"How can a young person stay on the path of purity? 
By living according to Your Word. 
I seek You with all my heart; do not let me stray from Your commands."

Psalm 119:9-10

"You should no longer have 'The Talk' but rather 
an ongoing conversation."

Talking with your child about sex might be one of the most intimidating responsibilities as a parent. It is normal to dread those awkward conversations and difficult questions, but as a parent, you need to be the source of your child's knowledge about sex.
It is vitally important that your child learns about sex and God's plan for sex from you--not from society, school, social media, videos, friends, or movies. As a parent, it is your responsibility to lead them toward an understanding of the difference between what the world says and  what God says about sex.

Children and teens today live in a sex-saturated culture that dramatically opposes what the Bible says about sex, relationships, and how we should view our bodies. Society tells boys that they need to have sex in order to be a man and girls that they must please boys sexually in order to be desirable or beautiful. Sex is everywhere--from movies and TV commercials to the magazine covers your child sees while in line at the grocery store.

Regardless of your child's age, you can help them understand how God has designed us (and our bodies) for His glory. Even from a young age (4-5 years old), children can begin to learn how God designed our bodies just the way He wanted. Talking with your child about sex doesn't need to be a one-time 'talk,' but rather an ongoing conversation throughout childhood and teenage years.

It's never too early or too late to begin conversations with your child about purity, sex, and God's design and plan for our bodies.

The world's distorted view of sexuality is being screamed and proclaimed loudly everywhere we go, and, as a parent, you cannot remain silent. Both as a Children's Ministry and as a church, we strive to partner with parents as we lead children and teens to understand purity and God's plan for sex. 

There are many resources below that we hope will 
equip you to either begin or continue conversations with your child about sex. Please know that we are always here for you; 
no matter what is going on in the life of your family, 
we want to walk alongside of you.

In Him,
Cliff Cary & Sarah Stevens

For many parents, the biggest question 
they have when it comes to talking about sex 
is whether their child is 'ready' for it.

They fear telling their child too much 
too soon.... Because of the society we live in, 
the consequences of avoiding these conversations 
far outweigh the consequences of giving 
too much information too soon.

The fear of too much too soon 
often means we speak too little too late.

--Luke Gilkerson

"6 Ways to Become Wise Parents 
Who Talk to Their Kids About Sex"
By Josh & Dottie McDowell

Be an "Askable" Parent
Being available for any question your child asks is important. If your children are asking you questions, then you are in a position to guide them. Stay calm and be as honest and as candid as possible with your answers. Let your children know they can talk to you about anything, anytime.

Be a "Listening" Parent
When we listen attentively to our kids, it tells them they are important and we want to hear what they have to say. Try to stop what you're doing and look directly at your child. As you listen, asking follow-up questions can not only help keep the conversation going, but also show that you respect and value your child's input. 

Be a Parent with Values
Your child will make decisions (specifically, decisions about their sexual behavior) based on their values, and, by and large, they get their first set of values from you. It is vitally important that you be a parent with strong biblical values.

Be a Parent Who Befriends Your Kids' Friends
Getting involved with your kids' friends helps you understand who is having an influence on your child. Making an effort to connect with your child's friends shows your child that the people who are important to them are important to you too. It also puts you in a position where your kids and their friends will want to communicate with you and listen to your opinions. 

Be a Parent Who Networks with Other Parents
Networking with other like-minded parents gives you the opportunity to gain from their knowledge. You can find encouragement, parenting ideas, companions for your own kids, educational tools, sports or entertainment suggestions, as well as advice on discipline, health issues, and sex education.

Be a Parent Who Dreams with Your Kids
God was a champion of His people, and it made them feel special and motivated them to live up to His expectations (Jeremiah 29:11). When we champion our kids and dream their dreams, it raises them to a whole new level of hope, and they end up wanting to live up to high expectations.

Waiting as long as possible to talk about sex 
is a risk no parent should be willing to take.

--Luke Gilkerson

Morality, righteousness, and holiness are taught 
in our homes day in and day out...

While general comments from other respected adults 
on sexual purity are important, the work of preparing 
your child to walk that out is yours

Having ongoing conversations about boundaries, 
thought life, compromising situations, and purity are vital.

--Candy Gibbs
from "Rescue: Raising Teens in a Drowning Culture"

by Jim Burns
Written from the standpoint of a dad talking to his son or daughter, this book guides preteens and teens in understanding God's design for sex, relationships, and how we are meant to view our bodies.

by Jonathan McKee
This book helps parents understand the necessity of having real conversations with their kids about sex by offering tips on how to talk openly about dating, temptation, porn, and purity.
by Josh & Dottie McDowell
This easy-to-use resource helps parents understand how to put sex and sexuality in a biblical context of relationship to God and gives great, practical resources (ex: a list of comebacks/responses your child can used if he/she is confronted about sex).

by Jonathan McKee
This book calls parents to be their child's source of information about sex. The author helps parents know how to answer difficult questions about sex, God's purpose for sex, living together before marriage, and homosexuality. Each chapter includes great discussion questions to talk about with 
your child.
God's Design for Sex:
4-Book Series
by Stan & Brenda Jones
This book series offers age-specific guides for leading your child to understand how God has designed our bodies. Book 1 begins with teaching 3-5 year olds how God loved them even as a baby in the womb; Book 4 (for ages 11-14) ends the series by encouraging preteens and young teens to pursue purity.
by Luke Gilkerson
Specifically designed for children ages 6-10, this book gives a series of 7 devotional Bible studies to read with your child. Each devotional contains Scripture, talking points, 
discussion starters,
and questions.

Cliff & Sarah's Top Pick
As a whole, this 4-book series does the best job of leading you to understand how to talk with your child about sex and God's plan for our bodies. 
We want to make it possible for you 
to use this book set. 
We are willing to help purchase this set for you. Please let us know if you are interested in owning this set.
Copies are also available to check out in
Cliff's Office. 


By Focus on the Family
It can be hard to know how to talk about the changes your child's body will experience during puberty. This guide gives parents basic talking points to discuss with their son or daughter.

By Shannon Ethridge
This article addresses mostly female modesty from a mother's point of view. The author suggests several good guidelines for what it means to dress and live modestly. 

**Modesty is a heart issue for both boys and girlsand it is important 
that both genders learn why the Bible calls us to be modest. 
It is up to you, parents, to establish modesty guidelines for your family.
Kids & Technology

This booklet gives you step-by-step instructions on setting up parental controls on your child's 
iOS and Android tablets and smartphones. Additional resources are also provided to allow you to control at-home internet access and monitor online activity.

Homosexuality is one of the most controversial and volatile topics within the Church (and within much of today's culture).  In the world your child lives in today, conversations about God's plan for sex must include the topic of homosexuality.

As you begin to address homosexuality
with your child, it is important to encourage
them to follow Jesus' approach: love and truth.
Jesus loved everyone, regardless of their sin;
at the same time, He spoke the truth,
even when it was very unpopular to do so.

By Howie Batson
Our very own pastor, Dr. Batson, collected his thoughts in a thorough article refuting another church leader's call for the church to accept
same-gender sexuality. 
This article reflects the belief Dr. Batson holds regarding homosexuality.
This 90-second devo from RightNow Media encourages parents to address sexuality (specifically, gender identity and homosexuality) from a Biblical perspective, even when what Scripture says may not be what mainstream media is telling us is acceptable behavior.

How To Answer Your Child's Questions About Homosexuality
By Jonathan McKee
Use this 5-point guide as a guide in answering your child's questions about homosexuality.
Download the guide here!

As parents, ministers, and the church, we want to raise children who avoid the question, "How far is too far?" and instead ask, "How can my life and actions glorify God?"

Guiding your child to understand God's design for sex is imperative. Helping your child understand purity means helping them understand that sex is not some "line" you try to see how close you can get to without actually crossing. Yes, there are sexual encounters that are not technically sexual intercourse...but does that make them ok? 
How far is too far? 

51% of 12-17 year olds who have had sex 
had oral sex before they first had sexual intercourse.

The world today says that, if you're not going to have sex, then surely "everything but" is acceptable. Even though intercourse may not occur and that "line" is not crossed,  intimate sexual encounters outside of marriage are sin.

Statistics show that allowing children to begin dating at a young age dramatically increases the chances that they will have sex before graduating high school (see chart below). A large part of teaching children to be pure is encouraging them to focus on God rather than on dating relationships. Be open with your child about what rules/guidelines you have about dating and why those rules are important to you.

Age of Dating
% Who Have Sex Before High School Graduation
12 years old91%
13 years old56%
14 years old53%
15 years old40%
16 years old20%

We are here for you!
Please call or email us if you have any questions, 
would like additional resources, etc.

             Cliff Cary                                 Sarah Stevens
    Minister to Children        Associate Minister to Children    cliff@firstamarillo.org          sarah@firstamarillo.org

FBC Amarillo
1208 S. Tyler
(806) 373-2891
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