Spiritual Counseling Question of the Week
Why am I not Finding My Soul Mate?
I am a 27-year-old girl who honestly wants to find true and lasting love. I have been through a few serious relationships - the last one being the shortest but weirdly the most impactful one. I thought he was the one, but it didn't work out. This was about a year and a half ago. I was ready to start dating again about 8 months ago, and I've met a bunch of guys but haven't felt that spark with anyone so far and to be completely honest I haven't had guys show an interest in me the way they used to. I don't understand what has changed.
I live a full and complete life. I have a great family and great friends. My work is also going pretty well. The only thing I miss every single day in my life is having that special someone. It really hurts me. I have read up about the law of attraction and do my best to stay positive all the time but there are moments when I feel low and crazily lonely. I want to have someone to share my love with. I do not know what I am doing wrong. I know I have set my expectations rather high, but I do believe that I deserve someone with all the qualities, I imagine him to be.
I am done with my past and want to start fresh with someone who I fall in love with and vice versa. Any help or guidance from you would be much appreciated.
This is a great question, and thank you for explaining yourself so well. What is most impressive to me is that I get the feeling you are investing energy in trying to create a new future, but it is just not happening yet. More often than not, investing the right amount of energy is usually the problem with not creating futures you wish to experience.
The universe has a very different opinion, than humans, regarding the amount of energy
that is required to achieve goals, especially major goals like creating soul mates
. This is why all people can't lose all the weight they want to, and whenever they want to.
It is not that their bodies can't adapt to lose weight; the universe
created a perfect vessel for souls that can gain or lose weight based upon the decisions and actions (investment of energy) of the soul operating the vessel. It is the inability to invest energy and stay committed to losing weight that prevents most people from doing it. Often, this is the energy of temptation
, which only wants to take you from the path you have decided to create for yourself. Sloth
, which means lazy, not making decisions, or not investing energy, is one of the strongest, and most overlooked temptations
There are some things you said that really jumped out at me. I believe your answers lie within your questions.
"in eight months I met a bunch of guys but haven't found a spark with anyone yet."
Again, I applaud you for your efforts. You have set a goal, and defined the soul mate you want to share your future with. The universe will take your definition of what you want to create and "fill in the blanks," so to speak.
It is impossible for a human to create a definition so detailed that the universe doesn't have to fill in the blanks. It is sending you potential matches that are close, but not ideal. This is sign that you may wish to redefine what you are looking for and provide the universe with more details. The people the universe sent you all have positive and negative traits you can learn from to fine-tune your goals. Add these traits to your list when you create your soul mate, and you will help the universe send you better candidates.
"I deserve with all the qualities I imagine."
The universe doesn't comprehend anything that starts with "I deserve..." This is a human opinion and has no value of energy towards creating a future to the universe. In fact, it can be considered the temptation of pride
The energy of virtue
that corrects pride is humility. A better way to harness this energy is to make personal improvements to evolve your soul. Soul mate relationships are not about what you deserve, or what you can get from them. They are about all you have to contribute to them. If you invest energy on self-improvement and becoming a contributing soul mate, the universe can improve the quality of the soul you seek.
"I am a 27-year-old girl."
The universe doesn't measure time. Time is a human concept. It doesn't care if your 27 or 87. It can only create the environment you desire by your decisions and efforts. You are not owed anything because of your age or whatever energy you think you invested so far.
"I do not know what I am doing wrong. I know I have set my expectations rather high."
Good for you, you are supposed to set your expectations high and avoid the temptation of settling for something less because you feel lonely. Draw strength from this, because it says a lot about you as a soul and what you have to contribute to the right relationship.
I believe if you continue on your path, fine-tune it a bit, and continue to invest energy achieve your goal; you will have created and found your perfect soul mate. However, you also have to invest energy in becoming the perfect soul mate this person is also looking for.
"I don't understand what has changed."
When you are heavily committed and focused on achieving a goal, the universe can implement what I refer to as a "Groundhog Day" environment. The concept is based on the movie with Bill Murray, where he relives the same day, over and over again, until he gets it right.
What has changed is you, and your commitment to your goal. What you think was valuable in your past, such as "I haven't had guys show an interest in me like they used to,"
is no longer relevant. At your request, the universe not creating future potental paths of destiny that no longer apply to your goals and could distract you from your chosen path. The only way to get out of the Groundhog Day effect is to give up (which I don't recommend) or keep working until you finally get it right.
My last point has nothing to do with finding your soul mate. It has to do with charitable energy. You are asking the universe for something. Based on the universal laws of Yin Yang
, it will greatly help your chances if you give something to the universe.
Charitable energy is the most powerful energy in the universe. I would recommend you find opportunity using this energy. This is tricky. You can't invest charitable energy because
you want to get something back, otherwise it is not charity. In essence, you are expecting something in return. If you give freely and make yourself more available to help others the universe will put in your path, then you will be rewarded in ways you can't imagine today.
The universe does notice this energy. Basically, your desire to create the future you want to experience is no longer all about you. I promise you, if you watch and look for sudden opportunities to help total strangers, they will come.
Help them freely, and you have become an assitant for the universe, and the universe tends to take care of those souls that make themselves available for this service.
You are doing great! Just do a little fine-tuning, be available for universal charity, and I promise you that you will be the answer to someone's prayers. Someone with the same desires and values that you have.
Love and light,