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Newsletter               October 25, 2012 - 9 Cheshvan 5773
   burden    

The Burden of Anger

Dedicated with our condolences to the extended family of Dr & Mrs Joseph Sonnenberg   on the passing of their grandson Avi Spiegel 

The principal, obviously in a terrible mood, humiliated a teacher in front of students, teachers, and parents, concluding with, "If you don't like it; quit! I have ten qualified candidates for your job." Parents and teachers who had witnessed the bullying followed the crushed man to comfort him. Frustrated in his inability to battle his employer, the embarrassed and enraged teacher cried out, "God should judge him for what he did!" His supporters assured him that God surely would. An inexperienced teacher was horrified by the cry for God's judgment; "I just saw in a commentary that a person who invokes heavenly judgment against another, is himself punished first. It's too dangerous to say that! Take it back!"

The young woman was accurately quoting what she had read. The commentary continues, "Punishment is meted out first to the one who cries, and is more severe than for the one against whom justice is invoked (Bava Kamma 93a)." The humiliated and now frightened teacher immediately called me to find out if there was a way for him to "take back what he said," and protect himself from his expected punishment. He forgot his humiliation and anger in his fear of Divine retribution.

Sarah is criticized for saying to Abraham, "Let God judge between me and you (Genesis 16:5)." Many believe that she died early as a consequence of invoking Divine justice, the implication being that Sarah, one of the greatest biblical personalities, could not survive God's judgment. I wonder, if so, why did it take more than fifty years for her to suffer her punishment? Is the heavenly tribunal so quick to condemn someone who, in a moment of humiliation and rage, cries out for justice? Are we to instruct the helpless victim of abuse to fear crying out for Divine justice? 

The teacher's fear confirmed my belief that this commentary's explanation of the Talmudic teaching is dangerous. Sarah was not punished for simply crying out for justice. She suffered the consequences of speaking words that, when unaddressed, weigh heavily on others. Abraham responded to her anger but not to her cry for God's justice. Her words remained hanging over Abraham's heart. Sarah's demand became a heavy burden carried by Abraham until the end of her life.

What does Abraham think when Hagar miscarries soon after Sarah's outburst? "Was that Divine retribution?" What does he think when, sixteen years later, God orders him to obey Sarah and expel Hagar and Ishmael? "Is this more of God's judgment against me?" What does he think when God commands him to sacrifice Isaac? Does he wonder whether this too is a result of Sarah's demand for justice?

What was God's judgment? Angels appear to reassure Hagar and instruct her to return home. God was sending a message that the miscarriage didn't result from Sarah's demand from justice. God wanted Abraham and Sarah to rid themselves of the haunting burden of Sarah's words. They accomplish great things together but refuse to face the burden. Would Abraham have risked Sarah's life in Gerar, introducing his wife as his sister to Abimelech (Genesis 20:2) if husband and wife had rid themselves of the burden of Sarah's words?

Abraham continues to carry the burden even after Sarah and he are blessed with a son in their old age. God reassures Abraham through Angels that save and bless Ishmael after his expulsion from Abraham's home. God is making it crystal clear to Abraham that he is not suffering from Sarah's cry for justice. God's judgment is that husband and wife deal with the crushing burden of Sarah's words. Abraham rushes home to Sarah from the Binding of Isaac, ready to shed her words, but it is too late; Sarah is dead.

I assured the teacher that the only judgment that should concern him was regarding how he and the principal would attempt to repair their relationship. God's judgment is not meant to have us live in fear of Divine retribution. It is a guide that encourages us to focus on interpersonal relationships, and, when possible, to address the far too many crushing burdens of anger we carry on our stooped shoulders.

The principal was so moved by the teacher's effort to repair the relationship that he publicly apologized! That's "Divine" justice!

On a personal note: My mother ob"m's "Divine" life  is being celebrated by an extraordinary organization she founded, Bikur Cholim of Baltimore. Please go to
The Foundation Stone home page for more information, and join me in honoring her life and accomplishments. Thank You.

Shabbat Shalom,
Rabbi Simcha L. Weinberg
President 
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