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It was inevitable. Pharaoh certainly expected the day to come, he wanted Moses to grow up and become a man. "It happened in those days that Moses grew up and went out to his brethren and observed their burdens; and he saw an Egyptian man striking a Hebrew man, of his brethren. He turned this way and that and saw that there was no man, so he struck down the Egyptian and hid him in the sand (Exodus 2:11-12)." Moses had to choose between his royal position and his brethren. "He looked this was and that," realizing that whether or not he chose to involve himself, he would become this, or that, a Jew, if involved, a member of Pharaoh's household if not. As long as Moses did not choose his identity, "there was no man," and, although he "grew up," he would continue to exist in a vacuum, without definition. He would not be ready to assume a role in Pharaoh's palace.
His first direct interaction with one of his brethren was the following day, when, "He went out and two Hebrew men were fighting. He said to the wicked one, 'Why would you strike your fellow?' He replied, 'Who appointed you as a dignitary, a ruler, and a judge over us?' (Verses 13-14)." The man's resentment of Moses, who chose to identify as a Jew, and to involve himself yet again, overcame his fear of Pharaoh's adopted son, who could kill him as easily as he killed the Egyptian.
"Moses was frightened and he thought, 'indeed, the matter is known!' (Ibid)." Moses was frightened when he understood why his brethren were slaves. They perceived a man who would choose his identity as a greater threat than an Egyptian prince. His brethren, as a result of slavery, and watching helplessly as their friends and family were beaten and killed, rejected involvement even when their passivity allowed a loved one to be hurt.
It is this Moses who would lead the Exodus, "The man Moses was all grown up in the eyes of the servants of Pharaoh and in the eyes of the people (11:3)." The Egyptians who stood aside, uninvolved, as Pharaoh committed national suicide, and who experienced the Plague of Darkness, the Divine message that people who close their eyes exist in darkness, learned the consequences of refusing to, "look this way and that," and making a choice. The Egyptians now understood. Moses, the chooser, knew that until his brethren would become choosers they would not be ready for freedom. They too had to choose.
"On the tenth of this month they shall take for themselves a lamb for the household (12:3)." "Aha!" thought Moses, "a self-defining choice! The slaves would have to publicly demonstrate their willingness to sacrifice an animal worshipped by their masters." But God was not finished with His lesson to the people and to Moses:
"If the household is too small for a lamb, then he and his neighbor shall, (4)" join in bringing the Paschal Offering. My family is too small to eat a whole animal, so I'll partner with a friend. Only one of us will have the animal displayed on the front lawn in open defiance of our former masters. Is the other family, the one without an Egyptian deity tied up ready to be sacrificed, lacking the ability to choose? How will I welcome them into my home when they join my Seder?
God forces the choice of how to relate to the family without a public act of disobedience, insisting it is as important a choice as that of risking Egyptian anger. The choice of treating others as "brethren" is as essential as the choice of identity. A lesson as important for the Moses who was frightened of people who lacked the courage to choose as it was for the people beginning to master choice and identity.
I often find myself siding with the younger Moses who was frightened of people who refuse to choose, as I have always been frustrated dealing with people who live in a vacuum, waiting to see how others act before choosing. I prefer to engage with someone who disagrees with me in principle and has made independent choices. I wonder, now that all my children are out of the house, and my family is too small for our own animal, how would I feel about the family that joins me at the Seder; will I treat them as brethren?
Yes, I will treat them as brethren, by introducing them to the joyous freedom of becoming a chooser.
Shabbat Shalom,
Rabbi Simcha L. Weinberg
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