In whose eyes must my actions pass muster? Is it possible in the age of Google to be above suspicion of all people?

My question was triggered by an attack on a spiritual hero who works with Kids In Pain. He devotes his life to hundreds of these children and their families, and uses an unusual approach he calls, "Twisted Parenting." Despite the support of many prominent rabbis and an outstanding record of success, there remain those who attack his approach as against Halacha and our traditions. I doubt that Reb @vi, as he is known, will ever win the approval of all rabbis.

My mother ob"m, despite the support of my grandfather zt"l and father zt"l was criticized for her efforts on behalf of abused women in the orthodox community. She too, could not win unanimous approval, but forged ahead and made a huge difference. Yet, I wouldn't describe her as unconcerned with what other people thought. After all, the Sages insist, based on a scene in this week's portion, that we act in a way that is above suspicion of others.

"In the Torah, the Prophets, and the Writings, we find that a person must be above suspicion before people in the same manner that he must be above suspicion before God. From where in the Torah" "And you will be innocent before God and before Israel (Numbers 32:22)." From where in the Prophets? "Lord, Almighty God... and Israel, he shall know (Joshua 22:22)." From where in the Writings? "Find favor and good understanding in the eyes of the Lord and people (Proverbs 3:4) [Talmud Yerushalmi, Shekalim 3:2, 9a]" The Talmud concludes that the Torah verse is the most compelling.

The tribes of Reuben and Gad wanted to live in the lands conquered by Israel on the east side of the Jordan. "If we have found favor in your eyes, let this land be given to your servants as a heritage; do not bring us across the Jordan (32:5)."

Moses objected, "Shall your brothers go out to battle while you settle here? Why do you dissuade the heart of the Children of Israel from crossing to the Land that God has given them (Verses 6-7)." The two tribes clarified their request, and promised, "We shall arm ourselves swiftly in the vanguard of the Children of Israel until we have brought them to their place. We shall not return to our homes until the Children of Israel will have inherited (17-19)."

"Moses said to them, "If you will do this thing, if you will be armed before God for war, and all of you, each armed, will go over the Jordan before God until He has driven out His enemies from before Him and the land is subdued before God, then after that you will return and be innocent before God and before Israel, and this land will be your possession before God."

Clearly Moses could speak for God and declare that Reuben and Gad would be innocent in His eyes, but how could he authoritatively state that the two tribes would be innocent in the eyes of the people? Surely, some would be jealous and resentful. Is not the scene in Joshua (Chapter 22), when the Children of Israel are prepared to war against Reuben and Gad because of their suspected idol worship an expression of deeply rooted resentment and suspicion?

Moses does not promise Rueben and Gad they will be immediately innocent in the eyes of the nation, but "after that you will return and be innocent before God and before Israel," only after the Land is conquered and settled. Our obligation to act "above suspicion before people in the same manner that he must be above suspicion before God," is not in the immediate sense as a politician thinking of poll numbers, but in the long term.

Our objective must be to act in ways that will be measured by eventual results. My mother worked on her projects with confidence that her results would, "Find favor and good understanding in the eyes of the Lord and people." I say to Reb @vi, although you may suffer many criticisms, continue with your holy work. Years from now, when the kids with whom you work are healthy, functioning adults you will, "Find favor and good understanding in the eyes of the Lord and people."

In whose eyes must my actions pass muster? A person's actions must eventually be above suspicion before people in the same manner that he must be above suspicion before God at this moment.

May we all have the integrity, courage and vision, to act in such ways that "Find favor and good understanding in the eyes of the Lord and people." May we all experience such favor and good understanding. 

Rabbi Simcha L. Weinberg 

President 
If you are interested in sponsoring our  winning Newsletter, please email info@thefoundationstone.org       
                                                                      Go to our Blog

             Follow us on Twitter  


                 Become a Fan