prepared for the aging process will serve you well, being prepared for the potential upheaval of family dynamics will also serve you well.

I am talking about having a family disaster plan in place before the holiday. I am sure that you are planning on what to purchase for your loved ones. In my opinion the choice about how you will protect your mental health is far more important.

I think the biggest gift you can give to yourself (and yes, you deserve the biggest gift) is to smile in the face of utter insanity. There are insane people out there and some of them belong to you!

 

If you continue to question why your relative acts the way he or she does, you have to start asking yourself why you continue to let that person drive you crazy and make you see red. I know that your desire is to have a holiday season of mellow hues.

 

 

Here is the recipe and it's what I do: (Yes, I too have crazies in my family and by the way, you will not find this recipe on Epicurious)

You can just choose to be like they are not.

For example, the person who always throws a monkey wrench into your rainbow says something rude, nasty or outright insipid. You feel that pit in your stomach and you feel angry. You say to yourself  "I do not desire to feel anger, I want to feel love." You then say to yourself, "I am going to smile at her/him and have tremendous gratitude that I am not like her/him." You then reinforce your desire to have a happy moment by smiling. Your anger will melt and you will feel a warmth build within. I promise. Then you will smile again because finally things have changed. That thing is you. You have mastered the art of being like they are not.

Many of you will have non-caregiver relatives arrive who will criticize and second guess your hard work and efforts.  You may want to deck them or maybe you are passive and internalize ignorance.  Please know that you are not alone. One good option is to find a support group. There are several on line from which you can derive support from similarly situated individuals. However, many are just loss leaders and are really in the business of  making a referral fee from placing your loved one in a facility. As you will see below, starting in January, I will provide that forum ("The Chat Room") for you with no strings attached.

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Every year I get bombarded by 3x the typical volume of requests to meet with families before the end of the year. I should name it the "I've got to get this done now!" syndrome.

I want to help, so be sure to call soon as this is one of my favorite times of the year to spend time with my family and rest before a new exciting, exhausting, rewarding year begins. 

To make an appointment, call my office at 1 (800) 422-6070. 



New for 2015!




You are not alone!
In fact, I can pretty much guarantee that there are hundreds, if not thousands of people in Southern California who are dealing with or have already dealt with the same issues and problems that you are currently struggling with. You are an integral part of this vast community and it is time to get you communicating with one another to try and ease the burden. 

While I am tempted to say, "misery loves company" and that is certainly part of it, "THE CHAT ROOM" has a whole lot more to offer than simply "unloading" to other people. It is more about connecting you with supportive people who understand what you are going through and allowing all of you to share what works, what hasn't and what might!

You can tell your story. You can make suggestions. You can give your opinions. It is YOUR CHAT ROOM to discuss your elder care and aging challenges. 

And...it's free and anonymous. You do not have to give your name to others unless you choose to do so. 

Coming January, 2015
I am here to help. Click Here to read my client testimonials. You can call me at 1 (888) 422-6070 or email susan@susanbgeffen.com
 
Almost 10,000 people have joined me on Facebook. It's a great way to stay current on what's happening in the world of aging. 

Just go to Facebook.com/EldercareGuru and join the conversation.