It seems like every day I am getting calls from adult children, other professionals, and concerned neighbors about someone financially abusing an elderly person. As an elder law/estate planning attorney and gerontologist, I do my best to help. But what concerns me is the enormity of the problem in this country and elsewhere. 
I know I am seeing the tip of the iceberg. Cultural norms are changing across the globe. Many adult children do not feel the same obligation to care for their elderly parents, while many continue to live with them and feel free to dip into their assets as if it were some kind of entitlement.
While it is not the norm, some overly aggressive financial industry professionals often take advantage of elderly people who do not have the mental capacity to make good decisions for themselves.
For example, I recently heard of a reverse mortgage broker who helped a 90 year old woman obtain a lump sum of cash from the equity in her home who simultaneously referred her to an annuity salesperson who took that lump sum that she needed for her care and "placed it" into an unproductive and inappropriate product.
Don't get me wrong. Reverse mortgages have helped some of my clients immensely, but as in any industry, there are some bad apples.
As I mentioned in a recent newsletter, I am expending resources to try and bring more attention to the growing epidemic of financial elder abuse in the U.S. In the meantime, you can help by keeping an eye out for your elderly relatives and neighbors who may be vulnerable to unscrupulous actions of others. Pay attention to relatives that appear our of no where, or "strangers" who may be visiting, and if you feel comfortable doing so, ask questions.
If you do notice something that makes you suspicious, you can call me for input or tell the authorities.
Now, the Mud Run...
It is hard to believe that Summer is almost over. My kids are going back to school and we are starting a new year.
I have experienced a great deal of joy and suffering over the past few months. As a mother, I was pleasantly surprised to see how much my children have matured since last Summer, which made for a much more pleasurable time for each of us. On the other end, (as you probably already know) I lost my beloved aunt Janet.
As a way to close out the Summer, my husband and I decided to take our kids to Mammoth for some good old fashioned fun in the mountains. We fished, hiked, biked, and danced under the stars.
And...my husband and I entered and completed the 6K Mammoth Mud Run.
I want you to hear about my experience because it is a lesson in setting goals and pushing past fear.
Many of you know that I am 50. The mud run consists of running, crawling and climbing throught a series of obstacles , many of which culminate in landing in deep, freezing cold MUD.
At first when the starter horn sounded and we were told to run 1/4 of a mile up the steep slope of the mountain, I began to cry. My tears became more voluminous when moments later (after I slugged up the mountain) we were herded through "the Arctic Zone" where snow blowers blow freezing cold air and water over you while you crawl 25 yards under a tarp just two feet off the ground.
I wanted to quit-I was too old and too out of shape. I did not quit and although it did not get easier, I somehow adapted and began to feel exhilarated at the prospect of achieving a significant goal.
I always tell people that "as long as you are alive you have a future." I have spent my life setting goals and achieving them. I can tell you that setting simple daily goals, no matter what age, can do wonders for many of the things that hurt us as we grow older, such as isolation, feelings of worthlessness, boredom, depression, etc.
Your goals do not have to involve literally climbing mountains. For some of you, just deciding to get out of bed to go to a movie or a community center to make a friend is enough.
Here is a short list of things/goals that you can do or you can suggest to a person who thinks that their life is over because they "just aren't the way they used to be."
- Learn how to bake chocolate chip cookies and then move on to more elaborate sweets.
- Take a dance class (proven to be best for warding off Alzheimer's) and commit to learning a routine within a certain period of time.
- Get a foreign language DVD and learn the working language of a country you put on the calendar to visit (even if on a cruise) or identify a restaurant that you can use your new found native tongue.
- Volunteer at a school and tell yourself that within the next blank amount of year you will have read to 200 children.
- Tutor or mentor kids - they need you!
- Take a walk and increase how many steps you take every day until you have hit an established goal.
Speaking of future goals, here's my chance to plug two events in September that I am looking forward to:
September 21, 10 am - 1 pm, Susan B Geffen's "
Raising UP Your Parents" elder care seminar in
Studio City.
Click Here of more information.
September 28, 5:30 pm to 7:30 pm, "
Dancing for the Memories," my Alzheimer's Research Fundraiser in
Hermosa Beach.
Click Here for more information.
Hope to see or hear from you soon,