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Put an End to the Blame Game
From Overworked & Overwhelmed
to Balance and Perspective
Achieving a work/life balance is most certainly a goal for most working adults.What isn't certain, however, is the means by which we try to strike this balance.> The perception that we are overworked is well-entrenched in office culture, however, not always justified. Sometimes our vision is blurred by the "Blame Game" - blaming outside forces for inner shortcomings. When looking for ways to strike your work/life balance, it's important that you take a close look, not just in a magnifying glass, but also in a mirror. While you don't always have control over the size of your workload, you most certainly have control over how you perceive and then handle that load.
So let's get that mirror.
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The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to
change; the realist adjusts the sails.
William Arthur Ward
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Step Back and Regroup
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Are you struggling to find a balance between your work life and your personal life; do you use words like "swamped" and "impossible" to describe your workday; have you become impatient - or impassive - with your co-workers, family or friends; are you experiencing physical symptoms like chronic neck, back and stomach aches; do you feel like your cubicle is holding you hostage? Chances are the perception of your seemingly insurmountable workload has clouded your judgement and hampered your ability to cope in a constructive manner.
It's time to take a step back and regroup. Follow these simple steps and regain control of your workload, and your life.
- Take time to breathe. Find an action that calms you, e.g. a walk around your office building, and allow yourself 5-10 minutes to relax and clear your head.
- Make a plan. Give yourself 15-20 minutes to objectively assess the tasks on your desk and ask yourself these questions:
- Can I negotiate more time to address the pending issues?
- Have I prioritized to allow time for the key projects?
- Can I delegate some of these tasks to someone else in my department?
- Can I partner with someone who will bring strengths and skills to streamline the process?
- Execute. Take your plan and run with it.
Because you are constantly going to be faced with situations in which you feel overwhelmed, keep a piece of paper nearby with this list, and refer to it often. There's a reason that hotels and office buildings keep their safety procedures posted on the walls: when there's an emergency, the instructions have to be close at hand because people will be in panic-mode. When dealing with a work crisis, remember that you shouldn't rush headlong into the fray. If your office was engulfed in flames, you wouldn't see firemen leaping off their trucks and charging into the building upon arrival. An effective first response involves calm consideration, an assessment of the situation, and the formulation of a plan.
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Introduce New Patterns
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You can't control the volume of your workload, but you can certainly control the way you respond; our tendency is to play the "Blame Game" and look for reasons why we can't possibly meet deadlines and expectations. But here's the Catch 22 of the Blame Game: it's great to play the Blame Game because it allows us to blame others for controlling our lives, which relieves us of the responsibility for change; it's horrible to play the Blame Game because it allows us to blame others for controlling our lives, making us feel terrible and preventing us from making the change ourselves. Either way, you aren't in control.
Need a starting point for managing stress and taking control of your workload? Introduce some new patterns into your life that will give you the edge you need, for example:
- Make time for inner reflection - stay in tune with yourself.
- Exercise - it's good the mind and the body.
- Practice deep breathing - it really works.
- Reward yourself - do something you truly enjoy every day.
- Look for the upside - have a sense of humour, get a good laugh.
- Manage your time - the tools are out there, use them.
- Be more assertive - take control!
There are some highly effective organizational tools that can help put an end to the cycle and put you back in the driver's seat, both at work and at home. Your challenge is to take a good, hard look at those tools and then ask yourself, "Who's in control here?".
Source: Katherine Craig, Spearhead Executive Coaching. |
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FSEAP offers confidential professional assistance on a wide variety of personal and work-related issues. For more information on your EAP, call 1.800.668.9920 or visit your MyEAP Web site at www.myfseap.com.
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*Clicking on this link will open a new window and take you to a Web site that is not affiliated with myfseap.com or Family Services Employee Assistance Programs. Links to other sites of interest are provided here as a service to you, however, we can make no claim as to the accuracy or validity of any information contained on these sites. As always, speak with a counsellor or physician for advice that is specific to you and your situation. |
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This newsletter is to provide timely information to readers; contents are not intended as advice to individual problems. Please contact your EAP professional for assistance. Editorial material is to be used at your discretion and does not necessarily imply endorsement by Family Services Employee Assistance Programs. |
All articles © Family Services Employee Assistance Programs (FSEAP), except where noted otherwise. Please note that the posting of the Solutions newsletters or any articles in whole or part on any public Web site is prohibited. Customers and clients of FSEAP can access an online archive of current and back issues: log on to www.myfseap.com using your assigned Group Name and Password and select Solutions Newsletter from the MyHealth menu. To request permission to reprint specific Solutions articles, contact FSEAP at info@fseap.com. |
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