Newsletter April 18, 2013 - 8 Iyar 5773
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Holy Threads & Holier Words
Sponsored by Mrs. Shari Sonnenberg in honor of the 80th birthday of her beloved husband Dr. Joseph Sonnenberg. May he be blessed with many years of success, peace, nachas, and joy.
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There are moments when my quest for a relationship with God lands on my head like a ton of bricks. One of those heavy landings was this morning when I was focused on counting the threads of my Tzitzit, carefully examining each thread, and I responded to a question without thinking. The bricks landed: I spoke without thinking. It's so much easier to count, measure, and examine my Tzitzit than it is my words. This could not possibly be what God wants from me.
My mother z"l drilled into me to be very careful with the words of blessings, and my father zt"l and, ybcl"c, my rebbi, trained me to treasure each word of prayer, yet, somehow I missed their lessons about the even more powerful words spoken to people.
The lessons were there, countless lessons that seemed to flit through me without sufficient effect. My grandfather zt"l would review every conversation of the day before he went to sleep. I once heard him say to himself, "M may have heard my words as harsh; I'll speak to him in the morning to make sure that I didn't hurt his feelings." He had me summon M immediately after morning prayers the following day.
My father returned from a visit to Rav Moshe zt"l in awe after witnessing how the great sage was physically ill because he had to rebuke a young rabbi with strong words.
I, according to the terms of my ordination, must ask for an objective opinion when I believe I have to take a tough approach with a student. Rabbi Meisels zt"l, the rabbinic authority for many in Auschwitz, insisted that someone who is unconcerned with the effect of his words could not possibly be aware of the effect of his Halachik rulings, and is automatically disqualified from ruling!
So why am I, who grew up with such lessons, more careful about threads than words?
I believe it is because of how I used to hear God's call. The third Book of the Torah is "Vayikra," "God called," as the entire Book is one long call from God, an extension of the Call that began at Sinai (Exodus 19:3 & 20). Some heard the call as did Nadab and Abihu, "God spoke to Moses after the death of Aaron's two sons, when they drew close to God and they died (Vayikra 16:1)." Nadab and Abihu heard God calling at Sinai and again from the Tabernacle. They experienced the fire that went forth from God and landed on the Altar as God calling to them. They responded to God's call in the most natural way; they drew close. They died.
The second of this week's two portions informs us of the essence of God's call: "You shall be holy, for I, God, your Lord, am holy (19:2)." Holiness is described as the way we treat our parents, a stranger, the poor, and our friends, our honesty, and how we measure our words. We respond to God's Call, the Call to be holy as God is holy, by caring about our relationships, honesty, and words.
As long as I heard God's Call as an invitation to soar to the heavens, I absorbed all the lessons about my relationship with God, but I missed the essence of the Call, to be Holy in relationships. I mistakenly believed that the great rabbis, admittedly idealized, were so careful with their words because they were holy people who touched the heavens, so I assumed that if I was super careful with the threads of my Tzitzit I too, would soar, and would become someone who was as meticulous in dealing with others as in relating to God.
I missed the point. The great rabbis were not careful with their words because they were holy; they soared to Heaven, became sages, because they were meticulous with the laws of relationships as described in this week's portion of "Kedoshim," "Becoming holy people."
It is not a ton of bricks falling on my head, but an invitation to adjust the way I hear the Call. The realization that I was more careful about threads than words echoed that first Call, to be holy in speech. I asked forgiveness for speaking without thinking and then understood that my words of apology further echoed the Call of Kedoshim, and that echo of God's call in our words is the best response to the Call.
Shabbat Shalom! Rabbi Simcha L. Weinberg President If you are interested in sponsoring our  winning Newsletter, please email info@thefoundationstone.org Go to our Blog  Follow us on Twitter   Become a Fan  |
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